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Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

From both our personal experiences of our own varied sex lives, and in our work in sexuality with many other people, it seems pretty clear that really letting someone into an internal space in your body, or going into someone else's insides -- which we know might sound a little gross, but that is what's going on with this stuff -- is a fairly big deal for many people. So, what might make sexual entry different from other sexual activities?

We’re Christians; I’m ready for sex but he wants to wait

Anonymous asks:

Binx_mojo asks:I am ready to have sex and my boyfriend is, too, but wants to wait because we are both Christians. Should I wait for him or should I dump him? What should I do?

Sex and some change

Anonymous asks:

Me and my boyfriend plain to marry after school. I really love him and I really want him the same way he wants me, but I am scared about if we have sex then he leaves me. I don't want to lose him.

Out, out damn smell!

Anonymous asks:

I am 23 years old and I am extremely self conscious about vaginal odor. I don't like my boyfriend to perform oral sex because I am so worried that I smell bad. I scrub and scrub my genitals in the shower but an hour later the smell is back. When I asked my OB/GYN about it he said that he would check me for STD's but never explained anything to me. I haven't had an STD ever and I have had this since I was 13, what is it? How do I know if its normal? Please help!

Dueling Libidos

Ruby asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I am lucky if we have sex once every week or once every 2 weeks.
A healthy sex life means a lot to me, I would rather every day or every couple of days, but when I ask him for sex he is tired, he uses the excuse that he works shifts and we have a baby. Well, she is my baby too, but I always have the time and energy for sex. How do I explain that it's just not enough for me without really upsetting him? I should know after 3 yrs but I'm still none the wiser.

We waited two years for good sex together... and even after sex, we're still waiting.

Jennifer asks:

I only started having sex about 3 months ago. I'm 20 and I made my fiancee wait almost 2 years. The problem that I noticed is that I never orgasm when he's inside. He has no problem with using his fingers on me but why can't I when he is inside. I mean I can feel it coming and it feels great but it never happens it's like I get sooo close and I'm on the edge and then I just stay there and I know he's frustrated cause he thinks it's his fault so he tried harder and harder each time to try to find positions I like and such. We are trying to use more foreplay to see if maybe if I'm close beforehand, and it will make things easier but I'm still waiting. It's soo frustrating cause I enjoy the closeness of sex with him but it's not very fulfilling.

Navigating sex and sexuality after a long history of abuse and assault

Sara asks:

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

Upstairs, downstairs

Anonymous asks:

I couldn't get it up and I'm 19! It was going to be the first time for me and my girlfriend, but the man downstairs didn't respond! I didn't feel nervous, I felt confident that I would be fine. But when the mood struck I couldn't deliver. Now not only do I feel like crud, I'm hoping that the next time it happens that the little soldier downstairs decides to take some action... It felt like the most disappointing thing in my life. I was tired. If that is a factor, then maybe I just need a good nights sleep and another go at it? Any advice would be amazing.

What does sex feel like?

Curious asks:

I have never had sex before, and before I do I want to really know what it is like from other people. I want to know what it feels like.

But I still want more!

Amanda asks:

How do I turn my boyfriend on again after we already had sex one time? I am a pretty good looking young girl and I like to have sex more than once a day if its on the weekend, and not planned sex either. Like if I feel like my boyfriend looks really good I want to show that. But after we have sex it only lasts for like 5-6 minutes and then he's done, and I am just getting started. But he says he's tired and can't possibly do it again and it's like a big deal for him. He's only 21, so I'm just wondering maybe he has a problem? He eats A LOT OF CRAP like sweets and stuff: maybe that has something to do with it. I tried to get him to see a doctor but I think that only pissed him off. A healthy sex life is EXTREMELY important to me. What do I do?

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