You're very welcome!

You know, if you're both having a lot of anxiety around this, then it would be sound to take a step back from sexual activity and only do sexual things where you both feel completely informed on what the risks actually are and comfortable with with the level of risk involved.

Hi Brian, There is not a risk of pregnancy in this scenario. Sperm are fragile and need specific conditions in order to potentially co-create a pregnancy, and they just aren't going to survive the transfer from penis to hand to vagina, let alone if there are more stops along the way or if you wiped ...

Ah, okay, I think I misunderstood, thank you for clarifying. So, it is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone who's your friend. Some people may make that a more casual arrangement (that's what the term "friends with benefits" refers to), while to others having a friend they w...

Hi Mika, I think that would also be a helpful thing to communicate to her if you choose to talk to her about this; that is, that you like being her friend and your friendship is important to you. But I also think that if you feel like your sexual interest in her is fading or isn't that strong, it ma...

Hi Skybushh, I think this goes back to the issue of their being some deeper things around mental health, self-worth, and negative self talk that are best addressed with a therapist. In your sessions with them, have the two of you ever discussed specific things to do or try when you notice negative s...

Hi Azulin, You know, from the sound of it, it seems like masturbation is enjoyable for you even if how your body responds to touch during it is a bit different than you expected it to be. If so, my suggestion would be just to accept that that's how your body reacts, rather than trying to troubleshoo...

Hi blckholesun89, I want to start by saying that, ultimately, you get to be the boss of how you refer to what happened, or to yourself. We're each the expert on our own experiences and our feelings about those experiences, and that includes whether or not we feel ready or comfortable calling them by...

Hi GenuineL, So, the thing to keep in mind with those comments you're hearing from guys is that they're not based in any real understanding of how the vaginal canal actually works . It's a muscle, when we put something inside of it, it constricts to hold what is inside of it. When we remove whatever...

Hi Stone, I'm glad we were able to offer you support, and that you still feel safe overall in your community! One thing I do want to say is that, unfortunately,I think there's a good chance this will be a repeat behavior from him. I say that for a few reasons. One is that he already seems to have a ...

I want to add that, for future reference, this is a really good overview of what does, and does not, interfere with hormonal birth control: Something You Can Worry About Less: Interference and Hormonal Birth Control (you'll notice Okra is not included on that list).

Hi Stone, In addition to what Caitlineve said, I want to suggest that going forward, this is someone you want to avoid sharing a space with where you and he are alone or where there isn't adult supervision. He seems to use those situations as places where he tries to manipulate or otherwise get peop...

That's a really, really common way to feel after a break-up (or, honestly, after any big life change that leaves us feeling sad or upset). But, as cliche as it is, there's a lot of truth in the idea that time goes a long way towards these things hurting less; it may not happen as fast as we'd like, ...

Hi naurmi, I'm sorry, break-ups are seldom easy, even if they were mutually agreed on and ultimately for the best. And if you've been dating someone awhile, it can be really, really disorienting to have them no longer be a part of your life. If you haven't already read it, I really like this piece o...

Okay! Here are a few different starting places. Some of them are more resource round-ups with suggestions of workbooks and similar you could look into using, and some are collections of different exercises and techniques to help you address OCD thought patterns: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/d...

Shiny new advice from Heather! I want to have sex with my boyfriend but I can't enjoy it

Yes, as I said in my initial answer, as long as there is at least one layer of clothing present, pregnancy cannot occur. As you may have noticed in other posts, the reason we don't want to go in circles with users when talking about pregnancy risk is that offering that reassurance over and over agai...

Got it, thank you for clarifying. And no, there is no chance of pregnancy from this. It may help to read more about what IS needed for pregnancy to occur: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide . If you two are still feeling nervous about this, your next step would be to go through this guide we wro...

Hi Kanu, As long as there is at least one layer of clothing between genitals, pregnancy cannot occur. So, there was no risk in this instance. Too, ejaculation is generally something we can feel and see, so you would have known if you ejaculated onto her underwear (that would not change the risk, but...

Hi CasWasHere, Ooof, if you've been having a run of health issues, I can see why noticing something unfamiliar going on with your breast would lead you straight to "great, something else is going wrong!" Since it's gone away and you're not noticing other symptoms, I agree that it's unlikel...

That's correct! If you think about the base of a condom, the ring there takes at least a little force to be able to stretch open, and pubic hair just can't apply that kind of force.

Hi avocadomorning, I'm sorry that this situation is causing you so much stress. Since it's a similar situation to the one at the start of this post, does the advice Sofi or myself gave previously offer any help? Too, if it's an option, you could also ask the person you had sex with if she knows her ...

Hi Laayiv,

I would say that the general understanding is closer to the first thing you said. That when someone is experiencing sexual attraction, they're noticing that seeing or being around a person is making them feel arousal. That may or may not include the desire to actually act on that arousal.

Hi nathhriviera, Nope, contact with pubic hair is not going to cause a tear in a condom. If it did pose that risk, that'd be a pretty big design flaw for something that comes into contact with pubic hair at every use. More than that, condoms are designed to hold up to quite a bit of friction and str...

A new, wonderful piece by guest writer Sarah Biette: Fat Bodies: Learning to Care for Your Rolls and Folds

Hi reidobviouslyy, When you compare what you see in the diagrams or photos of the external genitals against your own with a mirror, what does the region where the clitoris is look like? As Kier said , they can have the same variation in size and shape as the rest of our genitals, so what's likely ha...