Changing habits that are messing you up

[Heather]

I opened this one with one habit particularly in mind: we see a lot of users who are in the habit of using the internet in certain ways, or at certain places, that make them feel freaked out or uncomfortable, rather than being enriching or helpful.

But really, anything we get in the habit of can be challenging to change, and if you're young, the whole business of finding you have habits and learning to change them is probably pretty new to you. It's also a lot harder to change habits when they're things we only do in secret or alone, so we aren't asking the people around us for help.

Need some help getting out of the habit of something crappy for you?

[TheConfusedOne]

I have a habit I'd like to change, but I'm not sure I want to talk about it publicly... I don't really trust my doctor or anyone around me. Never told anyone about it before, but apparently, it's a pretty common addiction. I really really need to talk to someone about it though, and I really do need to stop before my life is seriously ruined. Is there a way for me to talk about it with you privately?

[Heather]

For users who want private, one-on-one discussions with any of our staff or volunteers, they can use our live chat service. You can find out more about it and our other direct services here: http://www.scarleteen.com/need_help_now ... t_services

That said, we make clear on that page that we need use of our direct services to stick to the kind of work we can capably or practically do, and help with addiction or compulsion is not one of those things. That's help to seek out from a mental healthcare provider.

[TheConfusedOne]

Ah, unfortunately, I'm in a timezone where your live chats are online when I'm asleep. I have tried several times, keeping awake to catch your live chat, but by 1am (for me, 10am for PST), I'm way too drowsy to say much more than "Hi".

What advices would you give though, to improve and work towards stopping a habit?

[Karyn]

I don't know what advice Heather would give for breaking habits, or if she had specific resources in mind when she made this thread so I'll leave that to her. But again, if you are talking about an addiction or a compulsion here, rather than just a habit (particularly if it has the potential to 'ruin your life'), then that's not something we are capable of helping with: it's something to talk to a mental health professional about.

[TheConfusedOne]

I honestly no longer know if it's an addiction or compulsion. I know it is repeated often enough to be considered a habit. I'm just saying that from what I've read, others have treated it as an addiction. I don't know if it would ruin my life, though there have been many stories about it ruining others' lives. I'm just suspecting that if I get caught, if someone finds out that I have this habit, they'd view me differently. Much like a very hardcore type kink/fetish. I also know that this habit is not really good for my health, but it's not really bad either because it's actually a recommended practice when having other problems. That's pretty much why many who have this "habit", me included, can't seem to find any advice on dealing with it besides "See a doctor, he'd tell you what to do". Theres no other information about it, no name for it, nothing. It's like an event that no one knows exists, yet it does...

I'm sure it would be better if I talked to a doctor about it, but for now, that's not possible, not if I want absolute privacy. I was actually thinking of just waiting a couple more years until I can actually go to a doctor, when I saw this thread and thought to give it a try.

[Karyn]

Thanks for clarifying. For sure, if it is just a habit, then Heather or another staff member/volunteer may have some suggestions.