Hi ConfusedGrape, In addition to all the good advice Willa gave, I want to add that while it's certainly a catchy term, "girl horny" isn't all that useful an idea. For starters, regardless of gender we're all experiencing fluctuations in hormones throughout the day, and the kind of libido ...

Hi Skybushh, There are indeed things you can do to explore this, and I'm so glad you feel comfortable enough here to ask about them! The first piece I recommend is this one, just because I think coming at this process with this mindset can take at least some of the stress out of it: Gender Confusion...

That does sound frustrating! Taking a swab is often part of a sexual health exam, but it shouldn't be the whole of it. I will say that, if this about a lack of pleasure rather than active pain during intercourse or masturbation, that's another indicator that there is likely a mental or emotional com...

I suspect that because struggles with pleasure are as often, if not more often, about our minds, that's why your OB-GYN suggested it. But if you think there could be an underlying physical cause, you could certainly as him to help you rule that out via examination. So, I think your next step is to t...

Hi TahjTahj, I'm sorry that when you've raised this in the past with doctors, you've been ignored or dismissed. It does sound like your OB-GYN is taking it seriously, hence her recommendation of a sex therapist. Do you think you could ask her for a referral or recommendation of a specific person? Or...

Hi Renee, So, the fact that your parents both actively signed you up for an actual sex ed class, and that they were willing to voice their concerns about this friend to you, suggests to me that there might be a way to talk to them about all this that doesn't explode the relationship. Is your partner...

Hi iLilli, If you think that different form of masturbation is likely to feel good to you, then I would give it a try to see how it goes! You know, given that your experience of noticing sensations in your body tends to be a negative one, I wonder if it would help to more broadly explore what it's l...

Hi colonelcornball, I'm glad Andy's answer was helpful! I do want to add that while it's good to have a plan for what to do if a condom breaks (which becomes way less likely if you follow all the steps for correct use outlined here: All the Barriers! All the Time! ), forgetting a condom isn't really...

Okay! So, the "Becoming Out" piece Kier linked you to has a section on safety planning as part of coming out. Looking at that, are there steps Liz (the author) recommends that feel doable to you, or like you know how to start putting them in place? As far as meeting other queer folks, I th...

Got it. Would it be helpful to talk about making that safety plan? Like I said, I'm really hoping it ends up not being needed, but having it can take away some of the anxiety attached to coming out, as well as make it so that if things go badly, you're not scrambling to come up with a plan. Can you ...

Hi rodya, I would absolutely continue with your appointment and your planned timeline for starting gender affirming care. It's very kind of you to be mindful that there are other things going on in your family, but there's also the fact that you're part of that family and your needs matter in it too...

Hi Jax-in-the-box, I just wanted to follow up and add a few things. One is that, if you're able to be physically near your friend, we'd be okay with them using your account to ask questions and get support from us, as long as we knew that's what was happening. Two, if your friend thinks his mom woul...

A new piece from guest writer Maya Strong: When It's Harder to See It

Hi Demigirl09, I think you're right that, sadly, even being a member of the queer or trans community doesn't automatically mean that someone will be interested in or go to the effort of learning about the experiences of other groups within that community. Really, at a certain point all we can do is ...

Hi Jaylen23, As long as there is at least one layer of clothing present, then there isn't a pregnancy risk. Too, when we're talking about pregnancy risks, not every situation is different, because what can, or cannot, cause pregnancy doesn't change, and whether or not there's a pregnancy risk depend...

Hi lb07, You're right that the fact that you haven't had one by now is a bit odd, although it's not completely unheard of for menarche to come this late in someone's teens. I can't say for certain why it hasn't come yet, but it may be worth bringing up with a healthcare provider just to check to see...

Hi dontaskneverask, It's pretty common for people who experience attraction to more than one gender to not experience that attraction the exact same way for each gender. That can be for a lot of reasons, including the one you suggested, which is that if we're relatively new to dating overall or have...

Hi Yohanz, You can find the answer to that in the piece Kier linked you. Too, I think this piece will provide important, additional information: Can people with no sexual experience have an STI? I do think that, going forward, it would be sound for you and your girlfriend to read up on and talk abou...

Hi Demigirl, In addition to what Latha said, I want to add a few other points that might help. One is that it's not inherently nonbinaryphobic to point out that the experiences of a non-binary person and a trans woman might be different in some ways if we're talking about a specific nonbinary person...

Hi Sour_Snakes, This is tricky, because while assault intense enough to leave bruises would usually be something it was unlikely to sleep through, if you take medication to help you sleep, depending on what you take there is a chance that you didn't wake up when you otherwise would have. To me, that...

You're very welcome, I'm glad my reply was helpful! It's great that you have a therapist you're working with, and I absolutely understand how something like assault can be painful or difficult to bring up in therapy, even if we have a pretty good relationship with our therapist overall. If it would ...

Hi Archer, In addition to all the really good advice Kier gave above, I want to ask if you've had a chance to read the safety plan yet. Are there steps in the "safety before you leave: getting help and support from others" section that you're already doing? If not, are there one or two tha...

Got it, I'm glad he at least has you as someone who can help him get support and information! Would he be comfortable contacting a local rape crisis center or similar resource if we could find him one? They could offer him support with some degree on anonymity, and could also help him navigate his p...

Hi Sunreis, So, with the caveat that there are plenty of ace folks who are also survivors of sexual assault, I will say that it does sound like the assault and its fallout are playing a big role here; it sounds like you are interested in sex and experiencing sexual desire, but that when you think ab...

So, the tricky thing is, while we can certainly offer information and context to help you work out what, if any, word you want to use to describe your sexual orientation, you're ultimately the expert on it and get to decide how you describe it. I think a good starting place would be to read through ...