I have serious problems becoming sexually aroused without fantasizing about certain BDSM-like scenarios. I've been having fantasies of that sort for a really long time- years before I even knew what BDSM was- so I was thinking that my problem might just be that I'm used to these types of fantasies and only fairly recently started trying to use other means to get myself off, so to speak. However, I haven't noticed any improvement with this problem. I really don't want to be this limited in my sexual experiences. Do you have any suggestions for me? I've heard some things about how seeking therapy might help, but I don't know that much about what this would entail.
My boyfriend and I started having sex a couple months ago. Before that, I was a virgin. Since then, we have done it about 4 or 5 times. Well, tonight, he was fingering me and while he was I felt slight pain but it went away pretty quickly. Afterwards, I realized I bled some. It wasn't like period blood though, it just looked like regular blood. Is there any way possible that he could have just now "popped my cherry" even though we have done it a few times before? I thought that happened the very first time. Also, is it possible for a female to have an orgasm if her cherry isnt popped? We talked about the reason I haven't had an orgasm and we have been trying to find the right spot, but after this incident...I was thinking maybe that was the reason I haven't orgasmed.