I am at work. I broke it on the weekend, so I didn't even get to use a sick day. I'm not great at my job now that I can't demonstrate things, but oh well. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. I'm not sure I really believe that things can/will improve. People have been telling me...

Thank you 42 for your thoughts and that you Sam for restoring my account. I took the month to think, and I’m still pretty lost. I’m not sure if help is something I can receive from here/anywhere, so I am trying to turn my attention to being the best possible ally that I can be. Just because it didn’...

Hello, Thank you for taking the time to reply. It is quite comforting to know that there is someone out there who gets it, but I am sorry that you get it because it's not a fun thing to know. I think that all help-seeking requires attention-seeking (see: babies crying), but I do wonder when attentio...

Well, y'all, this one is a lot. I'm really confused about a lot of things in life and questioning a lot of things about myself. One of these is whether or not I'm a toxic person. I am not sure I know the difference between attention-seeking and help-seeking. So do I have problems and find help, or d...

I'm really sorry to hear that things haven't gone the way you'd hoped after grad school especially with the other things that it sounds like happened on top of that. I'm glad that you've found a glimmer of hope going into 2023. As for setting small goals, I am trying to do more things that I like ju...

The end of the year is supposed to be a joyous time to reflect on accomplishments and set new goals, but I'm just having Saturday night sadness and Sunday night scaries over the next year. This year really hasn't gone the way I thought it would on a lot of levels. 2022 had everything going for me: f...

Thank you and everyone at Scarleteen for being there. I worry a lot that I’m here too much and will become dependent which is why I am trying to step away again, but it is difficult when I lack the support offline. Part of it is that online makes it so easy to identify or try labels out, where it is...

To be honest, I'm not sure what I think. Word vomit ahead. I feel like I'm pulled in a lot of different directions in terms of care. If I care about my stress, I would go back in the closet completely. It would eliminate stress at work and everywhere else and take care of my fear of being outed to m...

To Nicole- I’m not even sure that I desire that identity anymore. I think I desire what I thought that it could be (authenticity and acceptance), but now that I know what it’s really like, I don’t want it. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t choose to have any labels or have to explain them to anyone. I ...

It’s okay, I can try to answer as best I can. To be honest, nothing feels great right now, but I think it’s probably just my mental health crashing (again). How did it feel to have someone use those pronouns: Really, really stressful. They/them is a very instantly outing pronoun. I’ve basically just...

As much as I would like to be out, my quality of life has definitely gotten worse since identifying as I did and much worse after I tried coming out. I have come to the conclusion over the past few months that it is best to put this identity away and let it go. I'm just not sure how. Today, one of t...

Of course! I think an interesting question for everyone is did you choose your pronouns or did your pronouns choose you?

Hello, all. Some really interesting responses here, thanks for engaging! Nicole- My first experience with gendered languages was in high school, and it was eye opening for me too. Suddenly it wasn't just people who had pronouns, but all dogs are he/him and mountains are she/her. I do wonder if that ...

How have y’all settled on your pronoun(s)? I’m trying to find something that I’m okay with and is plausible for others to use for me. I used to like they/them, but it’s caused me so much distress and fear that it no longer feels like a good thing. I like some neopronouns (e/em and fae/faer), but it’...

I agree that gender euphoria is a difficult term. For me, the ideal would be living a life where I don’t have to think or feel anything about gender at all. In that case, it’s not euphoria really. Gender free I guess? I’m not sure if that’s an attainable goal, though. Thank you for being vulnerable ...

Sorry, just venting ahead. Today I got a trim to get my layers evened out, and there’s a good chance that I’m beginning to have another episode of alopecia. I know it’s just hair and I’m lucky that there’s no (physical) pain, but I’m still upset. I’m angry that I may never have the hair I want, and ...

Well, it’s been almost two years, and I’m revisiting this topic. I still currently have short hair, but I’m thinking about letting it grow back out for a few reasons. The first is that I my realization from earlier is still true. Very few people gender me correctly even with short hair and button do...

I’m sorry to hear that you’d been getting ghosted. I feel like it’s much more common given the online dating scene. I also feel that the culture of “you don’t owe anyone anything” is often misconstrued and used to justify a lack of communication or maturity in handling situations that should be disc...

I think it's best to just leave it. I'm fortunate enough to be early enough in my career that moving locations is easy, so I just have to make it through the school year. When I move and meet a whole new set of people, I'll know better what I'm getting in to from my experience this year. As for my p...

I've been ghosted quite a bit this year, and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. For reference, none of these have been in the context of dating. Mostly, it's been about getting in touch with people and talking about hard things for some closure. It's happened a good 5 times this year where I've reac...

Jawz, that sounds exactly what my life is right now. I don't have any advice, but you're not alone. I've decided to go back in the closet and try to forget about it (since everyone else seems to have already anyway), but I do admit that it's taking quite the toll on my mental health. I know this pro...

I'm typically a master of deflection, so it's funny (in a sad way) how bad I am at deflecting these questions. I suppose it stems from my aversion to conflict. I worry that people will say "I'm just trying to be inclusive" or what have you and then it's my fault for being rude. I also want...

Hi socks! I hear you on answering differently based on the situation. In professional and academic settings where I don’t know anyone, I feel comfortable pretending like I forgot and just say my name. When people as me specifically, I have a harder time lying. It sort of feels like I’m forced to com...

With national coming out day coming up, I've been doing some thinking about what kind of information we owe others. As someone who is mostly closeted regarding my gender identity, the pronoun question causes me quite a bit of stress. It's becoming more and more common to ask for pronouns. As someone...

Unfortunately, my employer has blocked scarleteen on the wifi, and I’m unable to chat from my phone. Does Friday or Saturday work for anyone? I’m happy to set aside time on either day.