Hi thedarkestnight, It's absolutely okay to talk about all this here, and I want to start by saying that what this person did really wasn't okay, and that I'm sorry your first partner turned out to be someone who behaves this way. For what it's worth, what you're describing does meet the definition ...

Got it, thank you for those details! The good news is, those are all parts of communication that can be learned and practiced. We have a few different articles that I think can act as starting places for learning them, and give you some tips on how to practice them in smaller ways so that the first ...

Hi forest_wave, Those are all really good questions! One helpful starting place for the ones about casual sex in particular is this article of ours, which goes over the different ways a casual, sexual relationship can look and the things to keep in mind when navigating one: https://www.scarleteen.co...

Hi Nat, There are for sure some things you could try to help these conversations be a little easier for both of you (and if she's open to it, there are some great books out there that can help her feel more confident in navigating them from her end). But before we dive into that, can you give me a s...

I do think it's sound to recognize that illness is just one of those realities of life that can be mitigated or treated, but not prevented entirely. And weighing whether we're comfortable facing the risks of being sexual with another person is part of figuring out if/how we want to be sexual with ot...

Yep, I'm American, and my source for that is how John Hopkins describes the procedure.

Having had the vaccine does decrease the risk that a pap test would come back abnormal, as you've taken a step that makes it less likely that you'll have the strains of HPV that can cause one.

Hi Jay27,

It's a pretty low percentage of pap smears that come back as irregular in the first place. But even if you did get one that then required further investigation, it's standard to have some form of anesthetic during a cervical biopsy.

You're welcome!

Hi rahul39, So, it sounds like the main issue here is that you have some misconceptions about what sperm can and cannot survive. If there is sperm present in pre-ejaculate (which may not always be the case; sperm is more likely to be present in pre-ejaculate if someone has ejaculated recently and no...

How would you say the rest of your body feels right before or right after you notice the pleasure stopping and the throbbing starting? Do you still feel tensed, or do you feel relaxed?

I'm glad Willa and Heather we're able to help you out! And I hope the conversation with your mom goes well.

In addition to what Willa said, do you feel like you can talk with the guys about what happened and how you're feeling?

Hi Nat, It sounds like you're already making strides in figuring out both what sets off that dysphoria and what helps alleviate it, and that at least some of the things that set it off--like not having lube--are relatively easy to solve for. With comparing yourself to cis girls, are there specific t...

Hi jumbomumbo, Can you say a little more about what those expectations are you feel you have to live up to? Are they tied to the shaming messages you got growing up, or to something else? Too, when you think about being in some other place and THAT giving you the freedom to express yourself as you w...

I'm glad my answer was helpful! You know, when we're explaining any part of our sexuality to someone, including things like fantasies or the kinds of scenarios or traits that arouse us, it's okay if we don't quite have the words to describe it perfectly, or we're unsure of how to categorize it. Sexu...

Hi Chocolate Moose, I think it's great that you're looking to learn more about periods as a cis guy! The basic answer is that a "normal" period is going to be a little different for everyone, because our bodies are just that diverse. Too, I would say that for most people, it's less about t...

Hi StellaOs, I'm sorry to hear this is stressing you out to this degree! Though it does sound like this is ultimately an interaction that was consensual and even overall positive, and that what's tripping you up now is some feelings about it that you maybe didn't anticipate. To make sure I'm underst...

Hi E_F Really quick, before I give you my thoughts on this, can you please let me know what other account(s) is you? We ask in the guidelines that users no make multiple accounts, and part of the reason for that is it makes it hard to keep track of a users history, including what information they've...

Hi Nat,

Okay! Are there particular points from any of it that you want to discuss more?

Hi shoelaces99,

In addition to everything Orion said, I so want to note that, while there's nothing wrong with having a vibrator at fifteen, getting one will likely involve your mom or another adult purchasing it for you, as many places have laws prohibiting the sale of sex toys to minors.

I do want to clarify what Orion said; pre-ejaculate can pose a risk if there's direct contact between it and the vulva or vagina. But in this specific situation, given how brief the contact was and the fact there may not have been pre-ejaculate present at that point, I would say the risk here is clo...

Hi Lyle, Given that this is still in the realm of crush, rather than an ongoing romantic relationship you're now having to re-adjust to someone coming out as asexual, and that it sounds like you know that something that IS a priority for you in a relationship--sex--isn't remotely that for her, that ...

Hi Jay27, I'm sorry to hear that people have been rude about the fact you're autistic! That can for sure make it even harder to introduce yourself into spaces, since you're also trying to work out whether people are going to be weird about your autism. I will say that, in my experience, queer spaces...

Hi Mel, So, as you pointed out, "fetish" isn't the term that applies here since those technically require an object. Kink as it's commonly used could apply, but I honestly find it more useful to refer to things as being sexual interests, preferences, or even just "likes" rather t...

Hi unr3alun3arth, In addition to all the good points Latha made, I want to add that something that can help you feel less nervous is to remember that there's no one "correct" way to have sex with another woman, nor is there another way that's the most common or most expected (the same can ...