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partner

She's my first sexual partner: I love her, but should I only ever be with her?

Dan asks:

I'm 19 and have been with my girlfriend for almost three years, except a couple months break last year when I broke up with her for fear of commitment. She's a year younger than me, and prior to our relationship, she had done some oral sex and handjobs with two guys. I've never been sexually active with anyone other than her. We were both each other's first sexual intercourse partner. During our break apart last year, she had sex with another guy. Long story short, I love my girlfriend tons. I recently got a new job and we moved across the country together and now have an apartment. We're very happy together and have what I would consider a very healthy relationship.

In the back of my head, though, I am always jealous of her sexual history. She's been with 3 other guys, and I've never even seen another girl naked in person. I've seen figures that men typically have around 8 sexual partners in their lifetimes. I feel horrible for thinking this, but it really bothers me that if I stay with my girlfriend (which I want to -- I really feel that I could be with her forever), I'll never have sex with another girl, because I have my morals, and I could never cheat on anyone. I'm not even sure what I'm asking, but do you have any advice for guys (or girls) in my situation?

How many partners do most people have in their lives, and is everyone serially monogamous?

Kalira asks:

I'm so used to seeing TV shows with the "bachelor" who constantly sleeps around and never has a partner, or the one who's looking for "the one" and falls in love and looses someone new every five episodes. And at school, I'm used to everyone dating for a week, then more or less switching partners, or randomly sleeping together.

My question is: How many partners do most people have in their life time? And do one-week stands count as a small relationship? How short can a relationship be, and how long can it before moving on and finding someone new becomes really hard? Can people be in committed, loving, polygamous relationships, or have different partners for different things (like someone else for especially rough sex you wouldn't want to subject a gentler emotional-lover to)?

Why aren't you psychic?

HELP101 asks:

I'm 21 and me and my fiance have been sexually active for quite a while now. He says that sex isn't boring, BUT (and the but is never good) he wants to be able to say "Wow, she is a freak!" when we get done. I don't know what he is looking for, but I'm up to try anything. He says he won't tell me exactly what he wants me to do because then it won't be a surprise when I do it. I just don't want sex to get boring between us, so I need some advice.

How do you tell when women are done having sex?

Liam asks:

I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? Because I've always been told in sex ed that the guy is "finished" once he cums & that girls don't always ejaculate during sex. But I never really thought to ask about when a girl is "finished." So when does a guy know the sex has finished for both, if the girl doesn't always "finish off" like guys do?

What if my boyfriend doesn't listen to me when we have sex?

Violet asks:

I have never ever had sex before. My BF is great: he knows me, and he likes having fun. We're both about the same age. If he's energetic, what should I do if he gets out of control? His listening skills aren't that great.

He likes it rough and I want it gentle: are we hopeless?

Minny asks:

I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.

For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.

He says he doesn't like condoms, so should we use withdrawal instead?

Anonymous asks:

I am a 15 (almost 16) year old virgin. My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex. We love each other, we are both mature and know everything, and we both ARE ready. He isn't a virgin, he had sex once before. While having a discussion on the phone he mentioned to me about this round-a-bout and that he doesn't like using condoms. I am completely 100% for condoms and would never risk myself getting pregnant or getting something (even though I know he doesn't have anything). But he insists that he barely pre-cums and when he does "finish" he knows beforehand. I know guys just say that. I've thought about it and maybe after were used to intercourse I'll think about the pull out method. But ONLY if we use another type of protection.

What do you think about the pull out method? For the other question I have, what is safer to use, in a girl's point of view? Morning after pill? The Ring? Birth control? How can I get my hands on a Morning after pill? Thanks ever so much.

P.S. your site rocks =]

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Does a woman do anything on top?

stupid asks:

If the girl is on the top while having sex, does she do anything or does he do the work?

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

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