Search found 7385 matches

by Heather
Thu May 26, 2022 12:59 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can't Stay Hard During PIV Sex
Replies: 5
Views: 54

Re: Can't Stay Hard During PIV Sex

I was going to say what your girlfriend did! If you have no desire to do a sexual thing, it’s no wonder your body isn’t cooperating when you try and do it anyway. We often can’t expect our bodies to do something our minds don’t want to, especially with body parts like genitals that are so tied to ou...
by Heather
Sun May 22, 2022 9:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?
Replies: 3
Views: 158

Re: Has seeing fetish material from a young age done me harm?

You know, I think that it absolutely makes sense to have wanted to have been introduced to something in a way you chose and fully consented to -- to come to this from your own curiosity and desire to find out, not the way you did -- but still connect to and like that thing. This is super-valid, and ...
by Heather
Fri May 20, 2022 7:58 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is there something wrong with me
Replies: 7
Views: 273

Re: Is there something wrong with me

Hi, Opal. It sounds like this might just be something where you're just not there yet in terms of discovering what it is that gets you turned on. It's just not something we can force, and when and if someone gets to the time in their development when those things and feelings start to reveal themsel...
by Heather
Tue May 17, 2022 11:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling satisfied
Replies: 5
Views: 108

Re: Feeling satisfied

You're welcome. Really, figuring out what to add is about experimenting and exploring, just like you did learning to masturbate with just your genitals, you just probably don't remember a lot of that experimentation process because much of it is potentially far behind you. You just try things, see h...
by Heather
Tue May 17, 2022 10:21 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Really confused about myself
Replies: 46
Views: 13822

Re: Really confused about myself

Thanks so much for this! We always really appreciate these kinds of posts. Makes our whole day. <3
by Heather
Tue May 17, 2022 10:20 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling satisfied
Replies: 5
Views: 108

Re: Feeling satisfied

Hey there. Often, making masturbation more interesting or exciting has more to do with what's in our heads than what we do with our hands (or anything else). In other words, a lot of this comes down to our attitude about it as well as what else is in our heads before and during masturbation. Kink an...
by Heather
Wed May 11, 2022 2:00 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Figuring Out Polyam/Non-Monog Identity While Single?
Replies: 17
Views: 613

Re: Figuring Out Polyam/Non-Monog Identity While Single?

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with feeling rejected. Some of my favorite advice around rejection is actually in an article written by someone whose preschool teacher I was way back when: What's in a No? Let me know how that lands for you, and we can pick up from there if you like. IMHO, right now...
by Heather
Wed May 11, 2022 1:51 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?
Replies: 16
Views: 575

Re: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?

Sorry that first attempt didn't go so well. How about we check in again after you try this approach?
by Heather
Wed May 11, 2022 1:50 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: sex drive
Replies: 1
Views: 130

Re: sex drive

Hey there, welcome to the boards. You know, one of the things more modern and progressive sex educators advise when it comes to thinking about desire is to lose the term "sex drive" altogether. That's for a few reasons, but the biggie is that that framework often suggests that everyone jus...
by Heather
Wed May 11, 2022 9:34 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Figuring Out Polyam/Non-Monog Identity While Single?
Replies: 17
Views: 613

Re: Figuring Out Polyam/Non-Monog Identity While Single?

Hey there, buddyboi. I see that you're engaged with Mo around this, but they won't be back in until Friday. If you want to keep talking about this in the interim, I'm happy to do it with you, but wanted to check in that that's something you wanted first.
by Heather
Wed May 11, 2022 9:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?
Replies: 16
Views: 575

Re: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?

Hey there. I wonder: have you had a conversation about these concerns with your partner? If not, I think that that would be a good next step. You can initiate that conversation with something like, "I came into our relationship uneducated about warning signs for, and general information about, ...
by Heather
Tue May 10, 2022 12:50 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Help with masturbation shame and smell?
Replies: 1
Views: 148

Re: Help with masturbation shame and smell?

Hey there, cranberry. Welcome to the boards. Thanks for trusting us with this. Let's see what we can do to help you out. <3 I'm not sure that we can presume that whatever your Mom is smelling is about your masturbation specifically, even though there appears to be a correlation. Do you feel like you...
by Heather
Tue May 10, 2022 12:44 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: …hey
Replies: 3
Views: 212

Re: …hey

Hey there, Sky. I think I'm caught up with all that's gone on with you that you've shared with staff in the text service and now the boards. But by all means, let me know as we talk if I've missed or misunderstood anything, okay? Obviously (well, I hope it's obvious), the previous therapist that sai...
by Heather
Sun May 08, 2022 1:52 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Vaginal discharge dries crustily during masturbation
Replies: 3
Views: 4522

Re: Vaginal discharge dries crustily during masturbation

You know, body fluid and/or skin crusties are something we all have to one degree or another in various places: in our eyes after sleep, from our noses or in the corners of our mouths, in our hears, sometimes on any of the skin of our bodies. And yep, on and around our genitals. I think that sometim...
by Heather
Wed Apr 06, 2022 2:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Depo Shot
Replies: 7
Views: 406

Re: Depo Shot

Yep, that is what would happen. And per the second question, pretty much! Again, I'd defer to the provider you see for the shot about the timing.
by Heather
Tue Apr 05, 2022 1:28 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: distrust
Replies: 8
Views: 258

Re: distrust

You're not wrong. It also isn't surprising to me that you didn't tell him this given that he has not been supportive of you using toys before. You're right that it isn't fair for any partner to tell a partner they don't like them using toys. It could be okay for someone to say, for example, that it ...
by Heather
Tue Apr 05, 2022 12:00 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never enough lube?
Replies: 4
Views: 510

Re: Never enough lube?

Hey there: this isn't at all unusual for people using T. (And yeah, glass toys will tend to be kinder because of less friction.) What your PCP may -- and I'd say should -- advise is that you also use some vaginal/vulval local-only estrogen. That will usually help with genital dryness that tends to h...
by Heather
Wed Mar 30, 2022 9:24 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: My sexuality is not a political football
Replies: 18
Views: 836

Re: My sexuality is not a political football

Hey there. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. This is terrible and completely discriminatory. Before I say anything else, I'd like to ask you to please refrain from using the word "moron" as a slur here. Moron -- and other words like it, like idiot, for example -- is, intended thi...
by Heather
Sun Mar 27, 2022 12:36 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help with oral sex
Replies: 1
Views: 274

Re: Help with oral sex

Hey, jellycat. Welcome to the boards. I'm happy to try and help you with this. I think the first step here is to just talk to your partner and communicate with her. You can tell her you feel intimidated, you can tell her your responses were not about anything being wrong with her, and you can also t...
by Heather
Sun Mar 27, 2022 9:18 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Over reacting?
Replies: 1
Views: 188

Re: Over reacting?

Hi there, aven. Generally, if someone is thinking like you are, chances are awfully good abuse is what has occurred. But I'm happy to talk through this with you if you like, however you'd like to do it. You can also start with a basic overview of what abuse is like this one: Blinders Off: Getting a ...
by Heather
Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:44 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: How to Talk About Violence Here
Replies: 0
Views: 226

How to Talk About Violence Here

Hey, everyone. We've been having a slowly growing issue with some users in our direct services talking about violence in a very cavalier or casual way. That's not something that we can have in our space if it's to be somewhere both users and staff can feel comfortable and safe. Many of us -- both st...
by Heather
Mon Mar 21, 2022 11:13 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 288
Views: 26711

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hey there, Sky. I see the posts in moderation from you, but we'll need you to check your email for information from our manager about current limits/asks when it comes to your use of our services here. Rachel sent you some communication about that about a week ago. Thanks. <3
by Heather
Wed Mar 09, 2022 11:20 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: lover/partner troubles
Replies: 3
Views: 583

Re: lover/partner troubles

Thanks for filling me in some more. I trust your judgement: you know him and your relationship. I only know what you've told me here. I also trust you to know your own feelings. I think with the thing about being drunk is that, from both a legal and, more importantly, IMO, practical standpoint, &quo...
by Heather
Wed Mar 09, 2022 10:42 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Squirting or Peeing
Replies: 1
Views: 1228

Re: Squirting or Peeing

You know, it's truly impossible to ever have an answer for this. The only way you or I could be sure was if this fluid had been examined in a lab. That said, ejaculate is understood to have some urine in it, and some of the same organs are involved. So, getting hung up on whether it's ejaculate or p...
by Heather
Wed Mar 09, 2022 10:39 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Why does sex hurt so much after two years?
Replies: 1
Views: 388

Re: Why does sex hurt so much after two years?

Hi there, and welcome to the boards. <3 So, vaginas don't shrink when they aren't engaged in sex. That's not a thing that happens. There are an array of things, however, that can happen and that might have been the case here: • It sounds like this person was hasty with intercourse. Moving too fast w...

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