Okay, so I’m not a girl. I’m genderfluid. I’m not straight. I’m pansexual. I’m like the most quirky non-conforming person. But I want a hot girl summer! A glow up, as they say. I want a chance at being even hotter and improving myself, as well as having the (short, not serious) summer camp romance I...

Hi, I've tried to just keep on going and focus on building a friendship with my bf (I guess now he's my ex but I prefer to just think of him as my best-friend). I haven't addressed the issue since I've talked to my roommate and I hope it just goes away gradually. There's only a week left in school a...

General question: Is manipulation a type of abuse - emotional abuse specifically? Background: In my first relationship I had a really toxic ex who used to say one thing but mean another. Like, he would hold the door open for me to “be polite” but also say “age before beauty”. He made disgusting innu...

I talked to her and she was extremely apologetic. She said she didn’t remember saying anything but acknowledged it was very possible and she said she was so sorry if her sister said anything to make it worse. I’m not upset with her, but yeah I will cut back on sharing things with her. I think she pr...

Yeah I'm planning on asking my roommate first if she mentioned anything. The gender thing isn't really worrisome... there are many supportive people and I knew it wasn't exactly a secret. However, I have another thing too. I told my roommate a while ago that my bf (who is actually now just my friend...

Hi, So I identify as genderfluid and pansexual. (I also have other labels such as queer, genderqueer, woman, gay-ish, non-binary, and other labels but genderfluid and pan are the ones I like best) Only my close friends (4-5 people at school basically) and my parents know. Or at least, that's who I w...

Thanks for the helpful advice and articles! I had a few days to have space from him and think about what I want. It's actually been really good - I realized I'm not really attracted to him in a romantic way anymore. He's made so much effort to be friends with me - not just friends, but he's said he ...

Well... so he and I broke up. It was a mutual decision. He's going through a lot of issues and isn't in an emotional place to have a romantic relationship. I felt like he couldn't meet the needs of a romantic relationship either. So now we're friends (I'm happy about that - he and I want what's best...

Thanks everyone for responding. It’s been a crazy week. I have had some ups and downs. I felt really euphoric the other day when my boyfriend and I hung out and had oral sex. And then I felt upset again yesterday and I don’t know why. But he was there to comfort me which shows how much he cares. But...

So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now. I really like him. I want to be with him for as long as possible. Sometimes I have trouble accepting that he loves me and won’t hurt me like my ex did. I’m a little scared to admit how much I like my current boyfriend, because I’m afraid of being c...

Okay thanks! My boyfriend was confused about it too because of the people saying that the bi part only means being attracted to 2 genders. Good to know that the actual identity is more complex and this isn’t the case

I’m pansexual and genderfluid and my boyfriend is currently figuring out a label for his sexuality. His latest label is bisexual and we’re both a bit stumped because he’s attracted to me no matter what gender I am, but the label pansexual or omnisexual doesn’t vibe with him... just wondering if a pe...

Yeah looking back on it now I was in a negative headspace then, and I’m pretty overwhelmed with other things in my life. I told my boyfriend I was glad he wanted to wait because I realized I needed it. Guess he really is intuitive and knows what is good for both of us <3. So happy we’re waiting beca...

That’s a good point - having a week to think about it is probably a really good thing. I was definitely feeling horny earlier but not as much today, which shows how much my sex drive fluctuates. Having time to think will probably give me clarity. I think the part that I can’t replicate by myself rea...

So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nine months now, and our relationship is great. We have been focusing on spending quality time together more, instead of sexual things. And for a while that was great. (Clarification: it is still great in our relationship but not in the, um, sex department) It’s ...

Thanks for the tips. I did talk to him (my current boyfriend) today, and we were able to resolve our issues, and we both said we love each other and want to move forward. That being said, my trust issues are still there, because of my ex and the way he treated me. I think my next step is talking to ...

Yeah I will try to ask my counselor if she can diagnose me. In the meantime though I am just really upset. Today didn’t help. My boyfriend was really moody because he’s going through personal shit with his parents, and he was taking out his annoyances on me and our mutual friends. He made fun of me ...

I have been having nightmares that feature my ex-boyfriend, lack of sleep, and triggers from my past relationship for months. I keep having trust issues and a fear of abandonment, and I keep thinking that my current boyfriend will break up with me - even though I know he won't because he loves me, a...

Thanks for the advice and the articles! It was very helpful.

I would say on about 50% of the time we spend together, just the two of us, one of us (usually me) asks how things are going with the relationship in general and what kinds of physical stuff is okay. I guess I could bring it up the next time we’re alone together. The only times he’s called me any pe...

So at the beginning of our relationship I made it very clear to my boyfriend that I didn’t want him to touch my butt. At the time I was self conscious about it because I have a lot of stretch marks from when I lost too much weight during one of my eating disorders, and I thought my ass was really no...

Okay, thank you! Yeah I do tend to over analyze things and also, yes, a lot of my worries are from the past relationship. Thanks for the advice!

Hi, thanks for responding so quickly! Yeah this is causing me some stress. And it’s true that all these events happened within days of each other so it was just a lot to handle at once. Good idea to bring up thought patterns with my counselor. I think that will be useful for me because I do tend to ...

Just a heads up, I’m covering a lot in this post because there are a ton of contributing factors. So a few days ago my boyfriend and I had a long talk about intimacy in our relationship. I told him I like when he initiates things, and I want him to do that more often. I also said sometimes I feel li...

Abstaining from sex related things right now seems like a good solution - unless I'm 100% in the mood for it and I know it won't cause me stress. Thank you for the good suggestion. And yeah, doing other activities with my boyfriend and my friends that aren't related to sex - and are good for stress ...