Hi Yohanz, You can find the answer to that in the piece Kier linked you. Too, I think this piece will provide important, additional information: Can people with no sexual experience have an STI? I do think that, going forward, it would be sound for you and your girlfriend to read up on and talk abou...

Hi Demigirl, In addition to what Latha said, I want to add a few other points that might help. One is that it's not inherently nonbinaryphobic to point out that the experiences of a non-binary person and a trans woman might be different in some ways if we're talking about a specific nonbinary person...

Hi Sour_Snakes, This is tricky, because while assault intense enough to leave bruises would usually be something it was unlikely to sleep through, if you take medication to help you sleep, depending on what you take there is a chance that you didn't wake up when you otherwise would have. To me, that...

You're very welcome, I'm glad my reply was helpful! It's great that you have a therapist you're working with, and I absolutely understand how something like assault can be painful or difficult to bring up in therapy, even if we have a pretty good relationship with our therapist overall. If it would ...

Hi Archer, In addition to all the really good advice Kier gave above, I want to ask if you've had a chance to read the safety plan yet. Are there steps in the "safety before you leave: getting help and support from others" section that you're already doing? If not, are there one or two tha...

Got it, I'm glad he at least has you as someone who can help him get support and information! Would he be comfortable contacting a local rape crisis center or similar resource if we could find him one? They could offer him support with some degree on anonymity, and could also help him navigate his p...

Hi Sunreis, So, with the caveat that there are plenty of ace folks who are also survivors of sexual assault, I will say that it does sound like the assault and its fallout are playing a big role here; it sounds like you are interested in sex and experiencing sexual desire, but that when you think ab...

So, the tricky thing is, while we can certainly offer information and context to help you work out what, if any, word you want to use to describe your sexual orientation, you're ultimately the expert on it and get to decide how you describe it. I think a good starting place would be to read through ...

Got it. I do think it's worth looking into the other resources she could refer you to, including other therapists, to see if some have a sliding scale or are otherwise affordable; when we're dealing with something like depression, it's common to have periods of time where it doesn't feel as severe o...

So, even if we're close to someone, they still need to check with us before doing something sexual with us; even when we're dating someone, we still have to ask before doing something sexual (and if they're just sitting or laying there rather than actively, positively engaged in what's happening, we...

You're welcome! Did she happen to say why any of the services she could refer you to for individual therapy were not free like she is? Or is there something specific about her that allows her not to charge for clients? Regardless, if she ends up not being able to refer you to someone free or low cos...

Okay! So, if this is the same therapist who initially brought up the idea that you might be dealing with depression, I would say something like "you mentioned you think I might have depression, can we talk more about that, and can we focus our sessions on how I could learn to manage it?" I...

Hi ellieww,

So, while we can certainly talk about how people come to understand their sexual orientation, I want to check first: was this interaction with your friend something you consented to? Or is this something she did without checking with you first?

That's a tricky one, because the only way to know if a person is a potentially a good partner for us (or a good friend, for that matter) is to interact with them and see how we get along. But it can also help to know that having those interactions where we get to know people is a skill, and like any...

Hi PomPom, In a previous post, you mentioned you've been seeing a psychologist who suggested you might have a depression diagnosis. If you're still seeing that person, I think it's time to have a more in-depth talk about that diagnosis and what steps you can take to manage it. I say that because wha...

Absolutely. Are you able to tell me if that force was in the course of an assault? Or something else?

This is a really good starting place for anxiety related resources! Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources . Too, if you decide you want to look into more formal support like therapy, we can help you figure out how to start that process. If you could snap your fingers and make it happen, what thi...

If sex isn't appealing at all right now, then I agree that taking a break is a good choice to make. It also gives you the chance to explore other forms of intimacy with your partner, since there are lots of ways of having intimate interactions that have nothing to do with sex (this article goes into...

Got it. If this is something that happens in multiple areas of your life, then it might be worth it to find some resources and support around anxiety, including possibly talking with a therapist; when we have a pattern of overthinking lots of things to the point of paralysis, that can sometimes indi...

Oof, that sounds really exhausting and frustrating! Do you find you're generally prone to overthinking about everything (or nearly everything)? Just in social situations? Or is it a thing that happens to you solely when it comes to dating?

Hi TaylorJames, My recommendations would actually be these two pieces on communicating with your partner and figuring out what activities both people are excited to try and which ones are off limits: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist , Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Tal...

Hi robotgirl210, I want to start by saying that, while it can feel very much like you're "behind" other people when it comes to sex and dating, the reality is that plenty of people reach their twenties without having had any dating experience. In fact, it's such a common occurrence that we...

Hi PomPom, I want to link something Heather talked about above to something I mentioned in a previous conversation you had here on the boards. That is, how about taking the question of what your orientation might be completely out of the equation and focusing instead on if and how you want to procee...

Hi Jax-in-the-box, So, while there are conditions like vaginismus where painful insertion of anything into the vaginal canal is a symptom, right now it sounds more like your friend is having a really common experience, which is that if we're not aroused or relaxed, inserting things into the vaginal ...

Hi 4639449, Thank you for moving this over from text, I do think this a better fit in terms of our direct services as a place to have this conversation! So, while "normal" isn't a super helpful concept when it comes to sex (because our experiences and sexualities are so varied), I will say...