Me or Him?
Me or Him?
I've been with my boyfriend for four years, all throughout high school. I lost my virginity to him freshmen year and after that didn't have sex for three years. I didn't feel comfortable and he understood and supported me. Lately before our senior prom we started to have sex regularly and I thought I was ready and we focused safe sex and he always uses a condom but it's the same thing every month... I worry about a possible pregnancy and even convince myself I might be, which at first he was supportive and kind but now I think that he finds it annoying, which of course I can understand but I cannot help. It's not that I don't want it and I do enjoy it but then after when I'm alone I feel guilty and paranoid or even depressed. Is this normal? Do you have any advice of the issue?
-
marianthe
- not a newbie
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 11:53 am
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: skagit valley WA/miami valley OH
Re: Me or Him?
Hey Steph!
I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Even though you understand that you are being safe and protected, that doesn't mean that your boyfriend doesn't need to be supportive of however you are feeling, especially related to sexual activities you are both engaging in. If he is concerned about your anxiety, then he should be helpful in problem-solving this situation for you, not making you feel bad about something you do not feel like you can control.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about slowing down or rewinding to other sexual activities that might not provoke your anxiety as much? There are so many things you can do with each other that aren't just penis-in-vagina intercourse. However, if as you said, you enjoy PIV sex and don't want to change that, you could consider going on a secondary method of birth control, in order to feel very secure. And third- you might consider seeking out a mental health counselor to talk through some of this anxiety.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Even though you understand that you are being safe and protected, that doesn't mean that your boyfriend doesn't need to be supportive of however you are feeling, especially related to sexual activities you are both engaging in. If he is concerned about your anxiety, then he should be helpful in problem-solving this situation for you, not making you feel bad about something you do not feel like you can control.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about slowing down or rewinding to other sexual activities that might not provoke your anxiety as much? There are so many things you can do with each other that aren't just penis-in-vagina intercourse. However, if as you said, you enjoy PIV sex and don't want to change that, you could consider going on a secondary method of birth control, in order to feel very secure. And third- you might consider seeking out a mental health counselor to talk through some of this anxiety.