I have a packer that I want to use to masturbate, since it's the only thing I have that's supposed to be my penis.

I mean, masturbating with my male genetailia because that's what feels satisfactory for my sex drive right now. I can't figure out how to fully enjoy it like I do when I masturbate with my female genetailia.

Given my gender fluidity, I've been feeling more male recently, but my body is female. I'd like to try masturbating and satisfying my male side but I'm not sure how. I have a packer but I think my parents would notice if I stole a bottle of lotion from the bathroom and it seems kinda gross anyway.