negotiation

Learning My Way Through My Poly Fears

Dynamics like mine require a lot of honesty, and often speaking honestly can make you feel vulnerable, but showing vulnerability to a partner is a good way to build trust and intimacy. At the same time, you learn a lot about yourself as you're forced to ask yourself tough questions and to think carefully about what you want from a relationship and why - in turn, this makes you appreciate the reasons you want to be with your partner(s), and what it is about being with them that makes you happy.

I want more kink, but I don't know how to ask a partner for it.

Anonymous asks:
I am a sexual deviant. I am willing to try anything, yet I have not had partners that have taken things to the next level. Just basics: spanking, hair-pulling, dirty talk, choking. I want to express these desires to be bound up, dominated, and exploring my physical boundaries with my partner yet what is inside my head never comes out as erotic as I imagine....

My boyfriend keeps asking about my sexual history!

Anonymous asks:
Ever since I opened up to my boyfriend about my sexual history he won't stop talking about it! At first I didn't mind him asking because he was very understanding and non judgemental about it so it made me feel more comfortable with him. But over time he soon became obsessive about it asking me every night to tell him about each experience in detail....

I like fantasizing about it: would I like it for real?

Prozac4490
asks:
I like to fantasize about being spanked when I masturbate, and I'm wondering if I would like it in real life sex play, too. Trouble is, I'm a little nervous about the idea of actually trying it out, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my boyfriend if he'd be cool with that! What should I do?...

His Religious Beliefs Are No Condoms, But I Need Them. What Do I Do?

sapphire12758
asks:
The guy I'm sleeping with really wants to have PIV sex with me, but he won't wear a condom because he's Roman Catholic. Everything else we've done has been amazing and I really want to do it, but I'm terrified of getting pregnant and I've already had a scare that I haven't told him about. I'm on the pill now, but I know that it isn't 100% effective....

STI Testing, Safer Sex Social How-Tos, Fresh Starts and a Bittervention

frenchiemathwhiz
asks:
Heather: I have a question about STD testing, but it's together with a lot of other stuff, so I'm giving you some of the whole story. My long-term boyfriend just broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue. We were together for several of the most tumultuous years of our lives—we dealt with so much stuff, I can't even describe it....

After Contraception or Commitment, Why You Still Gotta Rock Safer Sex

We sometimes deal with a tough situation in direct service: a user comes in, and reports having contracted an STI; a user who also isn't a first-time user of our site or services, and who, in a previous conversation with us about pregnancy risks, blew off also talking about STIs and safer sex and turned down help we offered to them to reduce their STI risks, not just pregnancy risks.

This is one of those things where there's no joy or pride in being right: it stinks to be right about someone getting any kind of illness and being unhappy.

He gets oral sex from me: what can I do to get him to give me some?

starriestknight
asks:
I'm 19 and have been with my boyfriend (also 19) for a little over two years. In the last year, our relationship has progressed sexually (but both of us have decided not to have intercourse). A few months ago, he performed oral sex on me. I'd given him blowjobs before and he asked if he could reciprocate. Afterward, though, he was really quiet. I got the nerve to him about it....