Skip to main content

support

Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction

A blog written by, for, and from the perspective of feminists with female sexual dysfunction.

How do I deal with the results of a medical trauma or abuse?

malia asks:

Hi, I'm sixteen and about four months ago I was treated at the hospital for severe anemia due to over excessive menstruation. While I was there, I had to have a pelvic exam done, and I'm already really shy, and I've never been touched like that or even have had a boyfriend. So the doctor (who was a man) was about to do it, but I was so scared he had to physically spread my legs apart. Then he put the speculum in and did whatever, but he had to push through the hymen, and it hurt pretty badly. It seemed like he didn't care at all how I was doing, or anything. Now I cringe when people mention sex or anything like it because it reminds me of him and the pain and embarrassment. How am I ever going to trust a man enough again to let him get close, and how can I block this event out of my head?

Show Your Support: Vote for Scarleteen

Our founder, Heather Corinna, and Scarleteen have been nominated for the Our Bodies Ourselves Women’s Health Heroes award. This award is designed to honor and recognize those who make a difference through significant contributions to the health and well being of women.

Read more...

Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking

Breakups sure can suck. But you can get through them, and come out on the other side okay. Find out what can make that easier, what can make them harder, and some ways to help yourself with so you can deal, heal and get back to the business of being your kickass self.

Is it appropriate to offer a blessing to someone pregnant from a rape?

doctors_daughter asks:

I'd like to direct this question to Hanne Blank. I am Chassidishe, (I know, I shouldn't be on the internet) but needed to find something out that I can't ask my Rav (or anyone on Askmoses for that matter, especially since I know quite a few of their scholars). Does a person say Mazal Tov to an unwed mother? Jewish, maybe not frum, or even worse, a teen mother (again Jewish, VERY FRUM...)? I recently found out that my friend, age 14, was pushed against her will to have intercourse with one of her brother's "frum" friends (age 20ish). She is now pregnant, and doesn't know how to handle it. She is not sure how to tell her mother. Does one say B"sha'ah Tova to her? I don't want to say the wrong thing, and want to help her in her time of need. I have a non-frum friend who is a teen mom going through her third pregnancy. Her parents disowned her. I now am convincing my mom to take her in with her kids. Should I start asking her about taking my other friend in now? I know that the mother would probably disown her if she found out.

What can I do to help him stop being so scared of pregnancy?

woah asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we have even talked about getting married. We recently moved in together and to be honest we are as happy as two little beavers. Except for one thing, we haven’t had sex in over 2 years. It really isn’t a problem, we do other things (oral etc.) but we both would really like to go back to having sex. The problem with that is that my boyfriend is afraid I will get pregnant. Every time that we do anything sexually I have to take sometimes up to an hour with him reassuring him that I cant get pregnant from what we just did.

How can I give my sister a good sex education?

RespectIsSexy asks:

I am 17, and I have a 15 year old sister who is Autistic. I also come from an EXTREMELY Catholic family. I never got a sex talk - I straight-up asked my dad what sex meant when I was 9 or 10, and he gave me some very unhelpful answer about a gift that God intended to be shared between a man and a woman in marriage. I, however, had enough resources like gurl.com and, you know, friends with older sisters to eventually get the full picture. My sister does not.

Katie knows about menstruation and deals very well with it, but at last check she barely knew what her parts were and she does not appear to be receiving any meaningful sex education in school - that's my school district through and through. But Katie is physically mature, and I'd bet almost anything that she's experiencing age-appropriate sexual feelings.

About That "Talk" with Your Parents...

Talking with your parents about sex can be really hard – even if your parents are really open and start the conversation themselves rather than you starting it – or even if your parents are totally supportive of your boyfriend or girlfriend and your sexual activities. Here are some tips and helps to make it easier on both of you.

Double Dollar Valentines for Scarleteen!

From February 14th through March 15th, one of our regular donors has agreed match the donations we receive up to $350 per donor, and/or up to $3,000 total.

Read more...

Healing and dealing with triggers and fears as a male sexual abuse survivor

DAN asks:

I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened. I've been drinking and went back to drugs. I wouldn't want to, but it's the only way I can get some rest. Last weekend happened something that really scared me. I was drunk and high and without noticing I found myself rubbing a guy's leg. I pretty much wanted to make out with him and other stuff. I can't become gay, it's not fear I hate myself so much, I hate the pervert who abused me, I hate everything right now. Yesterday I cut my wrists but it wasn't deep enough. I don't want to die but I find hard living right now. This evening I cut my face. What happened the weekend means I'm gay? Am I becoming gay? What can I do to prevent it? How can I stop remembering? It's just too embarrassing to talk to anybody. If I was a girl I could do it, but come on, I'm a man. Men don't let these things happen. I'm just trash.

Please notify us of any inappropriate ads