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I didn't bleed, and now everyone is saying I wasn't really a virgin.

confused asks:

This site is amazing. I've followed many of the articles here and they've helped me alot throughout my questioning days.

But now, I've heard a lot about womens hymens being the maker and/or breaker of their virginity but in my case it wasn't. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 2 years a few days ago, and I didn't bleed like my friends told me I would. I had the tiniest spot of blood on my panties when I got home that night. My boyfriend is trying to question if I was a virgin or not to begin with, my friends are trying to say I must have had sex before. Now my boyfriend is starting to feel bad because he doesn't feel like he was "big" enough to break my virginity. I don't feel like losing my boyfriend because I might have a stretchier hymen that didn't need to be "popped".

How could I make them all realize this without sounding like a know-it-all pervert ??

Erection for almost an hour: what should we do?

Macy asks:

My boyfriend is 22 this year and he has had one sexual partner before me, I am 21 and he is the first person I've ever had a sexual relationship with. We've been having sex for almost a year and we've been together for about two years. I was wondering whether it is normal for a guy to be able to have an erection that lasts for 40 minutes (at least) to almost an hour (sometimes more) in bed? He tells me that a lot of girls want a guy who can last long in bed, but unfortunately for me (and ironically, him as well), I can never find the stamina to keep going for that long - we both do our parts and take turns with who is on top, but I reckon this is due to the whole process taking about 3 hours at least because of foreplay and the cuddling after sex. If we take a break, either of us will just lose the mood to continue. It is the same whether or not I give him a hand/blow job before we start having sex - he still maintains his erection for a very long time. I do get frustrated because of how long it can take, and although there are times when I do enjoy him being able to last so long, other times I'd rather just have a quickie. Is there anything we can do about this? Or is it just something certain guys have? I don't want to ask him about his previous sexual relationship because I'm comfortable not knowing the details.

Another question I have is whether a guy can be too used to his own hands when he masturbates, so much so that no matter how I try I can't get him to cum no matter what method I use when I'm giving him a blow/hand job (just my hands, hands and mouth, mouth only) which is what I do when he needs a release and I'm having my period. The reason I'm asking is also because when I'm tired or sore from all the vigorous sexercise, sometimes I try to finish him off with a hand/blow job but it's the same and it doesn't get him off unless he takes over and does it himself.

He doesn't complain about it, and doesn't force me to do anything that I am not comfortable with, but I do want to be able to satisfy him from beginning until the end because he never fails to satisfy me. Am I missing anything here?

I'm a sexual abuse survivor: how do I get okay being intimate again?

Anonymous asks:

I'm 15 years old and was sexually abused for two years in the past. How do I get over my intimacy issues?

The last boyfriend I had, anytime we were physically intimate, my chest would get really tight, I'd often start to shake, and I'd go into this blank zone where I'd just stare at the ceiling and my body would be completely unresponsive. It was really scary. Sometimes he would notice and ask me if I was alright, and I would just kind of nod numbly so I wouldn't disappoint him. Since that relationship, I've dated a little, but now it's gotten to the point where even kissing makes my stomach roil. I've had to stop seeing them so I wouldn't be put into a situation where they would try something physical. I cannot bear the thought of anything remotely sexual, and I feel like it's rapidly becoming an unstoppable downwards spiral.

I want to enjoy intimacy, not be terrified and repulsed by it. It's odd having my sisters gush over how good it feels when I just want to throw up. I feel really abnormal. I also feel like I'm never going to have a working relationship because what guy is going to want to be with a girl like me? It's frustrating, because I'm perfectly okay with all the other aspects of a relationship (of course I'd like to have someone to hang out with and cuddle with and all of that), but I'd just like it without the sex part.

What should I do? Is there any way I can fix this? I'm currently in therapy, but I still don't feel quite ready to open up and tell my therapist about my intimacy issues. It's easier this way. I hope you can help, I don't know what to do and I certainly don't want to get any worse!

He wants me to be a freak, but I just want to lay there.

Anonymous asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for a while but am shy too have sex. I just lay there without making any noises and I don't do any positions and I also make him turn off the lights so I won't see him an he won't see me. I wanna break out of my shell, he cares about me a lot but I am scared he is going to leave because there is no excitement in our sex life. I WANT him to enjoy me I care about him a lot and I don't want to lose him. I WANT to be a freak in bed and make him want to have sex with me he doesn't even wanna have sex because he says am boring. I don't wanna do anything but lay there. Thank you.

He isn't okay with condoms, so I'm starting the patch. Is that safe enough?

Anonymous asks:

I'm planning to start taking birth control, patches to be more specific. My boyfriend and I used to just use just the withdrawal method before we started using condoms and he is still very uncomfortable with condoms. He cannot be as aroused when he has it on. I know sex feels better without a condom but, I would like to know if using a condom is completely necessary when already taking another type of birth control, like the pill or the patch? What do most women regularly do?

Will I get pregnant if I only take my birth control pills after sex?

Anonymous asks:

I often have unprotected sex with my ex-fiance. Stupid I know. But I am supposed to be on birth control pills. In June, after we split I stop taking them. Now in December we have had intercourse multiple time again. I have two questions. If I take a pill every time after our intercourse (which I've been doing), will I get pregnant? And will that mess up my body?

I'm 15 and bisexual, but how do I know for sure?

Anonymous asks:

Hey, I'm 15, just turned, and bisexual. I can help but wonder if this is because of my hormones or if I really do like girls and guys. I mean, I like kissing both sexes, but I haven't had intercourse yet, and I need to find some way of determining how I feel. I'm proud to say I'm bi, but I don't want to be saying it and lying.

She doesn't want to talk about sex or have sex with me anymore: why?

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for one and a half years and are in a long distance relationship (I visit her once a month). When we first starting dating (it wasn't long distance then) she was crazy in bed and really open about sex. But recently she has been wanting to talk less and less about sex. She doesn't say anything if I even mention something that is sexually related. I asked her why, and she said that she doesn't feel like thinking about that kind of stuff and that she feels dirty for thinking about it. She doesn't seem to have ANY sort of sexual attraction to me when just a few months ago she couldn't keep her hands off of me. I understand that she is going to college and is very stressed out, but can stress completely shut off someone's sex drive? How can I talk to her without offending her or making her think that sex is all that I am interested in.

My breasts failed his sexual fantasy.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old. We've been going out for almost 8 months now. We don't have sex, but we still fool around a lot. My boyfriend used to watch a lot of porn, so he has some really crazy ideas sometimes. I don't mind them and find most of them really interesting. The other night we decided to try when a guy places a penis between your breasts and thrusts until ejaculating. I insisted we didn't because of one problem- I'm a 32 A. Now keep in mind that I'm content with my breast size. However, I used to think it was abnormal to be so small since all the girls in my family are at least a B. Most are at least a C. So this moment really frustrated me and even provoked me to feel insecure about my breast size.....again. Of course our adventure failed because I just don't have enough cleavage to hold him in place.

My boyfriend loves me very much, we both plan to spend our lives together, and we lovingly accept each other for who we are. But I know he was dissapointed and that really made an effect on me. Even though he still loves me, it hurts to be unable to satisfy a fantasy.

Is sex supposed to hurt?

funkgurl asks:

I just lost my virginity more than a week ago. Everytime me and my BF have sex it always hurts, usually a few hours after doing it I start to bleed. I've asked my friends if thats normal but they don't know. Is that normal? I also wanted to asked why I haven't been feeling any pleasure yet? Is that bad? I would like it if you would please answer my questions I don't know where else to go and ask.

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