risk

What's the Risk? Easy Pregnancy Risk Assessments

At Scarleteen, we believe that no one should ever have to be pregnant if they do not want to be. We also believe that all sex should be safer sex - and that means using barriers like condoms, surgical gloves, and dental dams for genital sex. While safer sex usually provides pretty good birth control, accidents do happen. And sometimes, whether we agree with it or not or even whether we intend it or not, unprotected, unsafe sex does take place.

Are condoms really necessary for oral sex?

Heather asks:

You say that condoms/protection needs to be used even during oral sex because of the risk of STDs. Do me and my partner still need to worry about this if neither of us has touched someone else sexually before?

Why do I feel like I want a baby right now?

Emily asks:

I'm 18 years old, going on 19 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years who is the same age. I lost my virginity to him and have never wanted any other person besides him. When we first started having sex, I was completely afraid of getting pregnant. I once thought I was pregnant and contemplated throwing myself down the stairs, though now I would never do such a thing. Now that we've been together for so long, and plan on being together for a long time to come, I've been having very strange thoughts.

I'll be in a store, and look at baby clothes or a book store and see baby books and think "Oh, it's baby stuff. I wish I had a little one of my own." Right now, my boyfriend and I live together, he goes to college and works part time and I just work. I have no clue what I want to do yet, so we decided to move and let him go to school since he had it all planned out.

He pulled out, but now I'm late

Candy asks:

Hey, I had my last period on the 8th of April. My boyfriend and I had sex on the April 21st, but he pulled out before he came. Now, I'm 2 days late for my period! I am freaking out big time, could I be pregnant? I checked the net for all the early pregnancy symptoms but none of them apply to me. I've noticed that the past week I've not had a lot of the usual discharge, but on the day my period was due I did have a lot of white discharge and the next day as well. Please reassure me! When should I really panic?

We're abstinent, but we had anal sex and are scared to death.

Jmo asks:

My boyfriend and I are being abstinent until marriage. We only had sex once, we aren't doing it again and want to be renewed as being abstinent, and we are doing that with my cousin and her bf, because they quit after doing it for months, too.

There was only one incident that happened, that scares us both to death. I would never let him in my vagina because that would just ruin our relationship. We had anal sex. I was sitting on top of him, and the he pre-cummed in his pants. He wanted to just stick his penis in my butt, not my vagina, so he did and it hurt soooo badly. He said he cummed while I was on top. I'm not sure if he wasn't in my vagina, though, because I had a tampon in and when I went to the bathroom after all of this happened, I found the tampon all moved up inside my vagina. Then he cummed and took it out, and we stopped, and we both laid next to each other and he stuck his penis back in my butt again. He used lotion so it wouldn't hurt as bad, and it didn't go in far. After the second time lasted for a minute or two, we stopped and decided we should never do it again, because we weren't like that, being all "sexual." That happened on April 19, and it is April 29. We are both scared that I may be pregnant. I never eat a lot, but now I crave food a little more. We are just so scared to death. I never lost my virginity. I was just wondering if the second time he cummed, if it was in my real butt or not, because it felt different from a different position. I want to know if there is any risk at all that I might be pregnant. My period was the 16th-19th, and I really don't want to wait that long to see if I am or not, but I live with my nana and her new abusive husband would kick me out if I even had a pregnancy test so there is not really a good way to do that. I would just like to know all the information, if we should be worried or not, and anything you can tell us. Thank you so much!

What do you want to know about periods and sex?

Ellie asks:

If you're due to start your period and your boyfriend fingers you, can fingering stop you from coming on your period or make you a little late?

It's complicated, but I can't bear to see a doctor to get EC. What do I do?

Jane asks:

I am in my early 20s and recently had to stop taking the contraceptive pill because of a medical reason. Now that I am medically ok again, I planned to re-start the pill at some point this week. However, me and my BF of 2 yrs got drunk last night at a party and stupidly had unprotected sex. I am too embarrassed to go to a doctor and ask for a Plan B pill I have heard that if I take two contraceptive pills now (or asap) then it acts in the same way a morning after pill does...is this true?

What are some of the benefits of having sex?

Amy asks:

I hear a lot about the negative side of sex and bad things that could happen from having sex. What are some of the benefits of having sex? What are some of the positive outcomes that would/could result in having sex with my boyfriend?

I'm not sure if I want the pill or not!

Confuseddd asks:

I'm really torn on what to do. I'm a 17 year old, sexually active girl and I've been thinking about getting on the pill. My boyfriend and I use condoms every single time, but he wanted me to get on the pill because he says it feels better without one and also because pregnancy is something we both don't want. It took me forever to get up the courage to make an appointment at Planned Parenthood, and when I finally did, I canceled 5 hours before my appointment. I just couldn't go through with it. I think I want to get on the pill but I'm scared my mom will find out since I have to take it everyday, and I also don't want all of the side effects like mood change and weight gain. My boyfriend now says that I can do whatever I want, and that after getting used to condoms, he thinks that they feel the same as not using one. That's great and all that he's putting the decision completely in my hands but it also doesn't help because I have no idea what I should do. Is it okay for me to just use condoms? Is that safe enough, if we use them properly? Will the pill be too much of a hassle if I have to hide it, and does it really cause you to gain weight and get all sensitive? I don't know what to do at all. I want to be responsible with this but I just want to make sure I'm not choosing the wrong thing by sticking with only condoms.

He was going to pull out...but he didn't, and I feel bad taking Plan B.

Stacey asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 months and we just started having sex. He was my first and I am completely in love with him. We've been protected for 4 of the times with a condom, but tonight we didn't use one. He was about to pull out right before, but he came. I'm really scared that I could become pregnant and I know that one of my friends has the "morning after" pill, but I feel bad taking it. I am so worried and confused. HELP ME!

Shooting blanks or a loaded gun?

Rivera hit this asks:

I had this girlfriend and me and her always had unprotected sex and I was wondering why didn't I get her pregnant if I always ejaculated in her? This was like a 5 month thing that I had sex with her everyday and always ejaculated do you think that when I am ejaculating I'm shooting blanks cause I'm like really thinking about it. I'm 15 years old.

I didn't want to go without protection, but could I be pregnant?

confused_chick_2010 asks:

Ok, so I lost my virginity at 14. I'm 16 now, and I had unprotected sex about 2 weeks ago with my boyfriend who is 18. I didn't want to have it without a condom because I'm not on birth control, but he wanted to, and he's done so much for me in the past (not sexually), that I felt I owed him this. I told him that the only way I would have unprotected sex, he would have to pull out. I think he pre-ejaculated in me, but thats it. I was supposed to get my period 9 days ago, but I haven't gotten it yet. Could I be pregnant? I told my boyfriend I was late but he's convinced it's just because I've been under extra stress because of midterms. Help?

If we're just rubbing genitals, are there still risks?

Gena N. asks:

Hi I'm a 17 year old girl and I've been sexually active with my boyfriend for a few months. We always use condoms. But recently we have been trying this new thing where I sit on him, facing him (naked obviously) and his penis is straight up and we just kinda rub up and down for a little bit. He always pees before we do stuff cause I hear that lowers pre-cum risk and also I always watch his penis as we do this so I can make sure I see nothing coming out. Also, My vagina never touches the head, it just rubs the base. Is there a pregnancy risk here? I thought it sounded safe but I still wanted to know for sure. If it's not we'll stop!

Are these side effects of the pill...or am I pregnant?

NEED-ANSWERS asks:

Hi, I am on Ortho Tricyclen Lo, and I have been taking them for almost a month now. I am on my placebo pills, but haven't had my period yet. Is that supposed to happen? On day 3 of taking my pills, I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend, and three weeks later I have been feeling very sick, low energy, nauseated and bloated, and have been very moody. I'm hoping it's side effects of the pill, but I'm not sure.

She's five days late: are condoms REALLY effective?

John B asks:

My girlfriend and I had sex about a week and a half before her period was due with a spermicidal condom on. Now she five days late and I'm really worried. We took a pregnancy test and it came out negative. I keep hearing that you can take a HPT after a missed period but, isn't there still a certain amount of days you need to wait regardless of a missed period? My worry, even after we took the HPT is that we had sex so close to her period that the test wouldn't be accurate for another week or so. Also, do spermicidal condoms work pretty well?