Why the worry?

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
Jellowl
not a newbie
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:54 am
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm very chill and happy
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: North America

Why the worry?

Unread post by Jellowl »

Hello!

My boyfriend and I have been sexually active as of last week. We've had intercourse and while doing so, we used a condom. No breaks, no tears, no slips and no escaped semen when he came; everything was fine. So why is it that my boyfriend keeps worrying about me being pregnant?

To make this point clear, I do not think I am. I am not worried about being pregnant because I know I am not. This is not a case of "I think I may be" or "Help!! Am I pregnant?!!1?1" No, it's not that. I'm just wondering why he's so worried. He keeps asking me when my period is, when it's coming, why isn't it coming, etc. and it makes me feel bad that I can't give him confident answers. I am not regular at all. My period was due last week, I am late; I predicted this because it's completely normal for me. Sometimes I'll even skip a month. It seems as if my lateness is causing unnecessary stress on my boyfriend. I explained to him that it's normal yet he still seems on edge. Is there a way I can calm his nerves or better yet, maybe educate him on how periods work? Is the way he's acting normal for some guys?

Thank you for the advice,
Have an awesome day!
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 39
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: Why the worry?

Unread post by Karyn »

We do have a couple of articles that might help him out:
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?
On the Rag: A Guide to Menstruation

It could be that he's just not that informed about periods and the menstrual cycle and how common irregularity is; if that's the case then those two pieces should help with that. However, sometimes people get very worried about things like pregnancy (even when that's not really a possibility) if they've had a kind of sex that they then discovered they didn't feel completely ready for. So, it could also be worth sitting down with him and checking in about whether he feels okay about having intercourse, and whether it was something he felt ready for. (If he wants to make an account here to talk to us himself, that's an option too!)
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic