I think what creeps me out the most is when people talk / write about sex as if it were something women only "give" to men if they are payed, bribed or manipulated. God forbid we think about sex as something a woman would choose to do for fun and / or love. Also when guys say they feel &qu...

So... I was browsing around the internet and somehow it really struck me these last few days how many guys voice complaints along the lines of "we have to organize dates and pay for everything, but she gets to decide whether we have sex or not. This isn't fair and therefore feminism is bad.&quo...

This is one of the rare examples where I think the film version is as good as the book. I thought it was all very romantic. Not entirely realistic... To me, it read a bit like a fairy tale. But that isn't a bad thing at all, I like fiction to transcend reality rather than imitate it. If books and mo...

Hey there ladybug, wow, this sounds really tough. It's totally understandable that you feel bad. I am so sorry. An idea for how you could maybe think about this so that you might feel less overwhelmed: Your friend's relationship with his girlfriend is their business and their responsibility. His gir...

:D Mo, once I tried that during a very large family gathering and ended up in a crowded kitchen with five aunts who had also hoped to use that as a place of retreat. I am fortunate in that I don't dread meeting my closer family. I adore my parents, I like my in-laws and lots of my extended family is...

Okay, but this sounds good. You say you're ready to accept yourself as any identity, you just want to know what it is, did I get that right? That's definitely a good place to start out from. You will find yourself, I am pretty sure. It might take time. But in my opinion, finding out who you are is w...

Hey there. You do sound very distressed and confused, and I am sorry that you're having such a rough time right now. You say you are 14 years old. That is a time where an awful lot is happening on a hormonal, neurological, anatomical and psychological level. I don't want to say that we're completely...

I see two options here: either you tell her that you and your boyfriend really need some time alone and that's why she can't sleep with you. Or you let her in, wait until she's fallen asleep, then sneak out and have sex somewhere else in the empty house. Having once been a little girl myself who was...

Hey there! I just wanted to second what Heather said about learning from videos, books, etc. I do not think "good" sex is something you can learn from a general, theoretical source. Sure, you can learn how intercourse and other ways of being sexual work on an anatomical / physiological lev...

Thanks, Heather. Your comment made me feel better. Of course I didn't intend to mock anybody. I have little hope that talking to HR will help... And before I take that step, shouldn't I talk to the colleague in question and ask if she's aware of the problem, if it has been addressed on any official ...

I like the "why is that funny" angle. That sounds like something I could do, because I am really not bad at acting naive. I might not get away with it, though, because unfortunately, when I began working there, I made a very embarrassing mistake myself. This co-worker's voice sounds differ...

Yeah, I think I can relate to what you describe... I didn't care much about strangers or celebrities being "hot" when I was a teen and I often didn't understand what my peers saw in them or what they were talking about. But then, I spent most of my early teens pining for a woman who wasn't...

One of my colleagues at work is a trans woman. I did not not know this until fairly recently, and I don't think it would have occurred to me on my own; to me, she was always just a woman and she still is. Apparently, she already worked there before she came out, so most people knew her as a man firs...

Hey there, you sound like a really caring person, so I suspect you're helping him right now by just being you. In my limited experience, it's worth an awful lot to just be there for someone and let them know that you love them. You can't do anything about the cause of his distress, and it's also ver...

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm looking, but it's tricky. I live in the middle of nowhere and the only therapists I know of are associated with my own employer. Of course there's patient confidentiality and all that, but I'm not really keen on taking the risk that my emotional problems co...

It does. Something really great happened. The other night, I was in a really bad place mentally and emotionally. My thoughts just spiraled downward and downward until all I could do was imagine my own death. Not that I actively wanted to make it happen or anything, but sometimes, when I'm feeling re...

It sounds to me as if your experience was traumatic and as if you were violated, even if the examiner probably didn't mean for it to be this way. I'm not sure whether my experiences could actually be helpful for you, because I have not had to deal with this kind of trouble. All I can talk about is h...

I feel so sorry for you that you have to go through all this. I was in a similar situation a few years ago - got PID even though I was in a monogamous relationship with my first sexual partner who had also never had sex with anybody but me and we had never had sex without a condom. To this day I don...

A polar bear... I quite like that image :D He's being a darling, like always. Unfortunately, he's quite far away from me right now (our relationship is long-distance for most of the year). But I'm happy to know he's around. For some weird reason, I've been feeling better since I posted about my mise...

Thank you so much for your concern! You are right, of course my recent "trauma" (I'm putting that in quotation marks because it wasn't life-threatening in any way and I wasn't assaulted or robbed or anything. It was just a fucking scary bummer situation where it seemed for a while as if my...

Seasonal affective disorder? Maybe. I can't rule that out, in any case. Though generally, I am a winter person much more than a summer person. And usually, I enjoy a bit of gloom. All the other years, my November Blues were mostly pleasant in a way. This is different. But what you say about the stre...

I'm a bit hesitant to post about this, because it's not really sex-related (even though it does affect my sex-life) and might turn out to be a mental health issue. But I know that writing things out has helped me in the past, so I think I'll just go for it, and if it isn't appropriate, I'm not offen...

I think consent is a prerequisite for having sex, while the goal is to feel good. The article mentioned an "orgasm gap" and that sex is most often considered over when the man has had his. In defense of men, I feel like I need to point out that after a man has ejaculated, it's usually rath...

Okay, here goes then. My thoughts on being fat. This has been an issue for me all my life, so I have done a lot of thinking (and suffering...) in this area. It's all my highly personal opinion. The way I see it, there are two major concerns around being fat. One is beauty, and the other is health. 1...

Good for you for breaking up and being so positive about your decision! I am really glad to hear you got out of a relationship that was not good for you. I feel pretty strongly about some of the things you mentioned earlier, like how being fat affects your self-worth, and I would be happy to discuss...