rejection

No. More.

What should you do when someone says no to or otherwise refuses or declines your romantic or sexual gestures or asks Accept it and stop making those gestures or asks. That's the right answer every single time: just accept someone's no and then back right off.

Asking or otherwise pressing over and over isn't the right answer. "Not giving up" (which often looks a whole lot like harassment) isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind through their friends or family also isn't the right answer. And while it should be obvious, we so sadly know that it isn't: no kind of violence is ever the right answer.

What’s In A No?



What's so scary about asking when someone else may say no? Rejection. Read on to dial down the fear factor and learn to accept no like a pro.

Can I Start Dating When I Have a Mental Illness?

Steelflower
asks:
I'm a seventeen-year-old girl and ten months ago, I was diagnosed with a light form of pseudologica fantasia, usually known as mythomania. The basis of this illness is an addiction to telling lies....

I'm asexual, but my partner wants to have sex: should I just compromise and do it?

Nehremi
asks:
I'm Asexual and currently engaged in a romantic relationship with a woman. She really wants to have sex, I'm not really into it. We've done other things I really like, like making out and heaving petting. How do I tell her that I don't want to sleep with her without making her feel inferior, undesirable and bad about herself? I'm scared to hurt her. Should I just compromise and sleep with her?...

Some basic gay-tiquette

Capturetheworld
asks:
My best friend just came out to me and I came out to him... now he wants to have sexual relations, what do I do? It all happened a week ago. He told me he was bi, I told him that I am gay. After an awkward conversation he told me that he wanted to have sex with me minus an actual relationship and he told me that he prefers women but likes men as well....

I'm In the (Friend) Zone

Anonymous
asks:
I'm a male high school student and, frankly, also a cliche. I'm the basic "friend" and I really don't want to be that. I have a lot of guy friends and a lot of girl friends, but no girlfriend. This may sound stupid, but I don't want this to be a foreshadowing of the rest of my life to come. I've never really had a girlfriend, and don't get me wrong, my friends are great....

I had casual sex, and my friends reacted pretty badly. Now what?

morphobutterfly
asks:
I'm a 20 year old girl, who's...well, I'm not going to say perfectly confident, because I do have some fairly major esteem issues, but I know my own mind, I'm independent & I'm not one to go with the crowd just because it's the "done" thing. Three years ago a guy I was making out with on a regular basis, assaulted me sexually....

I'm her one and only...and I don't think that's a good thing.

somethingeasytoremember
asks:
My friend wants to be in a relationship with me, but I am afraid to because I am her only means of support (that's not me being full of myself, she's actually said that) and if things were to turn sour I have two parents and countless friends and trusted adults whom I have no problems talking to, whereas she would have no one to talk to, me being her only confidant, and she can't very well talk to...

I know consent is awesome, but rejection is not!

Anonymous
asks:
I know guys should ask for consent, but can you say some stuff about handling rejection? What about the times when she says no? This would be really helpful - because it's really hard not to take it personally - and that's probably the biggest reason guys don't ask, because they fear rejection....