risks

Pregnancy Scared?

Worried you or a sexual partner might be pregnant? Evaluate your risk, find out what steps you may need to take next, check in with your feelings and by all means, breathe. We're here to walk you through it.

STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes

Need to check out what your sexually transmitted disease or infection risk might be in a jiffy?

I'm 14 and sure my boyfriend wants sex: but is now the right time?

Hannah0035 asks:

Hi I am 14 years old and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months on the 20th... we're mostly all teenagers here and young adults and can tell that guys want more than just make-outs, hugs and kisses they want sex... I wouldn't have a problem having sex with him. I am pretty sure he is still a virgin by 99.9% and I am also still a virgin and was wondering when the best time it would be to have sex, where and I am nervous that I will mess up some how.... Help please??

My boyfriend wants naked pictures of me: should I do it?

MelissaDV asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months. I'm 17 and he's 22. Everything is going great! We never really fight and my family likes him, too, which is rare. Only problem is he travels a lot for work, he will be gone for 2 weeks at at time. I don't mind, but he asked me to help make his trip better...he wanted me to take nude pictures of myself. I said I would but only because I do love and care about him a lot and thought it would be good for the both of us. But I HATE pictures as it is...I tried to take them for him but I HATE every picture I take and it makes me feel even more self-conscious than I do already. I would rather walk around naked for him all day then take pictures of myself. I know it sounds stupid, but it's just really hard for me. I trust him and know he wouldn't do anything with those pictures but it's hard explaining to him why I don't like pictures, he doesn't get it...should I just suck it up and take em?

Why We Need Scarleteen

Submitted by Scarleteen Gues... on Fri, 2010-10-22 06:51

This is a guest post from sex educator Charlie Glickman, part of the month-long blogathon to help support Scarleteen!

Imagine, for a moment, what the world would be like if we took the same approach to money as we do to sex. Imagine trying to hide all evidence of money from children, telling them that it’s not something they should know about. Imagine shaming them for asking questions about it, for expressing an interest in it, and for wanting to experiment with it. Imagine that you never explained how budgets work, or how to balance a checkbook, or how to pay for anything. Then, imagine that when they turn 18, handing them a credit card and saying “good luck with that.”

In essence, that’s what we do with sex.

Would you be surprised if those young adults didn’t know how to responsibly handle money? Would you be shocked if they ended up in crisis because they didn’t have the skills to take care of themselves? Would you think that their parents and schools had done their job?

If you answered “no” to these questions, then maybe you can also ask yourself why it should be any different when it comes to sex. The worst thing that’s likely to happen in my imaginary scenario is someone’s credit rating plummets and they declare bankruptcy at 18. When it comes to sex, the risks are much worse.

Over and over, the research is clear. When we try to “protect” children by creating secrecy, silence and shame around sex, they’re at more risk for sexually transmitted infections, unintended pregnancy, and sexual assault. When we give them age-appropriate language and tools they need to understand sex, we keep them safer and we help them keep themselves safer.

Fortunately, Scarleteen does just that. Since 1998, it has been the go-to site for free, inclusive, comprehensive and positive sex education, information and one-on-one support for millions. They’ve also talked about the pleasures and benefits of sex, offered advice for young people without telling them what to do, and have never avoided the difficult topics.

They manage to do this without any federal, state or local funding and have a much smaller budget than many organizations that offer less support and fewer resources. Plus, Heather Corinna, the founder of the site, is a dedicated sex educator and she’s fantastic.

Since Scarleteen relies on donations rather than governmental funding, they’re able to offer accurate information without being swayed by the shifting political trends. This allows them to host blog posts, informational articles, and over 5000 one-on-one or group conversations on their message boards in an average year. As if that wasn’t enough, their goals for the next couple of years include creating a database of sex-positive medical professionals, offer stipends to their volunteers, improve their site, and create a fund for young people in need of reproductive health and other needed services.

To make all this happen, they need a minimum annual operating budget of $70,000 and the revenue to support it, including a minimum of $20,000 in private donations alone each year. That is an amazing value and I can’t think of another organization that does so much with so little. If you want to see better sex-positive information and support for youth, your donation to Scarleteen will do more than anything else you could do. Visit the site for more info on how to make it happen. And while you’re there, check out what they offer. You’ll be amazed.


How do I bring up my sexual limits and boundaries?

Lishy asks:

I'm 15, and I have my first boyfriend (he's 16, almost 17, with a one year five month age difference between us). I really love him, and he loves me. Yesterday, we were kissing and ended up with us making out and him on top of me. He touched my leg, and my stomach and hip some, but didn't go anywhere near my privates. He's really sweet and polite and would never pressure me into anything, but we haven't talked about sex or anything. I haven't even asked him about his last girlfriend. I'm a virgin, and would like to stay that way for the forseeable future. I have nothing against sex in high school or before marriage, I just don't think I'd be able to handle it emotionally if I got pregnant or our parents found out or something. How can I bring up sex, and my boundaries, with him?

Why am I so paranoid about sex?

alsexnikkah asks:

Mmkay I'm 13. I want to have sex really bad but I still don't have a boyfriend and blah blah blah. I KNOW how to not have sex with a guy that I JUST met. I like to go out with a guy for awhile before I do anything like sex. But when I do have a boyfriend for like a year I would like to have sex. But I am always freaking out about getting pregnant! But I can't wait if I find someone that I like for awhile and stuff! And like I would like to do oral. But I am scared if I will get herpes or something. I'm always so paranoid about this! :|

Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?

alice42 asks:

For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal? Should I be worried that this turns me on more than anything else we've done together? Is there something wrong with me? (I've never been abused). And can I still be a feminist if I get off on being dominated by men?

Is it safe for him to taste my menstrual blood?

theredmarker asks:

I know having your partner finger you during your period is perfectly safe (while a little messy), but I do have another concern: my boyfriend often puts that finger in his mouth to taste the fluid after he's done fingering. So I was wondering, is it safe to do that while on your period? Like, are there any health risks involved with ingesting the blood? Now I do realize this would be a very small amount of blood, but I'm just curious.

Period MIA: Is There A Risk?

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend stopped having her periods but she hasn't had sex and it's been two years since her last period. If we have unprotected sex is there still an opportunity for her to get pregnant?


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