pleasure

All About S.E.X.: The Scarleteen Book!

Get your hands on S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Heather Corinna! Check out reviews, the table of contents and a myriad of places you can get your very own copy of THE sexuality primer for every body.

Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Thinking about partnered sex? Do yourself a favor and look through our checklist to get a good idea bout the readiness of you and your partner -- it's more complicated and demanding than many people think, and knowing what you need to get ready can help assure that your sexual experiences with a partner will be as great for both of you as possible.

My friends say I have to have anal sex to prove I'm not a virgin to them.

Katie asks:

My friends are telling me I am still a virgin in their eyes because I have not had anal sex. The idea is scary to me. I do not think I want to do anal sex. They call me a chicken because I have not tried it. Is there any advice you can give me to maybe change my mind and get me through it?

He says he doesn't like condoms, so should we use withdrawal instead?

Bam+Bam+ItsSam asks:

I am a 15 (almost 16) year old virgin. My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex. We love each other, we are both mature and know everything, and we both ARE ready. He isn't a virgin, he had sex once before. While having a discussion on the phone he mentioned to me about this round-a-bout and that he doesn't like using condoms. I am completely 100% for condoms and would never risk myself getting pregnant or getting something (even though I know he doesn't have anything). But he insists that he barely pre-cums and when he does "finish" he knows beforehand. I know guys just say that. I've thought about it and maybe after were used to intercourse I'll think about the pull out method. But ONLY if we use another type of protection.

What do you think about the pull out method? For the other question I have, what is safer to use, in a girl's point of view? Morning after pill? The Ring? Birth control? How can I get my hands on a Morning after pill? Thanks ever so much.

P.S. your site rocks =]

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Ready But Waiting asks:

I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience a sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience. It's like everyone else getting their license and you're still riding your bike to school. I have another dilemma that rebukes this
problem as well - I'm waiting for the "right guy" to `come along. But the trouble with that is, I don't know who "Mr.Right" is! Sure I've dated and such but they never seem right for me. Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Does a woman do anything on top?

stupid asks:

If the girl is on the top while having sex, does she do anything or does he do the work?

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

ctr asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

Female Ejaculation and Partnered Sex?

Minnie asks:

I searched this site after having a weird experience while masturbating, which I have now come to realize is female ejaculation. The thing is I absolutely hate the feeling that goes along with that, so I have since stopped masturbating to avoid it happening again. However I currently have a partner and we are beginning to consider becoming sexually active (we know how to protect ourselves, and are above the age of consent in our area no worries) however I was wondering if there is anything I can do to avoid female ejaculation while being stimulated by my partner. I find it to be pretty gross, though I have talked to my partner about it I am unsure as to whether or not he is ok with it. Any help you could give would be appreciated. Thank you.

Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown

Throw a rock at any sex education site or service, ask what the most common question we get is from men and we'll all tell you that it's about penis size. We don't imagine with this piece we'll never get asked again, but we're hoping these answers get you guys better filled in so you can feel good about yourselves, your penises and whatever you do (or don't) do with them.

Quick Hits: Twenty-One Kinds of No

Anabela (and company) asks:

Does anal sex make your hips and bottom larger?

How can I make my orgasms last longer?

Sally asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex along with oral sex for a while now. I find it most pleasurable during oral sex when he uses his tongue on my clitoris. Is there any way in which I can make the orgasm last longer?

I've been faking, but I just don't want to tell him.

Jane asks:

I'm seventeen years old and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for the year that we have been together. I have faked orgasm almost every time we have had intercourse. I have read your site and read the dialogue you have provided on how to come clean about this form of dishonesty. However, I feel that at this point I am not sure the best thing to do is come clean. I would like your thoughts on what sort of dialogue I should be having with my boyfriend concerning different things we can do so that I can achieve orgasm, without hurting his feelings. Do you think it's healthy to not tell him at all and move on towards a healthier relationship?

Will hell freeze over before I reach orgasm?

Reina asks:

Hello, I have browsed your web page and didn't exactly find what I was looking for so I am wondering if you could answer my question. Yes, it is orgasm related. You see I have been sexually active for a long time. I am 17 and I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He was a virgin when he met me but I wasn't.

The problem with me is: I have never had an orgasm. I know what you are going to say. "Not all women have an orgasm during intercourse." I get that, but I never had an orgasm during masturbation, or foreplay. Nothing. And now I am kind of pressuring myself to go. Well, not exactly pressuring myself, but in my mind I go: "Yes, right there, omg I am gonna come." When in truth, I am nowhere close. My brain might have just been sexually turned on to the max at that point, but I just don't go.

How can I stop being afraid to touch him because I don't know what the heck I'm doing?

jediskye asks:

Hi, I am 19 years old, and I've been with my boyfriend for about two months now. He's my first proper relationship and I was also a virgin before I had sex with him. My problem is that I am too shy to initiate sex, and I am almost at the point of tearing my hair out because I am getting so frustrated about it. I am comfortable around him, and I love having sex with him, but I just can't bring myself to touch him, every time I'm about to touch him there I stop and wonder whether he'll enjoy it.

He is way more experienced than me, and I have never stroked a guy's penis before or given them a blowjob. I just don't want him to feel nothing when I'm touching him. Is there any way I can overcome this? And could you give me some tips on how I could turn him on without feeling like an idiot?