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fantasy

Can you tell me about inverted nipples?

Amanda asks:

I just stumbled onto this site and have found it really informative. But I was surprised to see that, while many people have posted their body image concerns, no one seems to have brought up inverted nipples. I have always felt self conscious about my nipples because they're inverted. Although my boyfriend loves me very much and I doubt he would care, I still have this fear inside that they don't live up to every male fantasy of boobs and what they're supposed to be, so I don't want him to see them. I would hate if he was disappointed by part of me. I am wondering if it is very common to have inverted nipples, and also if males find it unattractive. I know that there is surgery to change this, but I don't know if it is very healthy or a good idea, and I would rather let that be my last resort. I used to think maybe it would change during puberty, but I am 17 so I'm figuring that it won't be something I grow out of at this point. So, I guess what I'm asking is, can you tell me about inverted nipples?

How do I calm down my sexual desires around others?

Guyman asks:

I'm a 14 year old guy, and basically, I've had trouble not really "thinking" about sex. I know its my hormones and growing up, but really, how can you, calm sexual desires down, and, I'm going to a party next week, with lots of girls. So, can you help?

Is this just about BDSM fantasy, or is he paying for a dominatrix?

Beantowngal07 asks:

I recently stumbled upon some disturbing web sites that my boyfriend had been looking at on the internet. Mostly they were in regards to BDSM and submission. I am not a prude, and porn does not bother me, the thing that bothered me the most was that the most frequently visited sites were for dominatrixes in our area who perform these acts for money. There was not much about sex, but I am worried that my boyfriend is engaged in these activities. I am not a prude, and would love to act out fantasies with him, but I would be heartbroken to discover he had or is currently visiting any of these people. Especially since he would be paying for it. I don't know how to go about discussing this with him. We have a healthy sex life, but he never wants to try anything new. Had he discussed this with me I would be open into role playing these fantasies. I don't know what to do...any advice PLEASE!!

My breasts failed his sexual fantasy.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old. We've been going out for almost 8 months now. We don't have sex, but we still fool around a lot. My boyfriend used to watch a lot of porn, so he has some really crazy ideas sometimes. I don't mind them and find most of them really interesting. The other night we decided to try when a guy places a penis between your breasts and thrusts until ejaculating. I insisted we didn't because of one problem- I'm a 32 A. Now keep in mind that I'm content with my breast size. However, I used to think it was abnormal to be so small since all the girls in my family are at least a B. Most are at least a C. So this moment really frustrated me and even provoked me to feel insecure about my breast size.....again. Of course our adventure failed because I just don't have enough cleavage to hold him in place.

My boyfriend loves me very much, we both plan to spend our lives together, and we lovingly accept each other for who we are. But I know he was dissapointed and that really made an effect on me. Even though he still loves me, it hurts to be unable to satisfy a fantasy.

Rape fantasy or domination and submission desires?

Nunya asks:

I am 24 and a sexually active woman. I have a fantasy that I have told no one about because its embarassing. I keep having fantasies about being held down and forced to have sex. It really turns me on too. Is this normal? (No I have never been raped or molested, so its not some pshychlogical thing comin out.) I want to ask my boyfriend to do a roleplay with me about forcing himself on me but I don't want him to think I am a psycho nutball. Would this be safe and healthy as long as we made up something, a codeword like "reindeer" or something so that if I got scared or it got to rough one of us could say the code word and we stop? Do other people have this fantasy or am I really a psycho nutball?

Bottoming, crossdressing and bisexuality have got me hella confused.

Anonymous asks:

I'm very confused with my sexuality; I'm a 17-year-old Austrailian male who is definitely attracted to women, but at the same time have an attraction to men that mostly involves fantasies where I play the receptive "bottom" role. I have acted upon these fantasies and sought out sex with other men, however every time it comes to engaging in oral or anal sex I enjoy it far less than I thought I would, even to the point of being bored! Every time I swear it will be my last because I didn't enjoy it, but lo and behold I get aroused again and seek out sex with men, and leave again disappointed. I'm also not attracted to the actual man; more the penis. I don't know what this means; it's worth noting that I have engaged in sexual activity with women, in everything other than actual intercourse and enjoyed it greatly. Add to the confusion the fact that I have a longing to crossdress, especially in women's lingerie, and I'm about as confused as it's possible to be. Please help shed some light on the situation!

Big questions about gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual fantasy

Charlene asks:

(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.)

I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated. I am a late-to-mature sort of person anyway, and though I have researched and read up on sexuality (like I do for, er, everything), I'm not overtly sexual or want to be at this point in my life. Plus, from the moment I learned what the word meant, I have identified as a lesbian: so the dating pool ain't big in high school.

How one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person?

Anonymous asks:

I was wondering how one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person? I'm 21 and a virgin (older virgins do exist!) for personal and religious reasons. My relationships thus far have consisted primarily of a series of bad first dates... until recently, that is. 3 weeks ago I met a 31 year old man who has opened my eyes to so many things. We get along great, he makes me laugh and appreciates me for who I am.

I have told him I am waiting for marriage to have sex, and he thinks that's great. We have decided to do other stuff, and he has been really good about letting me take the lead, talking about what we're doing and sharing his feelings and experiences. However, for a lot of things he is looking to me for guidance (how to touch me, kiss me, etc.) and I really don't know what to tell him. I've masturbated for 10 years, and have never had a problem having fun by myself, but with another person it is totally different.

There are a number of aspects to it- having another person in my 'personal space', experiencing for the first time what I've been fantasizing about for years (and the reality is quite different!), being nervous, wanting to pleasure him, how to communicate in bed etc. Since I met him, I have been having a hard time masturbating, too. All my fantasies are different.... I'm not sure how or where he fits in.

It's certainly exciting and fun to be discovering these things, but any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Looking, Lusting and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography

What IS pornography? Why do people use it? Should I like it or not?

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