Heather Corinna

I thought someone who’d be perfect to answer your questions is one of my favorite young sexual health educators, the marvelous Joanna Dawson, MPH, Teen Health Educator at United Action for Youth. She had some great information and helps for you! Joanna said: To start, good on you and your partner…

yougivemefever’s question continued: My boyfriend was hesitant to try to please me in the first place because he’s inexperienced and gets frustrated. He gets upset he can’t reciprocate. I don’t expect him to just know what I like. I should be comfortable enough with my body to be able to show him…

I thought that your question was a great opportunity for some peer-to-peer education. So, I asked Arianna, an awesome Scarleteen reader your age who always seems to do a great job getting to the heart of things, if she’d help you out. She was happy to do so, and gave you some great advice, resources…

Because you don’t want to have any kind of sex or a given kind of sex now, in a given relationship, or don’t feel ready now or in this relationship does not mean you won’t ever. There are many, many kinds of sex – not just intercourse, and sex also includes masturbation, having sex by ourselves…

I understand why you’re feeling heartbroken. I’m so sorry this is how things have been going for you and that you’re hurting so much. I strongly doubt you were stupid, and I want to remind you that this isn’t something you did by yourself: both of you chose to add sex to your relationship, not just…

As it is on the road, being attentive to and giving clear signs and signals is a big deal between the sheets. If navigating consent feels complicated or confusing, here’s a guide to clear it up.

Anyone who knows me or who knows anything about me usually knows that my pre-teen and teen years were incredibly difficult. I dealt with neglect and abuse in my family, starting from about the time I was 10. I was sexually assaulted twice before I even became a teenager. I was queer. I was suicidal and was a self-injurer. I struggled to find safe shelter sometimes. Few people seemed to notice, even though after I gave up trying to use my words, I still used my eyes to try and tell them constantly. I’m 40 now, and in a whole lot of ways, I felt older at 16 than I feel now. Some days, I am truly gobsmacked that I survived at all, let alone with my heart and mind intact and rich. A lot of why I survived is about having gotten support.

There is a lot to unpack here, but I first want to make sure we’re on the same page with some basics, particularly since my sense is you don’t have an answer to this because you’re not asking yourself the right questions. You’re saying you can’t have an orgasm from sex, but want to. But you’re also…

How can you separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to sex educators, sex education services and online sexuality spaces for young people online? We walk you through it so you can be more sure that wherever you’re talking, you’re getting good information in a space that’s safe for you.

From what I tend to observe, when someone like you is worried about what you’ll say exerting sexual pressure, but is coming from the wonderful, thoughtful kind of place that you are, these worries are often displaced. In other words, I’d say it’s highly likely that with how you feel about this…