I am a 15 year old male. I have been straight my entire life and have some romantic experience with girls. As a whole I am very attracted to girls. I absolutely worship the female body, and am turned on by them. But recently I've had some thoughts about guys as well. I have watched some male pornography and found myself turned on by attractive male models online. However I do not find any attraction to the guys I see daily ever. I know from the girls which guys are supposed to be cute. Yet I have no attraction to them. I cannot begin to imagine actually going on a date with a man. I guess I am confused because I am attracted to women 24/7, and attracted to men only in the confines of pornography or the occasional thoughts fantasies while masturbating. Am I bi-sexual? What does this mean?

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

This is more of a psychological issue, I think, than a physical one, and possibly unsolvable, but I'll ask your opinion anyway because this site seems pretty clued up and sensibly feminist and lovely.

I have recently become disgusted with the idea of male pleasure. It's like I'm... too feminist to function. I have had sexual partners in the past, but recently, the more I learn about male character (although that is a gross generalization, I know - there is no innate male or female "character"), the less reconciled I am to pleasing men. My rational mind knows that there are plenty of men who are not misogynist pigs, who don't objectify women, who aren't secretly rapists... yet when I fantasize about sex, and men getting pleasure from sex, I feel physically repulsed. Like, how dare they use my body, they're just like trying to get pleasure from me. I know that is MASSIVELY unjust because surely women are using men too, but I literally can't help it.

Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and I want to get her comfortable with us bringing in another girl, but I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't know what I should say to get her comfortable. I don't want to sound as if I want another girl, I just want to try something new.

My best friend (boy) just came out to me that he is gay (I'm a girl).

I have been in love with him for 2 years now, and I am utterly devastated by this. I am really, really heartbroken. This happened just 3 days ago and I'm still in a state of shock. I don't know what to do now. I tell myself I'm feeling sad because I thought I might lose him, because he is now this new person I never knew, because he was never the guy I thought he was. But honestly, it may be because I am losing him as in I can never be his girlfriend/wife (because he will never like girls!). How do I deal with this?

Ever since I lost my virginity I haven't been able to get very wet. Tightness is not a problem, but my boyfriend keeps complaining that I won't get wet and we have to work over and over again just to get him inside. I don't like using lubes so is there a reason it's like this? I'm on birth control pills so I think that may be it but what can I do to get wetter without using lubes?

I just stumbled onto this site and have found it really informative. But I was surprised to see that, while many people have posted their body image concerns, no one seems to have brought up inverted nipples. I have always felt self conscious about my nipples because they're inverted. Although my boyfriend loves me very much and I doubt he would care, I still have this fear inside that they don't live up to every male fantasy of boobs and what they're supposed to be, so I don't want him to see them. I would hate if he was disappointed by part of me. I am wondering if it is very common to have inverted nipples, and also if males find it unattractive. I know that there is surgery to change this, but I don't know if it is very healthy or a good idea, and I would rather let that be my last resort. I used to think maybe it would change during puberty, but I am 17 so I'm figuring that it won't be something I grow out of at this point. So, I guess what I'm asking is, can you tell me about inverted nipples?

I'm a 14 year old guy, and basically, I've had trouble not really "thinking" about sex. I know its my hormones and growing up, but really, how can you, calm sexual desires down, and, I'm going to a party next week, with lots of girls. So, can you help?

I recently stumbled upon some disturbing web sites that my boyfriend had been looking at on the internet. Mostly they were in regards to BDSM and submission. I am not a prude, and porn does not bother me, the thing that bothered me the most was that the most frequently visited sites were for dominatrixes in our area who perform these acts for money. There was not much about sex, but I am worried that my boyfriend is engaged in these activities. I am not a prude, and would love to act out fantasies with him, but I would be heartbroken to discover he had or is currently visiting any of these people. Especially since he would be paying for it. I don't know how to go about discussing this with him. We have a healthy sex life, but he never wants to try anything new. Had he discussed this with me I would be open into role playing these fantasies. I don't know what to do...any advice PLEASE!!

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old. We've been going out for almost 8 months now. We don't have sex, but we still fool around a lot. My boyfriend used to watch a lot of porn, so he has some really crazy ideas sometimes. I don't mind them and find most of them really interesting. The other night we decided to try when a guy places a penis between your breasts and thrusts until ejaculating. I insisted we didn't because of one problem- I'm a 32 A. Now keep in mind that I'm content with my breast size. However, I used to think it was abnormal to be so small since all the girls in my family are at least a B. Most are at least a C. So this moment really frustrated me and even provoked me to feel insecure about my breast size.....again. Of course our adventure failed because I just don't have enough cleavage to hold him in place.

My boyfriend loves me very much, we both plan to spend our lives together, and we lovingly accept each other for who we are. But I know he was dissapointed and that really made an effect on me. Even though he still loves me, it hurts to be unable to satisfy a fantasy.

I am 24 and a sexually active woman. I have a fantasy that I have told no one about because its embarassing. I keep having fantasies about being held down and forced to have sex. It really turns me on too. Is this normal? (No I have never been raped or molested, so its not some pshychlogical thing comin out.) I want to ask my boyfriend to do a roleplay with me about forcing himself on me but I don't want him to think I am a psycho nutball. Would this be safe and healthy as long as we made up something, a codeword like "reindeer" or something so that if I got scared or it got to rough one of us could say the code word and we stop? Do other people have this fantasy or am I really a psycho nutball?

I'm very confused with my sexuality; I'm a 17-year-old Austrailian male who is definitely attracted to women, but at the same time have an attraction to men that mostly involves fantasies where I play the receptive "bottom" role. I have acted upon these fantasies and sought out sex with other men, however every time it comes to engaging in oral or anal sex I enjoy it far less than I thought I would, even to the point of being bored! Every time I swear it will be my last because I didn't enjoy it, but lo and behold I get aroused again and seek out sex with men, and leave again disappointed. I'm also not attracted to the actual man; more the penis. I don't know what this means; it's worth noting that I have engaged in sexual activity with women, in everything other than actual intercourse and enjoyed it greatly. Add to the confusion the fact that I have a longing to crossdress, especially in women's lingerie, and I'm about as confused as it's possible to be. Please help shed some light on the situation!

(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.)

I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated. I am a late-to-mature sort of person anyway, and though I have researched and read up on sexuality (like I do for, er, everything), I'm not overtly sexual or want to be at this point in my life. Plus, from the moment I learned what the word meant, I have identified as a lesbian: so the dating pool ain't big in high school.

Last summer, I came out as a lesbian to my family and friends, because after about a year and half of questioning and soul-searching and doubting and ALL that fun stuff, I concluded that I was romantically and emotionally (and sexually, though again I just am not particularly sexual yet) attracted to women: I'd never had a crush on a boy; I did indeed have crushes on girls; I was uncomfortable with my gender role; and...well, I dunno, it just FIT. I'd always felt so different, and this seemed right. I took as long as I could to be sure--but once I felt I'd figured it out, I wasn't going to hide it. So I didn't.

There's one anomaly, though: I fantasize very regularly (about every night; fantasizing/masturbation is the only thing that helps my insomnia), and have been since I was about 9-10. These fantasies may or may not include actual sex, and they didn't when I was younger, but they have always included strong BDSM elements--I just consider that a part of my sexuality (one I'm less likely to announce, but *I'm* cool with it, which is the important thing, I figure.) However, lately, perhaps for the past year, these fantasies have exclusively featured gay men, in the vein of "slash" fanfiction and erotica, etc.

I've never been into straight male-female fantasies or erotica--I find it "icky" in the way perhaps some heterosexuals find gay sex unappealing--but I'm quite confused as to why I should find gay male ones interesting. Admittedly, I have read and found and liked a fair bit of erotica intended for a female audience about two males, but I would assume that's directed at straight females. I often find myself identifying with, or taking the role of one of the males; but I've never identified as the opposite sex--I am fairly sure I'm a girl, through and through. And in general, male anatomy or male movie stars do nothing for me. Unless, of course, I can imagine them gay!

Was perhaps my identification as a lesbian too hasty? Should I reconsider whether I'm predominantly bisexual, or even transgendered or genderqueer? I derive a great deal of comfort and confidence from being "sure" about myself and my sexuality, and from categorizing myself a lesbian, but I also don't want to be narrowminded in any direction, if I can avoid it. Again, I've never had a sexual experience: is that the only way to be sure?

Perhaps it's all ridiculous squabbling over semantics, but I'm just unsure. A boy who is a close friend asked me on a date once; I told him I'd gladly go do something with him, because I enjoyed his company, but that I just wasn't into guys, romantically. However, any time I have a crush on a girl, it starts in a similar close friendship (unless, of course, she's amazingly cute in which case the friendship comes afterward); was I closing a door there too rapidly?

I'm just getting ready to start dating in college; the school I'm going to is about 7 males to every 3 females. (Saw this as more of a challenge than a disadvantage, 'specially since my major is about 9-to-1; didn't think about dating, eep!) So...just wondering and wishing I could figure this out.

I have a question which I'm not sure you can answer. I'm 18 years old and a virgin. I have always been kind of self-conscious about my sexuality with regards to expressing it. Recently I've been having phone sex with a woman and it has been the most amazing thing ever. The first time I was really nervous but eventually got into it. The third time we did it it went on for 2 hours. As I was lying there moaning (I hope this isn't too graphic) I started experiencing different parts of my psyche. It was like the purest form of self expression because my ego was completely abolished. At one point though, something happened, my voice got deeper, I started laughing, just out of no where, then my voice got deep and I became really commanding. It felt good because most of the time I feel really repressed, and it just felt good to be this calm happy but also very dominant guy. I want to be that guy again, I want to be more like myself, if that makes sense. I don't know how. Please help!

I was wondering how one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person? I'm 21 and a virgin (older virgins do exist!) for personal and religious reasons. My relationships thus far have consisted primarily of a series of bad first dates... until recently, that is. 3 weeks ago I met a 31 year old man who has opened my eyes to so many things. We get along great, he makes me laugh and appreciates me for who I am.

I have told him I am waiting for marriage to have sex, and he thinks that's great. We have decided to do other stuff, and he has been really good about letting me take the lead, talking about what we're doing and sharing his feelings and experiences. However, for a lot of things he is looking to me for guidance (how to touch me, kiss me, etc.) and I really don't know what to tell him. I've masturbated for 10 years, and have never had a problem having fun by myself, but with another person it is totally different.

There are a number of aspects to it- having another person in my 'personal space', experiencing for the first time what I've been fantasizing about for years (and the reality is quite different!), being nervous, wanting to pleasure him, how to communicate in bed etc.Since I met him, I have been having a hard time masturbating, too. All my fantasies are different.... I'm not sure how or where he fits in.

It's certainly exciting and fun to be discovering these things, but any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks!