Dating someone you feel neutral around?

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Thebutterfly
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2017 5:59 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm really good at drawing!!
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Pronouns: She/her or they/them
Sexual identity: Demigirl and pansexual
Location: Chatan

Dating someone you feel neutral around?

Unread post by Thebutterfly »

This is my first partner and I really, really like her but as a friend. I want to advance and feel stronger about her. As much as I want to just be completely devoted to her, I can't help but to feel anything really. Any advice?

(Ps we are currently taking a break because she going through some emotional problems and feels like she'll mess up our relationship.)
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Age: 33
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Re: Dating someone you feel neutral around?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Butterfly,

Can I ask how you two started dating? Were you friends before hand?
Thebutterfly
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2017 5:59 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm really good at drawing!!
Primary language: American English
Pronouns: She/her or they/them
Sexual identity: Demigirl and pansexual
Location: Chatan

Re: Dating someone you feel neutral around?

Unread post by Thebutterfly »

We were friends before for about two years and about two months ago she asked me out to prom. I was excited because I did have some inklings of romantic feelings for her so I said yes. As prom was coming up she asked me to be her partner and I said yes. We've only been on two dates because my parents are strict and like a week notice in advance.

Thanks for answering and I hope this is enough info! If it isn't, I'll kindly let you know more!!
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 9887
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Dating someone you feel neutral around?

Unread post by Sam W »

Got it. It sounds like maybe you're realizing you like her as a friend, but that those feelings aren't translating into a romantic relationship. And that's totally common! You can have someone you like, or even love, as a friend but those feelings don't extend into the romantic area no matter how much you try to make them do so.

With that in mind, what feels like the next step for you? Do you want to try returning to a friendship with this person, or something else?
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