Hi reidobviouslyy, When you compare what you see in the diagrams or photos of the external genitals against your own with a mirror, what does the region where the clitoris is look like? As Kier said , they can have the same variation in size and shape as the rest of our genitals, so what's likely ha...

Hi Ri, The boards are indeed publicly visible; that's why we note in the user agreement and elsewhere on the site that when folks are signing up here, it's best that they choose a username that's a pseudonym in some way. It does sound like the tears are likely coming from one or more of the things K...

Hi AnneGG, It does sound like your sexual orientation is some form of queer, though the exact term to apply is up to you and how your feelings line up with the different orientations that are out there (or if you even want to use a term at all). How you choose to describe your own feelings is entire...

Hi angelsswings, From what you're describing, this fits with the kind of sexual experimentation and curiosity we know young children can and do engage in. I'm not hearing you describe any force or coercion, and it sounds like your motivation for this was curiosity rather than your own gratification....

You're very welcome, and I'm glad it was helpful!

You're welcome! So, what exactly happens at a sexual health exam depends a bit on why you've gone, and on the conversation you have with the healthcare provider once you're there. Usually they'll ask you some questions to help determine if you're sexually active, if you need STI testing, if you want...

Okay! In that case, it often makes the most sense to invite the person to spend time with you, or with a group of your friends. You can pick something pretty casual and low stakes so that, and figure that if they're not interested, then you have your answer.

Hi WhatMightBe, So, given that there's a decent amount of variation in how the vaginal corona (that's the technical name for the hymen) looks, the fact you had what the doctor considered a "small" opening may not automatically be the cause of the issues you're having (I'm also a little ske...

Hi 1&only, So, while this may not be the most comfortable thing in the world, this is one of those instances where things like finding a comfortable position can be really helpful. Looking up ones recommended for inserting tampons might be the way to go, since those are similar in size to a lot ...

Hi Ms. Candy, When you think about getting to know this person and potentially dating him, do you feel like you'd prefer to take the route where you get to know him and maybe be his friend first and then reevaluate to see if you still want to date him? Or do you like the idea of just going straight ...

Hi anonym05, I'm glad to hear that the vibrator has been an overall enjoyable thing to add into masturbation! I will say that I'm not super surprised to hear that inserting it isn't as interesting as you hoped; the vaginal canal isn't all that sensitive, especially since past the first third of it. ...

Hi Nat, There's not really one technique that's guaranteed to work, since our bodies will each respond to things a bit differently. One thing I will say is that if you have a penis, the average amount of time from the start of direct, genital stimulation to ejaculation is less than three minutes (th...

Hi AlwaysLearning, I do want to correct what was written above a bit: ejaculation on a body that isn't the genitals is not going to pose a risk of pregnancy, period. Even if sperm managed to be washed down to the genitals (which would already be quite a feat), it's not going to survive the trip there.

Hi Lyle Lanley, If you've had traumatic experiences with men, or you've found that being physical with men in the past has left you feeling pretty crummy, then I can see why you feel like pursuing a relationship with men as a category isn't for you. Even though dating a specific man doesn't automati...

What things do you wish were different?

I'm glad therapy is going well, and that you're realizing it's okay to have some help when you're struggling with various issues!

When you say you want to change how your partner is in your relationship, do you mean you want to change a particular dynamic between the two of you?

That sounds like a really hard combination of emotions to be struggling under. I do think this ultimately brings us back to you using therapy to address those big, negative feelings about yourself. Have your sessions been going okay?

Hi Notshure21, In addition to what Latha said, I want to ask: what are the conversations and interactions like that lead you to having sex? Does he seem uninterested when you ask? If so, how do things go from one person being uninterested to two people having sex? Too, it may be helpful to know that...

Hi PomPom, Would it be helpful to focus on whether or not you want to try out this relationship if it goes in a dating direction, rather than on what this all does, or does not, mean about your sexual orientation? After all, the language we use around orientation is meant to describe our feelings an...

So, a lot of sex-negative thinking comes from "I think this is gross/weird/etc, which means it is objectively bad." But the reality is, the majority of the time, what that reaction is telling us is that a given sexual thing isn't something we want for ourselves. So it's important to separa...

Queer nurse Sarah Kiser is back to talk about how to manage pain that might happen with IUD insertion.

Hi Mika, So, I think it's a good thing that you're recognizing your reaction to things like sex work (that's the preferred term) are more about your own feelings than they are anything to do with those activities being bad or wrong. If you're looking for some starting places on learning how to adopt...

You're welcome!

My suggestion would be to start by basically checking that feeling against the evidence, such as reading up on what the signs of a toxic partner generally are and then checking them against your own behavior. This is especially important if you're someone who deals with anxiety or related issues, wh...

I think your last sentence is spot on: a few days variation is really, really, really common for most menstrual cycles, so what you're experiencing is, in all likelihood, that fluctuation. If you haven't read it before, I really like how this article explains period timing: On the Rag: A Guide to Me...