HI Timmygaerlan,

Before I answer, can you give me a little information on you and your boyfriend's relationship? Is there something in particular that's driving those worries you expressed?

Ah, okay, so it sounds like you have been experimenting. Just to get a better sense of things, is he able to orgasm when he masturbates? And as far as toys go, what things have you two tried? It sounds like this is really frustrating for you. Is he also frustrated, or is he eager to keep trying? Too...

You're welcome :) That does sound like a really frustrating dynamic to live with. It does sound like some of her controllingness is coming out (or she could be really, really misguided in trying to help, but at a certain point her motives matter less than what they result in). In terms of navigating...

Hi xiaoxciao, I'm sorry you've been feeling guilty. My first recommendation is that you and your boyfriend dial back your sexual behavior to a place where you both feel comfortable with any risks involved. If you'd like some ideas for how to do that, we can talk about that more. The next recommendat...

You're welcome

Hi Tooworry, So, we can't say why other places say what they do. Unregulated media will always be inconsistent. What I can do is give you these two articles, which are full of tools for sorting good information from bad: Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online Literacy...

Hi Fender, You have a 12 hour grace period before your pill is considered late, so if you took it 11 hours after the usual time, the effectiveness should not have been lowered. As for the symptoms, people's bodies react differently to the pill, and it sounds like yours has settled on breast tenderne...

Hi Kittylene, It can be frustrating to want to help a partner orgasm and find that their body is not responding the way you had hoped. Especially when women are often taught that "pleasing" their man is proof of their skill. However, orgasm is not the be all end all of having sex, and you ...

Hi Jackojacko, You're right that western culture has a tendency to sexualize nearly everything women do. And it's sound to avoid replicating that tendency in your own life. But, that doesn't mean that thinking someone is sexy is inherently wrong or unfeminist. Think of it this way: let's say you're ...

You're welcome! And yep, relationships can sometimes surprise us (though other times they pretty much fit with what we expected). As for reading, a great starting book is "Redefining Realness" by Janet Mock (you can usually get it through a library). We've also got a few articles on the si...

Hi Lovelystar, First off, I want to say it's great to hear that getting to present as girl is making you feel happier, and that your parents support you in that! I also want to say that it's okay to not be 100% sure of how you identify in terms of gender or sexuality. It can take people years to sor...

Hi Tooworry, We will not answer ANY questions about pregnancy fear or anxiety in our direct services from users who are not pregnant or who are not or have not otherwise been directly involved with an actual pregnancy. Please do not post this kind of question. If you are seeing this text, and your t...

Hi 59wcs, This is one of those situations where there may not be a perfect solution, so you'll have to go with what's workable. It may be that you have to risk getting a hotel, or start working towards getting a license to drive (even if that's more of a long term solution than an immediate one). Bu...

Argh, that really must be frustrating (jedi high five however for the volunteering you do. That's rad!). I'm going to do a little more digging to see if there's a resource that's hiding, but you've clearly done a lot of research into this and it may indeed prove to be a unicorn hunt. I also left a n...

I'm glad you've found some workbooks to help you out and give you some tools. Can the current therapist refer you to someone who does specialize, or is that not an option? As far as tools, these two articles can help you sort good information from bad: Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educato...

Totally understandable (also WTF with not letting interns take insurance). Have you ever gotten services from the Tom Waddell clinic in SF? Last time I looked they offered mental health services, and had experienced counselors on staff : https://www.sfdph.org/dph/comupg/oservices/medSvs/hlthCtrs/Tra...

Hi Josie, I can't say for sure what his motives were, but I'm willing to be that part of your doctor's reaction was him trying to not feed the anxiety beast by giving you a test that he (and you) know you didn't need. Did he offer any suggestions or people you could talk to about the OCD around this...

Hi arctostaphylos We should be able to at least get you started on finding a long term therapist (and I hear you on Medi-Cal. California bureaucracy is like normal bureaucracy plus one). Do you go to or use resources from any of the LGBT organizations in the bay area? Are there ones you would trust ...

Hi Feathers, I would check the directions for your specific pill to see if they include information on what to do in this situation. You could also try calling the pharmacist who gives you the pills and asking for their opinion. My instinct is to say that you should continue with this pack and not s...

New advice column: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse ... s_of_abuse

You're welcome, and I hope the talk goes well!

I'm going to be honest with you and say that possessiveness, especially when it's that strong, is a red flag in a relationship. A trusting partner does not try to control who you see or talk to. Does he tend to be controlling in other ways, like wanting you to check in with him a lot?

Okay, so that's not a good dynamic to have in a relationship (and you probably already sense that). It's part of a healthy relationship to have both partners be able to have friends of the genders they're attracted to. Your boyfriend gets to have a girl friend he is close to, and you get to have a g...

Hi Mattsgirl,

When putting pressure on the clitoris, as long as you're not rubbing it until it's raw or bruised, it should be fine (and even then, bruising or similar won't cause permanent damage, it will just be uncomfortable for a bit)

Ah, okay. What if the two of you decided to talk about this issue at a time when it wasn't emotionally urgent? In other words, if you're trying to have this discussion when one or both of you is stressed or upset that can make it more likely that it will lead to a fight. Too, it can help to use I st...