Hi Jay27, I’m glad you read part 2 and sought out more recommendations — that all sounds great, and I agree that the small set sounds like a safe place to start. You are absolutely allowed to turn down a pelvic exam — it is your right to refuse any sort of treatment and discuss alternative options w...

Hi iLilli, I hear you that these barriers to pleasure feel like they’re hard to deal with without causing more anxiety, if I’m understanding you correctly. Do you have a sense of what form of support you’d like with this going forward? We’ve given some recommendations on how to engage more with plea...

Hi TahjTahj, and welcome to the boards! When you feel sexual arousal and then go to masturbate, does that initial feeling of arousal go away, or does it stay, just no physical pleasure from touching? I just want to make sure I understand you correctly first. :) Too, is the numbness to pleasure somet...

Hey there Jay27, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through this, especially with all the pain you’re experiencing as well — I am glad, though, that you’re here, and that you’ve made an appointment to discuss this with a doctor as well. You can certainly try using dilators before your appointment, ...

Hey there AQ! In addition to the great advice Cat gave, something else you can look into if you’re concerned about what’s going on behind the scenes of a piece of media you’re consuming is to look at the director/producer team in comparison with the actors. Googling whoever made that piece of media ...

Hey there iLilli, Pleasureful physical sensations can be hard to feel when you’re in your head, and I hear you that, especially with ADHD, there’s another layer of difficulty when it comes to avoiding negative stimuli and getting more in tune with your body and pleasurable feelings in general. It so...

Hi iLilli, Ah, I hear you — sexual desire is highly individualized and context-driven, so it can definitely be hard to think about it as one tangible experience or “thing,” if that makes sense. Thankfully, though, we have this article that goes through All Things Sexual Desire, including a straight-...

Hi Avafruits, and welcome to the boards! I’m sorry to hear that masturbating hasn’t felt good — I hear you that it’s really irritating when you’re aroused and want to, but it just doesn’t feel great. Consuming sexual media to make you aroused is a great first start! It’s really important to make sur...

Hi Ren_eh, It sounds like the combination of your parents having not been involved (experiencing neglect, and the overall crummy feeling that your parents don’t know your friends’ names) mixed with their sudden investment in your choices has been really jarring to experience. As Sam said, this can d...

Hey iLilli, You’re right that there’s a lot of confusing talk out there around sexual terminology, especially with desire vs. arousal. Sometimes I’ve seen the whole sexual response cycle get scrambled up! I think people sometimes use these words colloquially, and not accurately. It can end up being ...

Hi Ren-eh, and welcome to the boards!

Before we advise on how to proceed with your parents here: did your parents give you a sense of why they’re concerned about this friend?

Hi there Rodya, and welcome to the boards! First, I want to reassure you that you are not a coward for protecting yourself during the early stages of your transition — you are taking an important and exciting step for yourself by making an appointment and going today. As you are 18 now, you can abso...

Hey there J23, It sounds like you’re having more thoughts and questions about how you move through the world and what your identity is, but also where this comes from, and I hear you that it’s been a bit anxiety-inducing too. First, I want to reassure you that your feelings about your identity, your...

Hi Yohanz, We have a great resource that can help you determine the different STI risks of different sexual activities. Can I Get Pregnant, or Pass On An STI From That? You’ll see that you can get an STI from oral sex, and it is best to use barrier protection like a condom, in this case. Too, it’s i...

Hi Archer, I hear you that with mental health struggles it’s been even harder to think about things around sex without feeling pretty distressed. Too, I should’ve mentioned earlier, if and when you ever feel like you want to seek confidential professional mental health support, some ways to do this ...

Hi Itsmebabyyy, and welcome to the boards! I hear you that it can be really frustrating when you want to experience orgasm for the first time and it hasn’t happened yet. You are certainly not alone in this either, and I definitely understand the frustration. There’s a few things I can recommend! So,...

Hey Archer, I’m so sorry to hear this. Nobody deserves to be in an abusive home, especially with people who are supposed to be taking care of us. I also hear you that being in a home where you don’t feel safe can make it really difficult to experience pleasure or even just get care and support, and ...

Hey there Jax-in-the-box, I’m really sorry to hear about these circumstances. But I’m glad you’re here to help your friend — supportive community is incredibly important. In this case, does your friend have an adult in his life that he could trust with this information? If he feels like he may want ...

Hi Archer, and welcome to the boards! :) I’m sorry to hear that this has been a frustrating aspect of exploring masturbation, but I want to reassure you that you are absolutely not alone in this experience. It makes me frustrated because other women do. I hear you that, especially when we see other ...

Hi Ellieww, and welcome to the boards! Masturbating in public is never recommended because it violates the consent of those around you. During any sexual act, you need the enthusiastic consent of all people involved. Masturbating in public (such as in school) violates this consent because the people...

Hi Brian,

I’m really glad to hear that! Too, if it helps for the future, we have a resource here that goes through all different sexual activities and the associated risks.

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

Hi AQ! No problem at all, I’m glad we can help! I’ll let Heather respond to their part when they’re in next too. :) The question of “what am I seeking by telling them this” can be more of an organizing question for yourself if you find it helpful, but it’s definitely not mandatory. I think it can be...

Hi there Ramiroflores, and welcome to the boards! A negative pregnancy test, taken in line with the test directions, lets you know that you’re not pregnant. So, right now, there is no pregnancy to manage. However, I hear you that you still feel worried. We have a great resource here for situations j...

Hi there Brian, As Sam said, there is no risk of pregnancy here. We can’t speculate on what would happen “despite the odds,” and I do think that sort of speculation is an anxiety-inducing process and not productive when we can look clearly at the facts: indirect contact with pre-cum does not pose a ...

Hi AQ, Absolutely! So, I hear you when some friend groups maybe just don’t hug that much — my friend group in high school was not so huggy, and looking back, I think maybe we just didn’t have a way of normalizing hugging, if that makes sense (we didn’t really hug our parents either, interestingly.) ...