Search found 897 matches
- Wed Sep 13, 2023 1:19 pm
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
- Replies: 55
- Views: 274527
Re: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
Stuff definitely happens! It sounds like you're getting there. I think three things to get used to are 1 - sometimes we make good decisions that still upset other people and that's ok, 2 - we have permission to go back on what we have said and 3 - many of our valued relationships will end in some wa...
- Wed Sep 13, 2023 11:47 am
- Forum: Abuse & Assault
- Topic: my brain seems to "glorify" abuse
- Replies: 1
- Views: 8992
Re: my brain seems to "glorify" abuse
Hi lb07, I'm so sorry that you are having to process things from when you were 3. Thoughts like the ones you describe are actually pretty common for survivors of abuse. For some of us, putting ourselves in the position of of hypothetically wanting the fantasy version of something bad, it can feel li...
- Tue Sep 12, 2023 7:50 am
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
- Replies: 55
- Views: 274527
Re: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
I think of weathering a breakup like this (friend-break-up or otherwise) like it's raining acid (and FIRE), it's terrible, it hurts and you can run around getting hurt more, trying to convince the weather to be cool imagining you have the power to coax it - OR, you can take shelter, tend to your saf...
- Tue Sep 12, 2023 7:46 am
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
- Replies: 55
- Views: 274527
Re: my partner is ace and im not and im not sure what to do
Hi Silly! It sounds like this person is making things so much harder for you than they need to be, and I'm so sorry they left you in tears. That's so often how it goes. I want to reiterate what Heather said about trusting your self, and valuing your right to be free of the pressure they're putting y...
- Wed Aug 16, 2023 4:30 pm
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: intrusive thoughts about someone i don't want
- Replies: 1
- Views: 3512
Re: intrusive thoughts about someone i don't want
Hey Lyle, The part of your question which jumps out at me is the phrase "convince myself that this is not what i truly feel". What does that mean to you? My first thought is that it is mighty difficult/impossible to sort all our thoughts into "true feelings" or not, because at th...
Re: wet dream
Thankyou for taking it seriously. I really appreciate it. I'll let the rest of the team know what we've agreed.
It's good to hear you're working with someone too! This might be a good thing to bring up with them, espcially the bit about wanting to see things written down.
It's good to hear you're working with someone too! This might be a good thing to bring up with them, espcially the bit about wanting to see things written down.
Re: wet dream
Hi heybulldog, That is very much not cool behaviour. Lying about your experience to get different responses from us is very manipulative. Please remember that we are real people, who deserve a bit more honesty (who incedentally review previous posts whenever we reply ;)!) Getting onto the anxiety pa...
- Wed Aug 16, 2023 4:54 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: how to clean stains/safety
- Replies: 1
- Views: 2301
Re: how to clean stains/safety
It sounds like you resolved most of this on your own! In terms of whether you would be able to feel it coming out, I'd say the internal bodily feeling of ejaculating is very subjective, but I do think in most cases we tend to notice if there is liquid beneath us if it wasn't there before! In terms o...
- Wed Aug 16, 2023 4:41 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: I'm mentally aroused, but can't get my body to be aroused for sex
- Replies: 1
- Views: 3334
Re: I'm mentally aroused, but can't get my body to be aroused for sex
Hi Namelessss! Thanks for being here! Arousal non-concordance is a useful consideration when partnered sex just isn't leading to any physical pleasure, due to differring patterns of arousal between you and your partner. In those situations masturbation followed by good communication is a really usef...
- Wed Aug 16, 2023 4:15 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Masturbation Questions
- Replies: 13
- Views: 27811
Re: Masturbation Questions
Hey Lyle, just so you know, I've answered this question in your other thread.
- Wed Aug 16, 2023 4:13 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Period cramps
- Replies: 2
- Views: 2323
Re: Period cramps
Hi Lyle, The liquid you're describing is called pre-ejaculate (or precum). It usually doesn't contain sperm. Sometimes it does if you ejaculated actual sperm recently before the pre-ejaculate appeared. That is why direct genital contact always includes a small risk of causing pregnancy. But you are ...
- Wed Aug 02, 2023 9:36 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Very low cervix
- Replies: 23
- Views: 6091
Re: Very low cervix
Aw I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and that healthcare can be so slow, but I am glad your mom is helping you get that appointment. I totally agree that you don't need to do any more searching. It is difficult to accept but sometimes if we're waiting on reliable information and expertise, it c...
- Wed Aug 02, 2023 7:51 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Very low cervix
- Replies: 23
- Views: 6091
Re: Very low cervix
Hi Max! Your english is great, and I'm glad you're here! I would recommend seeing a doctor, as they can do a physical examination and can give you more information on what it is you're feeling with your knuckle. It's possible that what you've felt isn't the cervix, or that there is something else go...
- Tue Aug 01, 2023 6:42 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 914466
Re: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
(Also, my understanding of hyperfixation in ADHD (fellow diagnosee here) is that its more of a task oriented thing where we might have tasks or interests that absorb our attention very easily, when our ability to direct our attention to a preferred task or subject is at its weakest because of stress...
- Tue Aug 01, 2023 6:23 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 914466
Re: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
I'm totally nodding along to Sam's answers! When you talk about betraying your ideals I wonder if it could be useful to write a list of what you're thinking of as ideals, and ask some questions of yourself about those statements. I have a feeling that asking "Is this actually a belief?" an...
- Mon Jul 31, 2023 11:43 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: Drunk sex in media
- Replies: 3
- Views: 4864
Re: Drunk sex in media
Just to add, flamboyantGuy: in your question you say that "sex while drunk is illegal" but I think it's more accurate to say that in most countries, the rape itself is the thing that is illegal, not the being-drunk part. Which is different from say, drunk-driving for example, where you dru...
Re: worried?
Hey, As promised here's a summary of the other thread: Hi! sorry to be so active here,, i just needed to talk about this. So a few months ago, my teacher started talking to me about his personal problems (i.e. his problems with his gf and how she doesn't want to have sex w him) and it somehow escala...
- Mon Jul 31, 2023 8:18 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: my teacher groomed me (?)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 6403
Re: my teacher groomed me (?)
Hey Naurmi Just to echo Sam, I think it's worth saying that no this isn't your fault at all! We have all have a right to an education where we never have to do anything extra, like asking a teacher not to flirt with us or giving them information about our dating life. Stopping that situation from ha...
- Mon Jul 31, 2023 7:55 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: confused and anxious
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5324
Re: confused and anxious
Hi anonyminpanick! I think it's good you've recognised this as 'seeking reassurance'. Whenever that happens there's a very very high chance that the reassurance we're seeking is not the thing we need (which is probably while it feels so confusing to recieve it and want more). That's the same reason ...
- Mon Jul 31, 2023 7:03 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 914466
Re: Used to be asexual, now unsure?
Hi Namerling! Firstly I think it's worth mentioning that this is suuuuuuper common. Sexuality, in the world we live in, not to mention the forever changing nature of how we do or don't experience that sexuality, can be kinda terrifying. I don't think it has to be. There are lots of factors that make...
- Wed Jul 26, 2023 11:48 pm
- Forum: Supporting Each Other
- Topic: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore
- Replies: 4
- Views: 7592
Re: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore
Hey, I think you make a pretty good case to not have a relationship with your dad anymore! It sounds like there's money stuff with your mum which still might affect you, but not anything that would require you to actually spend time with him? With things like this, where the pushback itself feels it...
- Wed Jul 26, 2023 11:37 pm
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Nonconsent during sex...how to recover?
- Replies: 3
- Views: 637
Re: Nonconsent during sex...how to recover?
Hey Lazulirose, I think I want to add here that any hypothetical resentment he would hold for you not wanting sex would not be your responsibility at all. I also think sometimes the chemistry isn't there as much as we want it to be, and that can affect our communication and our interest in sex. So I...
Re: Cocsa TW
Hey Cursed, I'm so sorry you're going through this mental turmoil. It sounds like you've had a pretty unsteady childhood, with some rather unsvoury adults in tow, which often is going to lead to uncertainty around how to interract positively with other people and how to reflect on those events. I'll...
- Wed Jul 05, 2023 6:58 am
- Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
- Topic: Lubricant stuff
- Replies: 7
- Views: 8502
Re: Lubricant stuff
Hey anonym05! This is a slightly different approach to the suggestions above, but I'm thinking that you do get to use your discretion with instructions like "use within 3 months" if you personally don't think it looks, tastes or smells bad, and you don't want to get rid of it. But that's y...