Heather Corinna

I get the impression that some, if not many of of our users think that condom failure rates are the same as condom breakage/slippage rates. In other words, think that when we explain that in typical use, condoms are 85% effective, that means that 15% of condoms break. It doesn’t: that is NOT what those rates mean. I hate for anyone to be presuming it is and to panic about a potential pregnancy via condom use because of that misunderstanding.

I don’t think that how we feel emotionally is ever about a matter of rights. We cannot control what we feel, after all: we can only control how we process, hold, express and manage our feelings. You feel upset: whether or not you or anyone else thinks you have a right to have those feelings, there…

You’ve probably heard or thought some things about condom use that might be keeping you or others from using them or from using them consistently, and I’m willing to bet you haven’t heard everything I’m about to say. Even if you’re already using condoms and using them every single time properly, I bet you know someone – a sibling, a friend, a sexual partner – who could stand to hear ten great reasons to use condoms.

That’s the verbatim response to the question “What if I want to have sex before I get married?” in “No Second Chance,” a film that is part of Sex Respect, an abstinence-only program. This particular message in the video, that sex (and only sex outside of heterosexual marriage) equals death is a common thread in many, if not most, abstinence-only curricula and programs. I figured it was high time we just unpack it, take a good look at the real deal, and be done with it.

I don’t think it’s very realistic to expect most of us to feel the exact same way, or “equally,” about all men, all women or all people whose gender is outside of that binary. I’m not even sure, I have to say, what feeling “equally” about people, period, would be. People are so radically different…

I’m so sorry you had to experience a rape. But I’m glad you survived it and very glad you feel able to ask for help and support. The vagina can’t really be “broken.” A person with a vagina can sustain injuries to their genitals – via rape, consensual sex, intentional genital mutilation, childbirth…

There is little in the world that varies as much as human sexuality does. So, even when we have a couple common variables – let’s say all 18 or 19-year-old women: both an age and a single sex or gender there – we are still going to see a huge variety within that group based on all the other…

“Birth control” or “contraception” simply means any number of methods a person may or does use in order to try to prevent pregnancy. So, condoms are birth control. The pill is birth control. IUDs are birth control. The Depo-Provera shot is birth control. Withdrawal is birth control. If you choose…

My hat’s off to you for being so thoughtful about the readiness of your partner. Too many people not as concerned as they should be about a partner’s readiness, and people are often particularly prone to presume male partners are always ready: that if men want sex, it’s all go, with no need to…

I’m writing this because someone told you that you can’t understand or experience love at your age. If no one did yet, they probably will soon enough. I’m writing to tell you that if you’ve heard that, I just don’t think it’s true.