Hey Daisy, yep, if it slips off, the condom won't be there any-more, so that will be visible. Likewise if it breaks, it will be a big split. Basically if the condom is still there and intact when you're done then you can know that it was effective. Also imperfect use refers to not putting it on corr...

Good points about potential predators 'using' kindness kabith. That is such a sad fact to add to this. I hadn't really thought about that. And with community, and trust, that's really interesting too, because a village is really and old sort of settlement... which in most places, including north ame...

This is so interesting... Casey, do you think that affects the way you feel about the intimacy you do want to be having? Or do you get to combine it? I think with puritanism, you're spot on. I feel like the English speaking world is all really affected by puritanism. Even when people aren't as relig...

I just found this excellent documentary made by an activisty film-maker friend of mine a few years ago about all the negative stuff (about the 'development tourism' industry), it also emphasises how good gap years can be: http://vimeo.com/20281526

I have to say I have a lot more of those negative associations Redskies talks about regarding gap years. But I don't think that is about gap years in general so much is it is about a specific gap-year industry which preys on people who are looking for that authentic opportunity to think a little mor...

Hey Simone! Welcome to scarleteen! I wouldn't really recommend writing off someone's personality to their star sign even if it might sometimes be useful for us to riff off those initial ideas. I know I sometimes enjoy horoscopes as light-hearted reading, but when it comes to real relationships? It p...

Hi najeeb, Having a habit of masturbating isn't a bad thing and doesn't cause any harm. That means it doesn't make you weaker or anything like that. It can feel like you don't have control when really you have mixed feelings. If you have been told masturbation harms you or makes you physically/emoti...

Hopefully you hear from them tomorrow, or you get the care you need through other more immediate means (that is up to you). Just to clarify, I took your earlier question as "Should I see a healthcare professional right now, or on Monday". I still definitely think you should see them one wa...

So recently I was in France and it was amazing (among a load of unrelated problematic stuff) how some topics seem to be treated in a healthier way. I guess the main one I noticed is just how much more accepting folks are of kindness or stuff with inherent value like art or culture. I notice that oft...

Hi ICantThink, Thankfully I wouldn't say that was TMI. So long as we stick to proper relevant language we should be fine with that. I think the key to this is really the point that our minds play a massive part in our sexual pleasure. When we are with a partner who turns us on, with whom being close...

Hi Moya, From what I understand (I can't see any of your previous posts, is this a 2nd username?)... this does sound like it was a pretty heavy withdrawal bleed. In terms of whether this is or isn't an emergency I would say that an appointment as soon as Monday would be fine, even more so as it has ...

Hi hottersadness, I think for me the most positive thing here is what you say in parenthesis, which is your desire to work on confidence. Really that kind of work, be it with professionals or through your own reading, is the real stuff of personal growth and building the life and relationships which...

I can so relate... especially when I'm away from supportive contact. Far from feeling like I'm a 'forward thinker', it is really common for family, acquaintances and more recently work colleagues to have me feel like I'm just making life hard for others, being awkward, reckless and overcomplicating ...

Hey great topic! I started writing this thinking you meant books that informed self-care instead of what you really meant, i.e. books read for the purpose of self care. Anyhow this is what I started saying: This is an odd suggestion from me, because frankly I completely disagreed with the politics o...

Hi Innocent welcome to scarleteen! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time of this, you're not alone... after all, issues like this are why we exist here. It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure to do sexual/romantic acts and to enjoy them. As a minimum this alone is going to get i...

I am actually a relatively big fan of sexting for myself, and as a teen did a lot of cybersex which was great (and some fine creative writing practise!) But now I have really felt like I've had to curb that part of my sexuality... because as far as I can see, most employers and/or the general public...

Yeah I think for me it's also non-parents.

I'm comfortable with partners and close friends. I do find that acquaintances outside of that can be more judgemental (or I might fear that they are before finding out otherwise) which does feel less comfortable.

Hi Fiercegiraffe, Actually I don't think there is anything in your behaviour here to be embarassed about or sorry for. It sounds like you have had a really tough time, especially relocating away from friends. Often friends are our support network and it sounds like you had some good ones. Rather tha...

Hi cupcakegirl94, Firstly welcome to scarleteen. With effectiveness, that hour or so variation shouldn't really make a difference. It is best for routine and certainty to keep to the same time. But they should be effective when taken every day during the same few hours. Secondly, numbers are imperfe...

Oh stephanie you got there before me! 'Don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more. ' I actually quit using love to describe romantic relationship things a few years go, just to make things easier for myself. Now I might talk about wants, and how someone makes me feel and so on, much more. I think actua...

I feel like I really need 1 on 1 time with close friends... group friendships are fun but I feel the absolute best when we go for dinner or watch movies together. This is a great thread! I think going for a walk or a cycle is always my favourite. I went to my friend's home town last month and we spe...

Hey folks! So, if you guys realise that you are unhappy with a certain political (or organisational: like your school or workplace) issue, how much power do you feel like you have to change things? Because it is one thing to notice injustice, but it's another thing to feel motivated to make a change...