That sounds like a really hard combination of emotions to be struggling under. I do think this ultimately brings us back to you using therapy to address those big, negative feelings about yourself. Have your sessions been going okay?

Hi Notshure21, In addition to what Latha said, I want to ask: what are the conversations and interactions like that lead you to having sex? Does he seem uninterested when you ask? If so, how do things go from one person being uninterested to two people having sex? Too, it may be helpful to know that...

Hi PomPom, Would it be helpful to focus on whether or not you want to try out this relationship if it goes in a dating direction, rather than on what this all does, or does not, mean about your sexual orientation? After all, the language we use around orientation is meant to describe our feelings an...

So, a lot of sex-negative thinking comes from "I think this is gross/weird/etc, which means it is objectively bad." But the reality is, the majority of the time, what that reaction is telling us is that a given sexual thing isn't something we want for ourselves. So it's important to separa...

Queer nurse Sarah Kiser is back to talk about how to manage pain that might happen with IUD insertion.

Hi Mika, So, I think it's a good thing that you're recognizing your reaction to things like sex work (that's the preferred term) are more about your own feelings than they are anything to do with those activities being bad or wrong. If you're looking for some starting places on learning how to adopt...

You're welcome!

My suggestion would be to start by basically checking that feeling against the evidence, such as reading up on what the signs of a toxic partner generally are and then checking them against your own behavior. This is especially important if you're someone who deals with anxiety or related issues, wh...

I think your last sentence is spot on: a few days variation is really, really, really common for most menstrual cycles, so what you're experiencing is, in all likelihood, that fluctuation. If you haven't read it before, I really like how this article explains period timing: On the Rag: A Guide to Me...

Hi catdog_067, I want to start by saying that I'm so sorry other people in your life chose to assault you, and that I'm glad to know that you're already seeking therapy so you can get additional support around this. Here's the tricky thing: if you did in fact perpetrate assault on your sibling, that...

Hi Felismisc, It's hard to say for certain what this is, since we're not healthcare providers who can examine it. Given that you've had this as long as you can remember, it may just be how your genitals are shaped (for instance, maybe it's a feature of your inner labia). If you want a definitive ans...

Hi Imjusthere,

From what you're describing, it sounds like you might have ejaculated. If you read through this article, does this sound like what you experienced? Squirt: On Ejaculation

Hi seuniemonki, Given the timing you described, I think it's pretty safe to assume that you got the sore throat from kissing him and picking up his cold (you may have also simply gotten it from being close to him while he was sick). That being said, if the thought of getting an infection from oral s...

Hi thechemicaleyes, There are a lot of things to touch on here, but I want to start with this one: I suggest heavily pumping the breaks on moving in with this guy, because he is showing several red flags that give me pause, and which his immaturity around your body, and vulvas in general are one par...

The newest piece in Lisa Laman's series on autism and dating! https://www.scarleteen.com/read/feeling ... self-about

Got it, in that case I'd say this is just normal variation in discharge, rather than cause for concern.

Hi Maroonteen, In addition to everything Latha said, it sounds like you may have possibly witnessed sexual abuse? I ask because you mention your sisters being abused as separate from the domestic violence you all survived. Too, have you and they ever spoken about what happened, or tried to support e...

Those both sound like good next steps. Too, a good way to avoid situations like this in the future is to have these conversations with a potential partner before anything sexual happens. If you need any information on how to do that, that's something we can help with.

Hi ayle1257,

So, as we say in our user guidelines, one of the things we're not able to help with is conception advice. Those kinds of conversations need to be had to with an OB-GYN, midwife, fertility specialist, or other healthcare provider who can help you determine what might be going on.

It's totally okay to have lots of questions! What I hear you describing here sounds more like curiosity than something that's a problem. You're in the midst of realizing some things about your sexuality, and part of that often involves imagining ourselves in those different relationship scenarios an...

Hi MistahCFS, I think you're right that the noises people make during sex are really varied! Too, sometimes whether or not someone makes noise during sex is determined by things other than just their response to what's going on; for example, someone in a dorm room might deliberately keep a lid on an...

Hi naurmi008,

That's likely just some normal variation in your discharge. But I do want to check, has that change in discharge been accompanied by a new, very strong smell, or any symptoms like pain during urination?

Got it! So, I think it might be helpful to apply the logic in that last sentence to feeling arousal. While it's not quite as universal as hunger, I'd say the vast majority of people experience it. Experiencing it isn't a sign you're doing something wrong, it's more just an indicator that you're havi...

You're very welcome, I'm glad we were able to help!

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry you went through that, and I can absolutely see how that kind of trauma would make you wary of ever seeking medical care again. Have you ever received any kind of counseling or other support around what happened?