how can I talk to my mom about a pregnancy scare?

[laura23]

Soo... this is not exactly an "am I pregnant? " kind of question since according to your articles I shouldn't be but I believe I did have a low pregnancy risk. Basically my partner and I were both naked and there was some genital to genital contact at some point without me noticing -___-(I guess I was in the moment and didn't realize what was happening, I know..stupid me) anyways I FREAKED out until I got my period. Its been pretty much 3 months and I've been getting my normal periods every month but now and then I still feel "pregnancy symptoms) which won't allow me to let go of the fear of an actual pregnancy. I've taken 4 pregnancy tests throughout this 3 months and they all turned out negative. Since my anxiety is affecting me so badly I've been wanting to talk to my mom about this. I believe she will be the only one that can help me move on from this horrible chapter of my life either by helping me with my anxiety or just reassuring me that I will be fine. The thing is, if I mention this to my mom the picture of the little girl she has of me will be completely ruined. Also, she's going to want to know how, why, who and when I did this and I can't share this with her. The person I did this with is a family friend, someone she trusts... soo I guess my question here is: how do I approach my mom about this? And is it even worth it? I mean I'm not pregnant right? So is it even worth risking this image she has of me?
Sorry for making this so long, but this stupid pregnancy scare is driving me insane!
Thanks for your time (:

[Sam W]

Hi Laura,

So, it sounds like you've had a lot of outside confirmation that you're not pregnant, so the trouble for you now is convincing the anxious part of your brain to believe what you already know. I want to ask, do you tend to find yourself anxious about a lot of things in your life, or is it concentrated on pregnancy and sexual stuff?

I think a helpful first step for you might be to really clarify for yourself what you're looking for from this conversation with your mom. You mention reassurance but what, specifically, do you think would be different about getting reassured from your mom vs. the pregnancy test or other info? What would be the best case scenario for you in talking with her?

[laura23]

Well I've never been in a situation like this before but I also have never been this anxious and obsessive over anything, so I guess you could say my anxiety is concentrated on pregnancy. And you're right, Im not even sure what I really want from this conversation. I guess my mom's word will make me feel better? Or she could help me get a blood test or something else a little more accurate than a home pregnancy test. i have another question: I went to the doctor's last week for an annual checkup. I was complaining about pain in my back so my mom asked for an urine sample to check for an UTI. Would my doctor be able to see if I was pregnant or not? She said "everything was fine" which was a relief for me since I was expecting something like "you're pregnant". I know it sounds silly but the internet has really done some damage to my brain :/ anyways if the urine sample actually worked as a pregnancy test it would really help me with my anxiety since an actual doctor said I was fine.

[Mo]

Home pregnancy tests really are just as accurate as blood tests you'd take at a doctor's office, and especially since you've taken so many you can trust those results. Several months into a pregnancy, you'd definitely see a positive result on those tests if you were indeed pregnant.
The only way to know if the doctor ran a pregnancy test on the urine sample would be to call in and ask if they did, and that's certainly something you can do if you think it'll help ease your mind further.

[laura23]

Does it matter the brand and the price of the pregnancy test? They all Said 99% accurate but some were a little cheaper than the others. But yeah I guess I'll just force myself to move on. I mean I have to, school starting in 2 weeks and that will hopefully take my mind off things. Thanks for your help (:

[Heather]

Nope, it really doesn't. You just want to be sure a test is well within its expiration date and that you follow the directions in taking it.

Have you yet been able to talk to your Mom so you could get some extra support?

[laura23]

No, I've tried but I just can't. I've decided to avoid that conversation since I feel like it would ruin more things than it would fix.
Ive been trying to think of things that will help me convince myself that I am not pregnant... like if I were indeed pregnant, wouldn't I see some minor changes in my body by now? This happened exactly on may 17th so its been almost 3 months. Anyways as long as I am not pregnant I am fine. I will have to get over it eventually. My only fear was that I magically turned out to be pregnant and my choices by then would be limited.

[Heather]

Pregnancy isn't magic. In fact, at this point, we have pretty much all the science to make clear EXACTLY what it requires and involves, and, as it turns out, magic or starry miracles aren't any part of it.

Here's what is, if you don't have the facts to know how it happens in reality, and feel they will help you out now or moving forward: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide.

[laura23]

Thank you so much (: I just wanted to add that I took another test today just to help my mind let go of this annoying fear -__- it was negative (: so I can for sure rely on that result? I just keep feeling symptoms like dizziness and constant headaches.
But anyways, once again thanks for all your help and i know im being repetitive I just wanted to hear it one more time

[Mo]

As long as you follow directions on pregnancy tests, you can trust those results.

I know that it seems helpful to hear our reassurances again and again, but actually coming and asking for the same answers repeatedly like this is going to be worse for your anxiety, in the long run, than it would be for you to do your best to focus on getting distance from this worry. We've made the situation clear several times in this thread and honestly, if you need that reassurance you'll get the same answer if you just look back in the posts that are already here and see the many times we've explained that you're not at risk of pregnancy.

But really, I think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to take a break from looking up anything about pregnancy, or asking us to tell you again that you don't have a risk, and find some constructive ways to relax or distract yourself. And if you feel like this anxiety keeps having a hold on you, then speaking to a counselor or therapist about it is your next step. But we can't provide that sort of mental healthcare, or constant reassurance, in this space.