Search found 13 matches

by jerd_herley
Mon Mar 04, 2019 7:58 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I love him but I don't want to sleep with him.
Replies: 1
Views: 2658

I love him but I don't want to sleep with him.

I met this guy through an online video game voice chat in December (on Christmas day), and we've been playing games together ever since. He's super charismatic and funny, and I've liked him for a while. Recently, I found out that he started developing a little crush on me and we soon exchanged socia...
by jerd_herley
Thu Dec 27, 2018 3:59 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

That's fantastic! So, since you already have a relationship there, know it would probably be super easy for you to reach out to them again and ask for resources. You can do both, contact them and this other social worker: you don't have to pick just one. It's so nice when giving a user mental healt...
by jerd_herley
Wed Dec 26, 2018 5:06 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

So far, this looks like it may be promising. It's also state-funded, so I expect the services they offer are not-cost or low cost: http://www.wellnesspointe.org/programs/project-reach/ It looks like what this initiative would do in terms of mental healthcare (counseling) is give referrals, but sinc...
by jerd_herley
Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:16 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

Those all sound like good ways to try and take care of yourself right now and dial down some of the trauma: ditching the app for now, journaling and other self-care. I'm really glad you can identify some ways to care for yourself that are within reach. :) In terms of counseling, do you want me to t...
by jerd_herley
Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:25 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

I heard you expressing that you felt tricked into being sexual in conditions you didn't know about or want. I heard you expressing that you felt violated. Both those things a) do not sound like enthusiastic consent to me and b) like ways of feeling and experiences that absolutely can cause trauma. ...
by jerd_herley
Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:12 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

I also want to add that in your first post, I'm hearing you voice clearly that you are experiencing trauma. I want to be sure you know that even when something is consensual (though tbh, in your case, it sounds like this guy was at least a little coercive, and also misled you, which makes the conse...
by jerd_herley
Sun Dec 23, 2018 12:20 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Re: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

solareclipse94 wrote:Hello jerd_herley,
I had something similar happen to me recently. I was video chatting with a guy and he wanted me to undress for him. I did and I was stupid. If you need to talk, I'm here.
Thank you for replying. I feel a lot better knowing that I’m not alone. :)
by jerd_herley
Sat Dec 22, 2018 7:16 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/
Replies: 15
Views: 7520

Feeling violated after mutual masturbation :/

I met this guy while playing games online! He seemed really nice at first, and we played games together for a few days. Then, he started saying really perverted things. First, I thought it was funny and I was kind of into it. We exchanged information and we ended up masturbating together over the ph...
by jerd_herley
Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:52 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I wasting my time?
Replies: 9
Views: 3651

Re: Am I wasting my time?

I told him I wasn’t going to be able to make it to the movies and he seemed to understand. I was pretty nervous about how he would react...

Thank you all so much, I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself and relationships in the past few days.
by jerd_herley
Sun Sep 23, 2018 9:29 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I wasting my time?
Replies: 9
Views: 3651

Re: Am I wasting my time?

I have a habit of putting other people before myself... I meant I would feel bad if I cancelled because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I just realized that he doesn’t really care about mine. I don’t think I should go to the movies anymore. I don’t really have a crush on him anymore either becaus...
by jerd_herley
Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I wasting my time?
Replies: 9
Views: 3651

Re: Am I wasting my time?

I’d feel really bad if I cancelled. I think I should hang out with him once and then stop after that.
by jerd_herley
Sun Sep 23, 2018 6:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I wasting my time?
Replies: 9
Views: 3651

Re: Am I wasting my time?

I think I thought he was okay behavior-wise since he said he changed and apologized to me. He seemed sincere about it, I don’t know. I agree with you and I think the best thing for me is to focus on school and hobbies and just leave him alone. We planned a movie date next weekend, though. Is it a go...
by jerd_herley
Sat Sep 22, 2018 11:44 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I wasting my time?
Replies: 9
Views: 3651

Am I wasting my time?

There’s this guy I’ve known for about five years. When we first met in middle school, I had a decent crush on him. It didn’t help that our friends would make jokes about us dating because of how close we were. I asked him out as a freshman in High school, but he declined because he wasn’t ready for ...