"I can't see anything" is sure a strange response from a healthcare provider to such a sensitive, loaded question! It's also just an odd response, period, IMHO. I'm sorry you got that kind of response, and not something more professional and engaged.
First off, I hope that you can take some breaths and breathe out some of the feelings of embarrassment you're having. Even if you do have genital anomalies, that's okay: it's really kind of amazing how diverse genitals are, which is sounds like you may already know if you have been doing genital exams in your work.
So, just to make sure we're on the same page, orgasm is primarily something that is about the central nervous system, not the genitals. Orgasm, when it happens, is often due to sexual stimulation people engage in, and that is most often genital, but it doesn't have to be. That's why even people who, for instance, have paralysis that impacts their genitals can still experience orgasm. How much sexual pleasure we feel has something to do with physical stimulus, but it often has even more to do with how excited (turned on) we're feeling, and that's more about our brains than our genitals.
Further -- again, just making sure we are working with the same basic information -- the clitoris is an organ that is both internal and external. It sounds like what you have been looking for, and not finding, is the external glans. You are describing inner labia that are very slight, and it may be that your clitoral hood and glans are, as well.
Can I ask if you have experienced, ever, feeling very, very turned on, and if at those times, looking at or feeling your genital topography, things have looked or felt any differently for you?
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