Mo said a lot of what I was thinking already, so I think I can keep this (for me) short. What I'm hearing from you is that on the one hand, you actually know this relationship isn't going too well and this guy isn't such a great person to have sex with, but you're reluctant to break up because you f...

Hey there. I am on my phone and in a hurry, but I just want you to know right now that somebody read this. To be perfectly honest with you, your post broke my heart a little bit. I think I have a lot to say to you, but that will have wait until later. For now: you deserve so much better than what yo...

Interesting... Thanks for all your insights. I just wasn't aware before this relative made a (small) fuss that condoms have any kind of symbolic meaning for certain people. I just like the things. Birth control with zero side effects that helps prevent STIs as well, is inexpensive and available near...

I suspect there's really nothing big that you are doing "wrong", it's just that relationships can't really be forced. The desire to find a mate is so strong that this can be very hard to accept, but in my humble opinion, the kind of emotional connection you seem to be looking for is to a d...

So the other day, a family member (not one of my parents!) found my condoms. I can't say they were very well hidden, but then, I don't think there's anything shameful about them and if you use my bathroom, well, there they are. So this relative reacted in a way that surprised me: She thought that be...

This is another tough question... I use the word love all the time when talking about chocolate or books or hair when I should probably stay "like very much". I do believe in "real" love though and have very idealized notions about it. I think even it comes to Love love, there ar...

What about Luke and Leia in the old Star Wars? At first he really wanted to get with her and she flirted back (mainly to make Han jealous, I think :P). Then later they're really good friends and in the end find out they are siblings. And Star Wars is huge, it's not as if I pulled that out of one of ...

Thank you Heather! So you think that maybe when we are in our fifties, I'll be the one going "yeah, lets have sex" and he'll go "nahhh... not today..." ? :D I must say I'm kind of looking forward to that now... The sex I had when I didn't really want to was definitely in the &quo...

I've been thinking all day about a big mistake I made during the beginning of my first and so far only relationship and I've decided to write about it here, both to help my brain let go of the topic for the night so I can maybe sleep and also because I'm hoping that maybe someone will read it and av...

I bet you look gorgeous, Asleah. I love curly hair. And there's certainly something to be said about letting your hair grow out of your head just as it is. Not that I mean to judge people who don't! I just personally really prefer a natural look, whether that's natural curls (sigh of envy from me) o...

I am going to be late for work, but I feel the urge to log in here briefly just to say this to you: There are people in the world who will be with you for you , no matter how many personal problems and / or traumatic experiences you have, and who will honestly try to respect your boundaries. Yes, ev...

This is getting harder and harder to wrap my little mind around... :) I suppose an adjective is a label when it's understood to imply more than the word itself or when it's used to sum up a person's identity or major part of their identity. And I have a problem with labels because I doubt that a sin...

I've thought about this an awful lot at different times in my life... For me, one of the problems with labels like "gay" is that as soon as the label is used, the labeled person is often defined by that one trait alone. Know what I mean? For example, when I was at university, there was thi...

My hair is the only thing I am vain about. I really like my natural hair color on me, even though it's nothing uncommon, so I've never died my hair and I've never really had a haircut either since I was a little kid. When I was very young, my parents wouldn't let me grow my hair out because it's so ...

This is an interesting question, and not at all easy to answer. When it's just me alone with myself and not thinking about my body in reference to any other person, group of people or society at large, I don't really have a problem with it. I really like being in my body, it feels comfortable and ho...

If you don't mind me butting in here, bigbywolf, you don't sound self-centered and / or whiny to me. You sound upset and hurt, but if you're in the middle of a breakup, that's not very surprising. Neither is missing your ex even though you have a lot of negative feelings about him right now. It soun...

You guys really ask the most interesting questions around here... While my brain fully agrees with the definition of sex you linked to above, Heather, I know that instinctively, I do feel that only intercourse is "full sex". Like, when my partner and I are being sexual together and I'm not...

You know, it's expressions such as "friendzone" that further my irrational fear of guys. This expression and the way it's commonly used seems to imply that men / boys only seek out women / girls to have sex with them and that aside from this function, they consider interacting with us a wa...

Forgive me for digging up this older thread, but the subject is so interesting to me... What is romantic? That's such a difficult question, actually! I have an intuitive sense of what "romantic" means and I am pretty sure I am a romantic, but how to actually define that...? In a dictionary...

Hey there, I haven't much to add after all the thoughtful, lovely, intelligent people who have already replied and am just dropping in to say I read your posts and I am very, very sorry you have to go through all this. Some of it resonates with me and my own experiences. I feel for you (even though ...

Hey there, I doubt the social issue will be much of a problem. You wouldn't want friends who don't accept you for who you are, would you? Professionally - that would depend on the job and the people you work with, but in most places, I don't see how a woman would be at a disadvantage for looking rat...

Things that make me feel happier: - Walking or running outside while listening to music. It always takes a huge effort to get my ass out there, but once I did, I always end up feeling much better. - Cleaning up, especially if a lot gets thrown in bags and taken to the dump. Another activity that nee...

Just dropping in to say thank all of you again for responding. I feel a lot better right now. Sam, I love how you said that sometimes all you can do is validate someones feelings on how badly things suck. I think it's often underestimated how helpful that kind of support can be. Again, a thousand th...

Music is really powerful. At least for me. I don't turn to music so much to be "cheered up" as to feel understood. The "getting it" part is really important for me. Also, I really like songs that to take me past my current situation and re-shift my focus on the big picture. Not o...

Whooops, seems I posted simultaneously with Heather. Get well soon, Heather!