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Condom Basics: A User's Manual

Using a condom is generally easier than it looks (especially if you can relax about it), but the first few times, it can be tricky, especially if you're nervous about knowing how to use one.

The Scarleteen Concierge: No Lines, No Waiting

Help us help you help yourself (now try saying that ten times fast).

All About S.E.X.: The Scarleteen Book!

Get your hands on S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Heather Corinna! Check out reviews, the table of contents and a myriad of places you can get your very own copy of the sexuality primer for every body.

Tired of Teasing

Anonymousssdude asks:

Hello there, i am 18 years old and my girlfriend is 16. She has been with around 17 other guys, given one blowjob and handjobs etc. but when it comes to me, she does not seem to care about what I want. I please her from fingering her, go down on her and we have sex as well. But when it comes to handjobs she does not seem to be willing to work in order to plessure me. The only thing she does is touch me down there in order to tease me which she finds funny but i hate it. What can i do to tell her in a nice way that i really would like her to do SOMETHING instead of just pissing me off? BTW we have been dating for around one and a half month and im getting sooo tired of it already. It would be okay if it was her first time, but thinking about the fact that she has done this to other guys makes me sick and tired of this relationship. It might be worth mentioning that this is the first real relationship of her's. Hope you can help me :/ have a good one

Trauma is a Complicated Thing

Originally published on loadofhotair.wordpress.com. Second part in a series, first part is here.

My last post didn’t cover everything I wanted to say about this topic, and it was a bit all over the place. The thoughts were all very fresh and I was still working through them, and I was also kind of dissociating at the time. Which brings me to the points I wanted to make in this follow-up.

Trauma is messy. It is messy and ugly and it doesn’t make sense a lot of the time. It has been brought up a lot recently, because of the Jian Ghomeshi trial, that there is no such thing as a perfect survivor. This is because rape is a complicated thing, and so is trauma. My personal experience is an excellent example of this. My story is just one story; it does not at all describe the experiences of every survivor of sexual abuse and assault, it may not even describe a lot of them. But it describes mine, and it is an important example of the myriad ways that trauma is messy.

I spoke in my last piece a

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Rape is a Complicated Thing

Originally published at loadofhotair.wordpress.com.

Tonight I realised that I’ve been raped. I had already recognised and identified a previous sexual assault, and sexual abuse, throughout my life. But this took me a lot longer to see. My rapist would never, in a million years, believe that he is a rapist. If he found out that I was saying this, he would probably roll his eyes, and be genuinely amazed and astonished by my ability to make a mountain out of a molehill.

There are a lot of people who, upon hearing the details without the context, would also be quick to tell me that it really isn’t a big deal and really isn’t rape. But the thing is, rape is a complicated thing. Rape needs context.

My rapist would absolutely have stopped if I had told him to. So then, how could that possibly be rape? My rapist created an environment in which I felt like I couldn’t say no. But it’s tricky, because I didn’t feel like I was in physical danger if I said no. I didn’t think he would hit me, or “r

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Why doesn't my girlfriend enjoy sex?

tazzy asks:

Hi, me and my girlfriend are dating for almost 2 years now, we met when she was 19 and I was 21, we love each other and our relationship is going great, with only one exception - sex. We had our first sex few weeks after we have met and the problem was that she didn't feel almost anything during it, and we are dealing with this problem since then. We both had some sexual experiences before and she claims that she has never had experience like this, only that she hasn't reached orgasm every time but at least felt pleasure during it. So it looks that the problem is in me, but I don't know where. I don't think that my penis is so small (I've had around 20 sexual partners before her and never noticed such problem) plus when i finger her with just one finger, she likes it. It is similar when I touch her clit, she is able to reach orgasm very quickly this way, but when I touch it during sex, she says that it's a very little bit better but still nothing special and when I try to touch it after we try to have sex she doesn't feel anything at all. Long story short, she only liked having sex with me twice and only for a short time, so it is clear that we are very desperate about it but still cannot find solution. I have tried to google this many times and have never found a similar problem.

I Hate my Body, What Should I Do?

soclara asks:

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met on a dating site, and I am having a very difficult time with showing him my body in a way that is real as opposed to posed/cropped/filtered in a way that makes me look better. To give some background, exactly a year ago I developed disordered eating, then "graduated" to binging/purging. I've always been fat, since I was little, and I think that is part of the reason I look the way I do now. I've always hated my body for obvious reasons, but I never really did anything about it until last year, and in fact the disordered eating developed from me deciding to lose weight the healthy way until I discovered that fewer calories = more weight loss. I lost this weight with literally zero exercise and for some reason I can't get myself to do it.

So therein lies my issue.

Dating and Gender Roles when One Partner is Trans

What do you do in dating when one person is trans and one is cisgender?

Sixteen and Struggling

Badgyalania asks:

Hi I'm 16 years old and I'm a lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a female for a year and 4 months now, but it's hasn't been all happy and what not. We've had a lot of down falls mainly on her. She's lied to me about soooo much and has cheated on me more than 4 times I'm not sure the exact amount but its definitely more than 4. Our relationship isn't just a relationship we are best friends and it's really hard for us to walk away from eachother. So everytime I find something I give her another chance and she always says she's going to stop and fights for me to stay with her. I dont know what To do anymore I'm in love with her but it's not the same anymore everything we've gone through has changed our relationship and how we view eachother. So now I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay and see if it gets fixed or just give up and leave my best friend and first love. She also took my virginity by the way. She always try's to control me and I do the same but the difference is I listen and she doesn't she just lies and lies. I'm so stuck and I'm becoming depressed and she isn't being any help she think I need to just move on from what she did and continue the relationship but I don't think it's that simple. There's so much more but I'm gonna leave it at that.

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