Hi Sam, I knew court wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, I knew it was going to suck. It was just 100 times more sucky than I thought it was going to be. When the fact that I had a termination following my assault was told in court, he looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders. he isn't a man...

Hey, so I went to court yesterday. I sat and I gave all my evidence, I read my witness statement and then my personal statement. Then I listened to the fact that they had this CCTV footage from that night, I watched it and it was just horrible to see but then what came next made me wanna hurl. The C...

Oh yes. I have plenty of apps to keep me occupied whilst I wait :) As I've said before music is my thing, it takes me to a whole other place, another world. That's where I always start when I'm feeling anxious about anything. It's my escape. I've got a dozen playlist going on at the moment one for e...

Yer, I guess I'm still just trying to figure this whole thing, trying to find ways to deal with situations that freak me. Reminding myself as well that he can't hurt me again (even if it hurts to think about him, deep down I know he can't do that again!) I've actually researched escape routes from s...

Yer, it's finding those ways to adjust that I'm finding difficult because I have only been around a group as large as 40 since my assault and I freaked entirely and ended up sitting in the car. I don't want tomorrow night to be something that him assaulting me takes away, I've already had so much ta...

Hi

Generally speaking day to day isn't really a problem because I'm not generally around a whole bunch of people all in the same and it's not my thing anyway mainly because of personal space.
Wasn't a problem for me before my assault; being around a lot of people that is.

Yer. I guess that will help!
No unfortunately we haven't discussed dealing with crowds, we have been more focused on my day to day stuff TBH.
Am not seeing either therapist until next week; rape crisis on Tuesday/ Wednesday and the other therapist I'm not seeing until the week after next.

Hey Sam, Sorry forgot to add that bit, it's a seated venue. Seats booked towards the front near the stage in the middle of a row. It's a Bruce Springsteen concert so not expecting any mosh pits TBH. Am hoping I'll be ok but given that the most people I've been around since my assault was like 40 and...

Hey folks, Am feeling nervous and was wondering if any of you had any strategies that might help me out! Since my assault being round a lot of people has not been a good thing for me, the last time I was around a lot of people I freaked BUT saying that I am a lot stronger now than I was, basically S...

Hey Carmen, Thanks, I think it was just one of those days yesterday, have woken up this morning full of enthusiasm again and feel a bit stronger than yesterday. I know this thing is a long term thing and it's not going to happen overnight but that being said I think yesterday I just felt disappointe...

Hi Sam, I've been doing really well recently, I have made a lot of changes in my life and maybe these have finally hit home today. I don't know. Yes I guess ultimately I am still moving forward in this its just not great to feel the way I do today, I know I've got a lot coming up soon too and that's...

Not appeared to be helpful even!

Hi Heather, So today I have taken a total step backwards. I'm not sure where my PMA has disappeared too. I'm not really sure if it's one thing or a combination of things today that have made me feel like I do, I was doing so well as I told you the other day. Today though, it's the first day in a cou...

Ok I'll try it.

Thanks Heather.

yes, that makes sense. I have set a time and place for tomorrow and it will be in a public place (work meetings are now always held in public places, policy since my assault and they are on a computer system so everyone knows where everyone should be and for how long) and it's a place I feel comfort...

Yes I do feel pressured. Again. But in a different way this time, As I said I feel like I'm being hounded and it's making me feel really uneasy. It's triggering all kinds of emotions in me after speaking with him. It feels like its almost a kind of 'well I've been kind enough to you, so now I need s...

Ok, I've been reading some stuff Today (about assault and sexual coercion) it's got me thinking that this is why I feel I need to set some specific boundaries with him because part of the issue I am having right now with him is that he is triggering my emotions too much in relation to this stuff and...

Heather,
Is it ok if I email you. Have a question about something I read today and was wondering if you'd be able to shed some light on it for me? Please!

That makes a lot more sense. Thank you for explaining it more.

I will spend some time this evening after my scheduled self-care thinking about these points.
thanks

Sorry I was with you up until point 4. Then i got lost. Can you explain it a little more please?

Hi, Yes, I will try that. I have a day with him tomorrow so will be able to discuss more about things with him. Generally not liking the fact I have to set boundaries with him though. I don't really know how to word things in a way that will be understood but not so I end up feeling all the things I...

I will make a start with those that you have suggested though. Thanks. T.

Hey sorry about vagueness. Yep you have the right person. I did try saying things after he contacted me so much yesterday, as I said I was only out for a few hours. Not sure he got it though. I said that he needed to realise that stuff will happen when I'm out and about. Things might indeed set me o...

I didn't answer the phone today whilst I was out, I got 4 missed calls, three texts and an email! I was only gone a few hours. I phoned him when I got back and said I was out doing stuff, he said he was glad I was still around and that he was worried about me. I work with this guy and it's been my d...

we have worked together since I was 17. I've described him before as like a brother to me but that doesn't feel right these days for one reason or another. yer, he has respected boundaries I've set before. I've tried asking for him to give me some space to just be. I've asked him to not worry so muc...