Of course, accepting femine traits that we DO feel fit with our own expressions, and have just been rejecting in ourselves because of our internalised misogyny, IS a sign of growth, and I know I personally have gone through that journey, and so to read about those characters is really good for yout...

I didn't really see anything wrong with female characters who were kind, nurturing, peaceful, gentle, etc. Neither did I. But I could not really relate to them. And yes, I felt disappointed that Eowyn returned to her 'natural role' in the end. To me, it felt like a forced choice, not a happily made...

I remember being a bit bewildered and intimidated by this kind of narrative in books and films when I was kid and a teen, because I thought those "not like other girls" strong female heroes were really cool, but they were so unlike me and I couldn't identify with them. Made me feel sort of...

I have never understood straightening curly hair. I love curly hair. I bet you look gorgeous.

I love my breasts. I am so glad that I am a woman and get to have them. Breasts are great. I like picking out pretty bras and dressing them up, even if nobody but me can see it.

Another virtual hug from me! Seriously, you sound like an amazing, strong, intelligent, reflective person and you deserve none of the shit that has happened to you. I second Stephanie's advice on giving yourself positive feedback. Just in case you are like me and find it difficult to be really enthu...

Hello Atonement, if you want to talk, I'm very willing to listen! I can't really offer much advice. I am not an expert on any of this. All I can do is just tell you how eating disorders have affected me and my life and what I personally have found works well for me and what doesn't. I have found it ...

Hello, man, I am so, so sorry to hear about anybody currently having to deal with this kind of stuff. You have my sympathy and my respect. If it would help you at all to just swap experiences about living with an ED and maybe vent a little, you can give me a shout. I've had these beasts on my heals ...

...being the "cool girl" who was "one of the guys". I started to despise femininity and became misogynistic towards any femme women. But my female friends (who shared the same "I'm one of the COOL girls because I hate women" attitude)... You know, I am kind of glad tha...

Hey there, personally, I don't think my sexual orientation is really many people's business. If someone were to ask outright (which hardly ever happens), I would say "bi", because nearly everyone has heard that term and knows what it means. It doesn't fully describe my sexual identity, but...

[quote="Jwashere"] Is it time to see a "professional"? Is it good to learn this skill from someone really experienced, or should I wait and let a girl I care about emotionally to guide me? You know, it always really confuses me when people talk of sex as a skill. It's not like th...

Dear 12then5, I really, really want to second what Heather says here: I don't know about you, but I'd feel way, waaaaaay worse finding out later -- and this stuff usually always comes out at some point -- that I was having any kind of sex with someone who didn't really want to be doing that than I w...

Abusers love to isolate and to set up a "no one understands our love/it's us against the world" type of situation, and attacking him directly can strengthen that. You mention other people getting into fights with her lately; is that directly connected to this relationship? As horrible as ...

Wow - um. I don't quite know what to say, Heather. Thank you! I will definitely try talking to her again. The last time I said I was under the impression that she was unhappy, she said yes, she was, but didn't want to talk about it further. Which is her right, of course. It's so maddening, to get al...

Hello everyone. I am very, very worried about a friend, and I cannot quite make up my mind whether I am overreacting or whether my concerns are valid. Here's the situation: There is a girl I have known every since grade school. I am closer to her sister than to her (she is two years younger than us)...

Hey there, man, I feel for you. I have a similar problem - I have no clue how to talk to men. :-p Or anybody, really. I am shy and socially awkward and it always seems to me as if everybody else is playing a mysterious social game that I will never understand or be able to take part in. Just saying ...

Hey there, just an idea: is there any chance you could visit the college in question for a day or so and have a look around? Just get a feel for the place and the people and see if it seems like a good fit? As for occupying a woman's space, I don't think that should be much of a concern. If the coll...

It's so hard for me to even like my own body. Gaining weight is among my worst fears. I'm 5' 8" and 125 pounds. I spent a long time in high school eating only 500 calories a day and burning all those off with exercise. I was heartbroken when I'd never reach below 117. It's been years since the...

Hey there, For starters, you could browse around the main site here. I am on my phone right now and so have trouble adding links, but I know there's a good article on sexual shame and I think there is one about this whole weird "slut" concept as well. I am so sorry that you are struggling ...

Hey there, there are a lot of different potential reasons for late / irregular periods. Stress can be a factor, as can be changes in body weight, biorhythm (like if you work shifts or just have trouble going to bed and waking up at regular times), hormonal imbalances (very common during adolescence)...

Congratulations, Kaizen! My big yay right now is that I am finally feeling better after a pretty shitty year. I am glad 2015 is almost over. I love the holiday season, even though I have to work. My partner is home (big yay, because we're mostly long distance due to our jobs) and he's been cooking f...

Wow. I think you are very brave to spell out all that happened to you like that and look it in the face, so to speak. That must have taken a lot of strength. I will say this again even though you know it already and it probably won't change how you feel: not your fault. What this guy did to you is n...

Just stopping by briefly to say thank you again, Heather, for your help here and to report back there's been progress. I followed your advice and focused more on explaining my side of the problem to my partner, instead of addressing his issues. I told him about the books and said I would be willing ...

It's totally okay to repeat yourself! Sometimes we have to mull over the same thoughts several times to get somewhere with them. Sometimes we just have to vent. It's all fine. I know people have different opinions when it comes to corporal punishment. Personally, I consider hitting anyone in any con...

Hey there. I hope it's okay for me to chime in. I just saw that you are online and thought maybe it would be nice for you to know someone read your last post this minute. I am so, so terribly sorry that you have to through all this. If you were beaten, then I must say I do not agree your father was ...

Hey there, in my opinion, the best strategy is usually to be straight-forward and honest. If you aren't comfortable with something, you can say just that: "I am not comfortable with this / I don't want to do this / it doesn't feel okay for me". If you find his insistence uncomfortable, you...