- All About Scarleteen
- Guidelines & Privacy
- Quick-Start Guide
- Need help with the site?
- Get our book!
- DIY Sex Statistics
- The Scarleteen Blog
- Our Facebook & Twitter
- Contact Us
- Support Scarleteen!
- SITE SEARCH
A new photo book entitled 'American Youth' was recently released. This glossy, 240-page photographic document features snapshots and extended photo essays on young people from all across the United States, from all walks of life: races and ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, socioeconomic backgrounds, and more. The subjects' commonality is their age (those who come of age this decade a.k.a. people born between 1982-1991) and their country of residence.
From PEDIATRICS Vol. 123 No. 1 January 2009, pp. e110-e120 (doi:10.1542/peds.2008-0407): Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers, Janet Elise Rosenbaum, PhD, AM; Health Policy PhD Program, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts; Department of Population, Family, and Reproductive Health, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Maryland.
I'd like to direct this question to Hanne Blank. I am Chassidishe, (I know, I shouldn't be on the internet) but needed to find something out that I can't ask my Rav (or anyone on Askmoses for that matter, especially since I know quite a few of their scholars). Does a person say Mazal Tov to an unwed mother? Jewish, maybe not frum, or even worse, a teen mother (again Jewish, VERY FRUM...)? I recently found out that my friend, age 14, was pushed against her will to have intercourse with one of her brother's "frum" friends (age 20ish). She is now pregnant, and doesn't know how to handle it. She is not sure how to tell her mother. Does one say B"sha'ah Tova to her? I don't want to say the wrong thing, and want to help her in her time of need. I have a non-frum friend who is a teen mom going through her third pregnancy. Her parents disowned her. I now am convincing my mom to take her in with her kids. Should I start asking her about taking my other friend in now? I know that the mother would probably disown her if she found out.
Binx_mojo asks:I am ready to have sex and my boyfriend is, too, but wants to wait because we are both Christians. Should I wait for him or should I dump him? What should I do?
For gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Christians.
I have just become a teen and sometimes I feel like having sex but I don't want to because I'm not ready. I just started my menstrual cycle. I think it's just my hormones but I am not sure. I also think it's wrong to do it unless you love someone a lot or your married. Most people today in our modernized world don't have the same philosophy. Am I weird? I am really religious so if I do it, it's gonna be on my conscience. Also since protection is not always 100% I might get and STD or pregnant. I need some advice. I don't think I can handle a sex life right now.
I used to know God was real. And I knew sex outside of marriage was wrong. Then I lost my faith, and fell in love, and everything turned upside down. One readers story of her struggles to resolve her conflict between sex and religion.
Can the love between two people ever be an abomination? Is the chasm separating gays and lesbians and Christianity too wide to cross? Is the Bible an excuse to hate?
Dear Scarleteen,
My family's religion has gotten me really twisted up about sex. I don't participate in that denomination anymore, but it still makes me feel guilty when I try to or think about trying to have sex with my boyfriend. I'm worried about it effecting me later in life - what if I'll never be able to have sex because of religious trauma?
For the past few months my period hasn't been normal. I'll go weeks or sometimes a whole month without it. I am currently in a relatively new relationship (about 2 months now) and we've had sex a few times, but he pulls out right before. I know about the risk of pre-ejaculate and such, but how possible is it to get pregnant from it? Also, I want to start using condoms and while I feel comfortable with him, since we've never brought it up I am bit apprehensive about mentioning it. How can I tell him that if we're going to have sex we need to use condoms? I know it sounds simple and it should be, I'm probably just stressing out about bringing it up over nothing. The thing is that we're both pretty religious people and while I'm more than happy with our sex life, I didn't expect it wouldn't happen so soon. So, the dilemma is do I mention the condoms? Or should we quit having sex because of the way deep down we know we should live and behave. I'm not in anyway saying I don't "want" to have sex.. but I don't know if having sex is the best thing for us now. And if it isn't, how do I go about telling him when we've had sex a few times? (I know this is definitely a personal problem for me, but if you were in my position.. what do you think you'd do?)
Another quick one, in my last relationship that lasted 4 years, my boyfriend who was 27 and I would have sex, either vaginally or orally, and he could only become aroused and ejaculate once. With the person I am with now (who is 31) he'll get aroused and ejaculate and an hour later he's ready to go again. Is it just different in every person? Thanks so much for your time.
I lost my virginity when I was 15 to the boy I've been with for nearly 2 years now. He's a wonder. He was exceptionally gentle with me when I needed it, and with a little persuasion, isn't afraid to give me what I want. To put it gently, I think we're past the 1 minute quickly in the back seat of a car. He's also been awesome about my recent admittance of being bisexual. He's neither perverted or turned off about it, but basically just thinks it's cute.
I have two friends who are in the same boat as me as far as sexual experience, but two of my other close friends are not. One minute they try to get me to share, then the next minute come down on me and claim to do so because of religious reasons. They say things like "We're waiting for marriage, why aren't you?" and "Well, I feel differently." Their attitudes change quickly, but only after I get done sharing as they ask me too. The boyfriend says it's not religious reasons, that its really jealousy. Only one of them has been kissed, the other has never had anyone ask her out. Because of those facts, part of me thinks he's right, but knowing them as I do, I'm not sure that it is. Is it jealousy, or is it religious reasons?
In my home, religion was big. Some things were discussed other things weren't. Premarital was a big issue and I was told never to do it, but we never talked about masturbation or anything like that. So is it wrong to do it?
I don't know if you are Orthodox or not, but if you are, perhaps you've heard of a term called "taharat hamispocheh" (rough transliteration). These are the laws (halacha) of family purity, or so they're called. They cover life situations involving sexuality and sexual activity.
Many men and women engage in oral sex, and find it one of the most pleasurable of sexual activities. So long as you engage in it responsibly, it's normal, healthy, safe and natural. Here are the basics, and the answers to your most common questions -- no secrets, no flashing lights and sirens, just the lowdown on going down.
There's nothing wrong with masturbation. Come on, say it with me: "there's NOTHING wrong with masturbation."