Caught my boyfriend in a lie - what now?
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Caught my boyfriend in a lie - what now?
Hi.
So Z and I have been dating for just about a month. It's been going really well. Z and I are polyamorous. He is in an open marriage with G, and besides me he is also dating X. X is in a poly relationship with L.
With me so far? Hopefully.
When I found out about X, I was a bit jealous, but I could handle it. Z has been very good about reassuring me, and about not giving me more detail than what I want to hear. However, we were talking about all five of us going out dancing, and he said "G's not ready to meet X and L just yet - but she's okay with going dancing with just us three." I said okay.
Today I found out that Z, G, X, and L are already friends. G has already met them. They are friends on social media. They have been tagged in posts together from over a year ago. X and L went to their baby shower. They clearly know each other.
Which means Z lied to me, and I don't know why.
I asked him, but he's asleep, and I won't get an answer until later on in the day. It's driving me crazy. He did not need to lie to me. I am not so angry and jealous that I need to be lied to.
I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I want to believe there is a rational explanation for this - maybe there was some friend drama from a while back, and G's not ready to interact with them quite yet? Maybe since this thing with X is a new development, he meant G isn't ready to interact with X and L as partner-and-metamor of her husband?
I don't know what to think. Z is the nicest guy I've ever gone out with. I don't want to find out he's lied and then dump him. I feel like I would regret it. But I don't want him lying to me, either.
So Z and I have been dating for just about a month. It's been going really well. Z and I are polyamorous. He is in an open marriage with G, and besides me he is also dating X. X is in a poly relationship with L.
With me so far? Hopefully.
When I found out about X, I was a bit jealous, but I could handle it. Z has been very good about reassuring me, and about not giving me more detail than what I want to hear. However, we were talking about all five of us going out dancing, and he said "G's not ready to meet X and L just yet - but she's okay with going dancing with just us three." I said okay.
Today I found out that Z, G, X, and L are already friends. G has already met them. They are friends on social media. They have been tagged in posts together from over a year ago. X and L went to their baby shower. They clearly know each other.
Which means Z lied to me, and I don't know why.
I asked him, but he's asleep, and I won't get an answer until later on in the day. It's driving me crazy. He did not need to lie to me. I am not so angry and jealous that I need to be lied to.
I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I want to believe there is a rational explanation for this - maybe there was some friend drama from a while back, and G's not ready to interact with them quite yet? Maybe since this thing with X is a new development, he meant G isn't ready to interact with X and L as partner-and-metamor of her husband?
I don't know what to think. Z is the nicest guy I've ever gone out with. I don't want to find out he's lied and then dump him. I feel like I would regret it. But I don't want him lying to me, either.
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Re: Caught my boyfriend in a lie - what now?
Hi oteboog,
It sounds like you already know that the best course of action is to talk to Z and find out what's up. Have you had the chance to do that? If so, how did that conversation go?
Am I right in that Z and G are the couple from your previous posts? If so, how are feeling about your relationship with Z in general? You mention he's the nicest guy you've ever dated, but how are you feeling in terms of all the relationship dynamics going on?
It sounds like you already know that the best course of action is to talk to Z and find out what's up. Have you had the chance to do that? If so, how did that conversation go?
Am I right in that Z and G are the couple from your previous posts? If so, how are feeling about your relationship with Z in general? You mention he's the nicest guy you've ever dated, but how are you feeling in terms of all the relationship dynamics going on?
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 9:07 am
- Age: 36
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: United States
Re: Caught my boyfriend in a lie - what now?
Ah, sorry, but I feel kind of guilty about talking about this sort of thing publicly instead of person-to-person. I'm probably going to delete my posts. Don't take it personal.
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