pressure

Do Drugs and Booze Make You Better in Bed?

Submitted by Heather on Wed, 05/14/2008 - 15:29.

A recent study was released which shows that European teens are using alcohol and recreational drugs with the intentional aim of improving their sex lives.


He couldn't get it up: is it because of me?

first timer asks:

I'm 17,and I have been dating this guy for like a year. We just started having sex, and the other day we were going to but he wanted me to give him head before so he would last longer...then he could not get it back up. He tried hard to but it just wouldn't. Was it me? Can I just not do it for him or something?

He's 15, and we've tried everything, so why can't he get it up and get off?

Cheybaby asks:

My boy friend is 15, has never had an erection and every time we want to have sex we can't. He thought it might be a medical problem but he asked the doctor and said no medical problem here. We have tried everything. The first thing we tried was dry humping and nothing happened and then I tried grinding him they say that can be very arousing but it didn't work. I let him look at porn and nothing happened. More suggestions?

Neither of us are reaching orgasm, but I need him to.

Frustrated asks:

I'm 17 and I have a boyfriend of 7 months, and we're both very much in love. We had sex 4 months ago and he didn't reach orgasm and I got the sense he was frustrated so we stopped trying until last weekend. We both really wanted it but the same situation happened where he didn't reach orgasm and I feel like it's my fault and that I'm just not hot enough for him. I never reach orgasm during sex but I always enjoy it and I want to have sex but the problem is I don't want to do it if he's not enjoying himself or feels frustrated and I also don't want to come off as though I want sex all the time because I'm his first girlfriend and he hadn't done anything sexual before me - not even kiss - whereas I was not a virgin upon entering the relationship, so I don't want to come off as if I'm a rushing things all the time. After all this, my question is: What can I do to make my boyfriend enjoy sex enough to orgasm? He has never finished during sex and I get the feeling he's frustrated with it and would rather I suck him off but I always want sex when we're fooling around and I love him so much I want us both to be able to pleasure each other at the same time.

I don't want to give a guy oral sex...but maybe I do?

Down Under asks:

I come here quite often to browse and get information I need, and now I need some advice.

Since I was 13 and started dating and getting more intimate I decided I didn't want to go down on a guy. I had quite a few reasons for it and on top of it I just found it abnormal. Well now I'm 15 and have been in a relationship for quite some time now. Me and my boyfriend talk about sex openly, what each of us are ready and not ready for, and this really does work. He knows my stand point on the no going down thing, though he has done that for me. I know he doesn't expect it back, but he does say that he really wants to. And I find myself compelled to at some points. Does this mean I'm a hypocrite, turning my back on what I've believed? Every time we bring it up I always tell him I'm paranoid, I have researched what you can get from doing something like that. I just don't know, can you help me?

He's older, I'm intimidated and unsure

luv_cool_gemini asks:

I am a 15 year old girl and I have a boyfriend who is 20 we are going out for about two months we both love each other and till now we have had only one private moment were we smooched and he touched my breasts after asking and he tried to touch my privates like he just placed his finger there but he didn't go inside I told him that I didn't like it so he withdrew when we smooched again he took my hand to his penis but I jerked it off . We both are true to each other he has got a blowjob once from a girl n he has also fingered her and I too have given a blowjob to my ex but I am scared if I get pregnant and I also can't tell him to use condoms because he doesn't like it he also tells about having sex with me but I am just fifteen so what do I do? I also want to and don't want to give him a blowjob because I am scared that I will get pregnant and will he think wrong of me if I give him one? Because I don't want this relation to break.

She's 21 but not ready for sex: is that normal?

Voroso asks:

My girlfriend is 21 and I am 20. I am so eager to have sex but she tells me she is not ready. At 21 is this normal?

Sex as punishment?

Krystal asks:

My husband and I have sex a lot...well it used to be more before I got pregnant with our daughter. Anyways, he has pushed for anal sex-which hurts so much-and the second time I let him go ahead and do it I was crying so much afterwards that he said he'd never ask again...but he has, and when I say no he pushes. I feel like he's punishing me for having cheated on last year...it's like by hurting me physically he's getting back at me for hurting him emotionally. Is that right? And is there any way I can make anal not hurt so much - lube doesn't help but so much.

Am I Blue?

Kaitlynne asks:

I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

I gave a guy a blow job unprotected because I wanted to see his penis. What did I risk?

Jillsummer asks:

My friends and I have been giving blow jobs to our boyfriends at school instead of having sex with them. This year we're freshmen and my best friend told me of a junior boy with a really big D. We're not sluts or anything, but we have talked it over quite a few times and wanted to see if it was true. During Christmas break we went to a party and even though we were really nervous, we cornered him in the basement and asked to see it. He agreed to show it to us as long as we gave him a hand job. We weren't keen on the idea, but agreed. He was huge, twice as big as our boyfriends easily and we could both fit both of our hands on it at once. Just as the boy was ready to shoot his load, he said one of us would have to swallow. Neither of us wanted to, but he said we had to and he thrust himself into my mouth as he ejaculated. I was embarrassed and nervous and didn't know what to do, so I finally swallowed an entire mouthful of what tasted like mucus. We left the party immediately and I tried to throw up, but couldn't. I'm not sick yet, but could swallowing his load do something to me?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

Can't orgasm because of antidepressants?

shinyverse893 asks:

My boyfriend and I are both sophomores in high school. We've been together for two years, and it's a first relationship for both of us. We've decided to wait to have actual sex until we're out of high school, but we are sexually active (as in generally being sexually intimate, including oral sex, basically everything but the actual act). My problem is, no matter how intense whatever we're doing gets, he can't come. We didn't think it was a problem, but now he's at the point where he feels like he should... just can't. Since this is a first relationship, we both have no prior experience and are really at a loss as what to do. He's really shy and won't talk to his doctor about it, so I decided to ask here. He's on Zoloft (depression meds) so we're wondering if that might have something to do with it. He's been able to a couple times that we know of in his sleep, but other than that it isn't working. He's incredibly worried that there's something wrong with him. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you!

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris asks:

This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend.

We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it. I have a very confused penis as it would last normally (let's say 10 minutes) but then more often it goes out of control and I ejaculate to soon.

She is very supportive and tries to go slow or is patient when I have to stop every 5 seconds. But come on, this isn't sex. I'm fighting a battle every time. I try to relax and use different condoms for sensitivity but I still get the same end result PE! I do know I have a high sex drive ( I love the idea of sex a lot) she is hot and the fact she wants it all the time is hot too but I find sometimes it makes me a bit nervous because of my problem.

I know in my past I do get stressed, sometimes I don't sleep regularly, or get the proper exercise as needed, and I got a lot on my mind but I know others like that and they don't have PE or at least tell me that. When I was with her I wasn't stressed or anything and I still get it. Can you please help me.

I need to know EXACTLY how to have sex with my boyfriend.

Coolblue asks:

I love your site and need some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We are both seniors in high school. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend will soon turn 18. We are both virgins. We have talked about sex but have not done it. When we have it we both want it to be with someone we care about and want it special. We both agree that it is natural and can be beautiful if it is done for the sake of love. We kiss, pet, and have made out but not done it.

His 18th birthday falls on a Friday this year and I am having a birthday party for him. We will have some friends come over to celebrate. I have asked him what he wants for his birthday and he told me about a few non-sexual things that he would wish for. I think that he would really like to have sex on his 18th birthday. I know I would. My parents will be way on business for the weekend of the party. This seems like a great time to express our love to each other physically. I would like to give him the gift of sex for his birthday. I have several questions. Maybe you could answer them.