Hi iced_Coffee,

Just checking in to see whether those resources have been helpful! Did Trans Summer School open up any new questions you might have? What was it like reading "Am I Trans Enough"?

-Amanda

Hi BuddyBoi21 - sorry for the delay! Just wanted to let you know that we've seen your messages and someone will respond soon.

Hi DEMIPAN-demic, welcome to the boards! You have some great questions. I'm going to try and answer you this evening during the rest of my shift, but in case I can't finish an answer before I have to go, I wanted to point you to an awesome series of articles: Welcome to Trans Summer School! It's jam...

Hi Crystal_River, Welcome to the boards, and happy new year! It sounds like you have some mixed feelings about what went on with your friend. First, I want to check in with you about how you felt about the sexual experience itself. You said you were "okay with it" - how are you feeling abo...

Hey sky, We've already discussed about how you don't need to feel obligated to do anything with other people. It sounds like this experience was useful in helping you see some things that you enjoyed, but that it's also causing you some stress regarding what you want/who you want/your gender. I'm go...

Hi just18someone,

Just checking in to see how you're doing. Were you able to get in touch with a therapist? What is the situation like with your (ex?) boyfriend?

-Amanda

Hi BuddyBoi21,

I wonder if you've tried some of the less-mainstream apps? There are a few out there now that specifically cater to people outside the binary/heteronormativity. There aren't nearly as many people using those apps, but it might be worth a look.

Hi BuddyBoi21, I'll just add that it's normal for everyone, regardless of genitals or hormones, to go through different phases in their libido and activities. This might feel like a frustrating or confusing time, but I'm sure it won't last forever! You're doing a great job of keeping track of when t...

Thanks for your apology to horriblegoose. That was thoughtful - good self-reflection.

So given that it's been a few days, where are you at now? What do you think would be some good stuff to do for yourself going forward?

I just want to be fine as I am..like even if I have negative thoughts or if I get out of control at times..and I'm tired of trying to "fix" what's wrong..instead of being just accepted I totally sympathize with this, having had many negative thoughts myself. Like Sam said, I don't think a...

Since you mention that this comes up a lot - that people seem to back away, regardless of your emotional investment - I want to invite you to gently take a look at your behaviors in these relationships and interactions, as well as the behaviors of people you've had them with. Could there be somethin...

My focus is always gonna be on whatever goes wrong in life... Hey larajeancovey23, I want to echo what Sam said - it sounds like you're emotionally worn out from trying to work out relationships. Although I know you said you were happier when with someone else, I wonder how long you've taken to be ...

(oops, Sam and I wrote at the same time - but I think we have similar suggestions!) Maybe bringing up your asexuality could be a good starting point, to open the door with your therapist to talking about sexuality in general. You could gauge how they respond to talking about sexuality (hopefully the...

Hi just18someone, Welcome back to the forums. I'm so sorry you went through this scary and stressful experience. I think your assessment of the situation - "early sign of abuse?" is correct, primarily because 1) your boyfriend acted aggressively (toward himself and then to you), and the 2)...

Wow! I am so impressed by you, Booksandoceans. Mature decisions all around. :) I'm so glad to hear that you've advocated for yourself, that your boyfriend is respecting your decision, and that you've found other ways to be intimate. Way to go!! Even if you don't want to have sex any time soon, you m...

I identify as a cis woman, and was very gender-neutral when I was younger. Only recently have I started to play more with traditional displays of femininity. I used to feel like femme-ness was just for the male gaze, but now I've begun to enjoy experimenting with it for myself.

Hi Booksandoceans, Way to get to know your body and your cycles! That's awesome! It's still possible for you to ovulate even without egg white cervical mucus present, though I'm not sure exactly what the probability of that would be. It might also be that there was less EWCM this time, so that it di...

Hi Malibu, and welcome to the message boards! :) I think we can help with that! Please check out this article, Lube 101: A Slick Little Primer . It tells you all about lube and also describes several options for lube that you can find at home under "Oil-based lubricants". Let us know if yo...

Hey sky, Yeah, that does make sense. It CAN be hard to acknowledge trauma and its effects on us - that's part of why trauma is so sneaky. And it's also why seeing a professional can help. They're trained to help you work through trauma, in a way that we at Scarleteen aren't, and in a kind of fully p...

Hey sky, That's really interesting, that the article hit home. More self-awareness is generally a good thing - that's how we can make the changes in our lives and about ourselves that we want. In terms of relating to the various points/behaviors, how do you think that might be influencing some of yo...

Hey sky, I would challenge you to ask yourself why you feel like anyone here is mad at you. I don't think that is reflected in the posts anyone has made (though if I've missed anything, please do point it out to me). Why do you think you are having this thought/feeling? We have set boundaries by exp...

Sky, since you mentioned that therapy is a couple of weeks away (yay for going soon!) and that reading the posts on Scarleteen can be a bit overwhelming, I want to suggest that you do a little journaling as you read some of the posts. Heather and many other staff/volunteers have taken lots of time t...

I've really been enjoying a tweet that's been making the rounds (originally by @lottydoes). Text follows: --- "losing/taking virginity" -turns sex into an object -places pressure on the decision -you don't actually lose or take anything ? "sexual debut" -exciting -all focus is on...

Hey sky, I think you'll know what we have to say to that. Your gender is valid - everyone's gender is valid! Many people identify as genderfluid and/or genderqueer (more about that here at Gender Confusion: Being Unsure Doesn't Have to Be a Bummer - the title of the article doesn't necessarily apply...

Hi helloeveryone, While there are some people out there who contribute to bisexual erasure, I'm sure there are many more good people in LGBTQ+ communities who would welcome you with open arms. Next year you might be interested in observing or participating in Bi Visibility Week . This is a week ever...