queer

Birth Control Bingo

Newly updated, our big 25-page guide to birth control options provides in-depth info on contraceptive choices to help you find your BC BFF.

How can I protect my partner from HPV?

Lucilabolof asks:

I'm a 15-y/o girl who has recently fell in love with a 15-y/o girl that I met in December.
We've made it clear that we have romantic and sexual interests about each other, even though we think it's still too soon.
She knows that I've been sexually active with multiple partners for a couple years, and she's very enthusiastic about experiencing new feelings and desires (I'm the first female she's ever been interested in.)
We both agree that we're OK at the moment, but... I have HPV. She doesn't know because we haven't even had that much physical contact yet and we both agree that we want to wait for a while. I don't want her to be scared about it if we sometime decide we're going to have sex.
I have found no actual studies about how common is lesbian HPV transmission, so there is no way for me to talk her about the possibilities of getting the STI.
And even if there were reliable charts and stuff about this, I want her to be the safest she can be with me. Like, 100% safe of whatever could happen to her. I'm THAT in love.
I know and use the most common methods of safe lesbian sex, like using different condoms for toys, using gloves for intercourse, and female condoms for oral sex. But, STILL...
She's very excited about this whole I'm-gonna-lose-my-virginity-with-you thing, and I don't want to dissappoint her. There is no way to make sure that, if we scissor, she won't get infected. And she has told me that she'd like to scissor.
I mean, if she agreed to have sex with me even with the STI, I wouldn't want to. 'Cause I really want to take care of her. I'd feel extremely guilty if she got ill because of me. I'd like to protect her from all bad things even though that's impossible.
(I know I'm very cheesy and protective, she's OK with it too.)
What should I do? To have sex, or not to have sex?

A problem with "premature" ejaculation...maybe isn't premature ejaculation.

ctguy asks:

My boyfriend and I started having sex about a week ago. Our first time was also my first time having sex. The three times we've had sex so far, I've finished a lot earlier than him, and a lot earlier than I want to. Basically I'm on the brink of coming by the time things get hot and heavy near the end of foreplay. I have no problem getting him off and I've managed to hide my quickness so far by pretending to come into a condom or tissue. But it's hard to keep up the ruse, and sex would obviously be a lot more enjoyable if I had control over my own stamina. Is this something that happens to all guys their first few times, or is there something I can do to fix it?

Straight, Gay and Everything in Between: On Sexual Fluidity

In an episode of the Mtv show 'Faking It', the main character Amy expresses being interested in a boy. Since this comes on the heels of Amy confessing her love for her female best friend at the end of the first season, many viewers felt frustrated and confused. Wasn't Amy a lesbian? Had she not just come out? What was she doing making eyes at that boy?

Figuring Out How to be a Lesbian Safer Sexpert

When I started having sex with girls, there was no one cheering, especially not encouraging me to have safer sex. But over the last few years, I’ve finally begun to feel confident with safer sex, and it’s improved my sex life a million percent. I wish I’d gotten comfortable with it sooner.

He's Queer, I'm Straight, and It's Great Except...

elinor asks:

Help! I'm in a relationship with a man (I identify as a straight woman) who identifies as queer. He's mostly had sex with men in the past (there might have been 1 woman), but this is first heterosexual relationship. It's also my first relationship with a queer man. I really care for him, but I am struggling with checking my own heteronormative attitudes. For example, I don't know how to get over the fact that he enjoys watching gay porn, and mostly gets off to men. We still have great sex together and I know he is attracted to me, and I try to remind myself of this when I find myself getting bothered by what turns him on. I'm learning to love, not accept, that he is queer and that he has made me shift my thinking about relationships and sexuality so much. However, I still don't know how to get myself out of these moments, sometimes ongoing, of insecurity.

The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone

Everyone has a sexual orientation and a sexual identity. Here are some basics and not-so-basics about what orientation is, some of the ways we can talk about it, how to figure yours out, and finding support.