My boyfriend and I had anal sex and then after went on to normal intercourse, can this cause infections?
I'm 13 and i just want to know out of curiosity if you can have sex if you haven't ever had your periods AT ALL? Does it make any difference if you've had them before or if you haven't? Is it really possible to just get your first period while you're in class or doing something and actually have enough blood come out for you (and everybody else) to see, or does it come gradually and you actually have enough time to go to the bathroom and put a napkin? It's kind of scary ^^
I am going on a graduation-required 28 day backpacking trip. It is likely that this will happen to fall around my period. What is the best way to work with your period when backpacking? Pads are out of the question, as they are not so great for letting your pelvic area "breathe" during exercise. Tampons...meh. I don't really want to have to carry the new ones in with me (extra weight), or the used ones out with me, like you have to do with all garbage. I thought a menstrual cup would be good, as it can be worn for a long time and there is no garbage involved--however, cleaning the cup might be complicated because polluting is a no-no out in the elements. Maybe I could use wipes of some sort? Are there wipes that don't have body-upsetting chemicals? It would be nice to not have to deal with this for just one month--are there any sorts of short term forms of menstrual suppressors that I could use just one time without huge side effects?
The people in charge of the whole thing don't seem very educated about other options, and simply reassure all of the girls that they can use tampons and carry around all the garbage.
Toni Weschler used to be my neighbor, a fact that caused me to squee more than a little loudly and scare the bejeezus out of my pets when I first discovered it. Sadly, we didn't connect as often as I wish we had before I moved out of Seattle and to a more remote island outside the city.
A while back, I sent Toni some questions for Scarleteen, and many months later, she apologized for sending them to me so late. Now I owe her an even bigger apology for publishing them far later than that!
If you don't know who Toni is, she's the author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement and Reproductive Health, which is pretty much THE book for people who want to chart fertility, and the book I used to learn how to do it well in my 20's. She also wrote a great book about menstruation and charting for teen women, called Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body. She's an amazingly dedicated and energetic person who also just happens to really, really like chocolate croissants.
You've dedicated your life's work to menstrual charting: why do you think charting, and awareness of menstrual cycles, is so important?
In a word, it’s incredibly empowering. In addition to helping to increase self-esteem by helping women to take control of their bodies and appreciate their incredible intricacies, charting is infinitely practical. It’s wonderful as an overall means of maintaining gynecological health, as a method of natural birth control, and as an aid to pregnancy achievement.
What myths about menstruation do you think do us the most harm?
Ovulation occurs on Day 14
First and foremost, I’d say the myth that ovulation occurs on Day 14. Not only is this myth responsible for more unplanned pregnancies, but also for untold numbers of women not being able to conceive.
The issue of unplanned pregnancies is huge. Unfortunately, most of us grow up hearing that the egg is released on Day 14, so if we just avoid that one day of our cycle, we can prevent pregnancy, right? Wrong! First of all, not all women ovulate on Day 14. Secondly, even if some women do ovulate on Day 14, the day of ovulation may vary from cycle to cycle. Thirdly, sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman’s body, so if a woman has sex on Monday, she can still get pregnant that following Friday!
The opposite ramification of this myth pertains to the issue of infertility, which can feel even more overwhelming for scores of women desiring to get pregnant. Again, a woman may ovulate on Day 14, but could just as well ovulate on any other day. So she could theoretically try for years to get pregnant by timing intercourse for that one mythical day, only to discover that she never ovulates then, but rather weeks later!
A normal menstrual cycle is 28 days
Actually, a normal menstrual cycle can vary from about 24-36 days. Not only do cycles vary substantially among girls and women, but they often vary within each individual person. There are numerous things that can impact a cycle. One of the most unfortunate results of this myth is the needless anxiety that it causes people who are led to believe over and over again that they may be pregnant because their periods are “late.”
Vaginal discharge is a symptom of an infection
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yes, it’s true that discharge can be a sign of an infection if it is accompanied by itching, odor, or inflammation, but the female body has a predictable way of revealing how healthy it really is. Every cycle, when a girl or woman is about to release an egg, she will produce a wet, slippery substance for several days leading up to ovulation. It is called cervical fluid, and is absolutely healthy!
So rather than feeling shame or running to the gynecologist every cycle when you produce this normal cervical fluid, take pride in the fact that your body is doing what it was designed to do!
A lot of young women tell us they want to avoid touching themselves genitally, an obvious problem in a lot of ways, but also when it comes to charting and menstruation. What do you think about that, and what do you think can help?
It’s so sad that in our society, boys are often raised to take pride in their bodies, especially their penises, while girls are taught to not even discuss what’s “down there.” So is it any wonder that girls feel uncomfortable with the idea of looking at their vulva, let alone touching it?
One of the best ways to help girls get over their squeamishness is to give them a mirror and encourage them to look at their vulva in private, after having taken a shower or bath. Once they feel comfortable in just looking at their external anatomy, they will probably feel more relaxed about touching their vaginal lips and exploring their bodies more.
Another way to help girls get over their squeamishness is to help them appreciate how amazing their female bodies really are. Once they learn all the incredible things their bodies do every cycle, they will take much more pride in them and undoubtedly want to get to know them better.
Do you see any trends in increases of reproductive health problems for young women, and if so, do you think they really are new, or are instead only just being diagnosed now (or, of course, misdiagnosed)?
Girls are tending to have sex earlier in the last few generations. And whenever someone has sex, their chances of contracting an STI increases. The younger a girl is when she starts to have sex, the more partners she will probably have, increasing her chances of developing a reproductive problem that could ultimately affect her fertility when she is older.
What makes this situation especially problematic is that the cervix in young girls is not fully developed, so that the most vulnerable part is most exposed to pathogens that can cause infections, reproductive problems, and even cancer.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a different situation. It is only relatively recently that physicians have started learning about the condition and its pervasiveness. Fortunately, girls are now being diagnosed and treated earlier, before it has a chance to impact them so negatively.
How do you feel about menstrual suppression, especially for younger women?
In a word (or two): Bad news! For starters, there hasn’t been any research yet on the long-term health effects of suppressing periods in women in general, and teens in particular. History has already shown us that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) had potentially disastrous effects on women, but its repercussions were discovered only after years and years of use.
What we do know is that periods are necessary to rid the body of excess iron which can help lower a woman’s risk for cardiovascular disease. In addition, periods wash away bacteria inside the reproductive tract. And probably most importantly for teens, suppression of menstruation is likely to interfere with bone and breast development, as well as long-term fertility.
And, of course, periods are nature’s way of alerting a woman to the fact that she is not pregnant. Without them, it would be next to impossible to know if or when a woman got pregnant.
Finally, girls should grow up understanding the amazing ways their bodies work. Menstruation is an indication of the health of their bodies, not something to be eliminated!
As you may know, at Scarleteen we do not yet endorse suppressing menstruation/continuous birth control -- using a hormonal method of birth control in order to skip withdrawal bleeds/periods -- for women under 18, because there still is yet to be any study done or published with adolescent women to evaluate if it is safe or medically sound for those in that stage of physical development.
There is yet no available data concerning the long term effects of menstrual suppression on a woman's overall health, at any age. I should also mention that no studies have been published yet about the safety or efficacy of suppressing periods with the patch or vaginal ring.
However, there have been published and reviewed studies for women over 18 using oral contraceptives for suppression. Even though sample sizes have been relatively small (and to my understanding, without control groups of women not using BCPs), and they have been short-term studies, they have provided enough information to make clear that it is probably safe for most older women. Those studies have also shown clearly that suppressing periods/withdrawal bleeds properly does not reduce the effectiveness of birth control methods in preventing pregnancy. Some women (of all ages) also have health conditions where even if they suppress periods, it is potentially or surely safer/better for their health and quality of life not to have them or to have them infrequently.
But older women's bodies aren't the same as women who are in the thick of their sexual development, and not wanting to have your period because your boyfriend is wigged out by it isn't a health condition. Sexual development usually is not finished completely by 18; most women under 18 are still in that process, and some women's health experts have had particular concerns regarding breast and cervical cell development in this regard, concerns we feel are sound, especially with no study done with that population to review.
The Society for Menstrual Cycle research mentions their concerns about adolescent women and suppression in their position paper here, a statement in alignment with Scarleteen's current position. Until we have studies to look at about teen women and suppression, we're going to stick to our stance of not yet recommending this and instead suggesting that if this is something you want to do, you discuss it with your doctor.
Because we're not going to endorse this here yet, we don't have a sheet on how to do this here yet, either. I don't feel comfortable giving a how-to on something when we don't yet have any evidence it can be safe, particularly something that for most users here asking about it, isn't about managing otherwise untreatable pain with menses, but is fully elective and solely about convenience or the perception of convenience (for example, the idea you can't go dancing or swimming with a run-of-the-mill period, or can't have sex with a partner on a specific date you or they want to because you're menstruating and they'd be all grossed out). Again, if this is about pain or other issues with menstruation nothing seems to be helping, or about conditions like endometriosis or mood disorders, please consult with your doctor who can consider you as an individual and do their best to assess if suppression is safe for you.
However, we keep getting users who think suppression means they can manipulate hormonal methods in ways that would decrease the effectiveness of those methods in preventing pregnancy, and we have had heard some readers who have risked pregnancy when they did not want to take that risk or have become pregnant because of bungling attempts at suppression. Our users who want to avoid periods usually also want to avoid pregnancy.
Here's the deal: skipping the PLACEBO period (the non-active pill period, or the week-off period with the ring or patch) of methods that can be used to suppress periods will NOT decrease your method's effectiveness, and THAT is the way you can -- with our caveat about questions of safety -- try and skip/reschedule periods.
In other words, if someone wants to do this, she starts a pill pack (or ring or patch) as usual at Day 1, she takes NO LESS than 21 active pills (with any given pack), and then when she gets to the placebo pills/week, she moves right to the next pack of active pills, patch or ring without taking that week off. That may result in some mid-cycle spotting, but women doing this usually (but not always) will not have a full withdrawal bleed until the next time they take that placebo/inactive week again at the next scheduled time for one in the following month's pill pack. There are also a couple pill brands expressly designed without placebo pills in them every month as part of the regimen.
What you CANNOT do, if you want those methods to remain effective at preventing pregnancy, is interrupt the active pill cycle or skip ACTIVE pills (or rings or patches).
In order for your hormonal method to prevent pregnancy, you MUST always take the active pills or parts of a method exactly as directed. If you stop taking active pills, rings or patches mid-cycle, or start them late, those methods will no longer be fully effective and may NOT prevent pregnancy.
If you would like more information on suppression in general, including references to the studies with post-pubescent women, see this page from the ARHP: http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/clinical-fact-sheets/menstrual-suppression
P.S. To be fully transparent, I personally have strong concerns about some of the attitudes about periods and menstrual suppression, and some of the unfounded claims about NOT suppressing, which I wrote about here. However, those opinions and feelings are separate from my concerns about safety and certainly separate from my addressing the issues of potentially and unintentionally risking unwanted pregnancy in attempts to manipulate periods.
What's charting? It's a person taking and keeping notes about their menstrual and fertility cycles. Those notes may be as little information as what days you get your period, may have more information, like what kind of flow you had and what discharges you experienced that month, or have just about anything and everything you can think of that does or may have something to do with your fertility cycle: your basal temperatures (a vaginal temp you take daily with a thermometer made for that purpose), your libido, your sleep patterns, the whole works. What information you include depends on what you want to observe, and what your needs in charting are.
When you hear about people charting their periods or overall fertility cycles, it's usually either about trying to conceive or using natural family planning (NFP or FAM) as a primary method of birth control. Many of you are not trying to conceive, and for younger people, NFP isn't a sound sole or primary method for you either because your cycles are still all over the place or because you're also using condoms to help prevent sexually transmitted infections.
But charting your cycles doesn't have to be about natural family planning. Even if you're not trying to become pregnant, or aren't looking to use charting as a primary method of birth control, there are a bunch of reasons charting can be a big benefit to you.
Because there's nothing innately mysterious about a body, and the last person it should be a mystery to is the person whose body it is.
This stuff we hear about how "mysterious" or "unfathomable" women's bodies or reproductive cycles are is mostly a bunch of hooey (and it's not just men to blame: some women like to milk that feminist mystique stuff, too). Honestly, sometimes I think people say that to try and make us think we can't possibly figure out our own bodies with our own widdle brains, and to try and keep us in the dark to serve their own agendas: it's happened historically before, after all. Our reproductive systems are complex, sure, but much of them isn't a mystery unless we simply choose not to get to know them or don't know how to interpret our observations.
When you start to observe and document the patterns of your cycles it's not so mysterious as to why you have thinner discharge at some times and thicker discharge at other times. It's no longer such a headscratcher to see that in the last week of your cycle, you might have some appetite changes, feel bloated or have a tougher time managing stress. It's a lot easier to understand how pregnancy happens. And the next time someone throws some dumbass snark your way by asking if you're so moody because you're on your period, you can snap back that, as a point of fact, you are not, but the fact that you ovulated a couple days ago -- that and the buzzkill that is their company -- might be a culprit.
Because if you're inclined to worry a lot about pregnancy, it can help you ditch your panic.
Many young people who post at Scarleteen expect periods to come on the same date each month, and freak out when the period that came on the 10th last month hasn't come on the 10th of this one. But because each month doesn't have the same number of days in it, a period that comes on the same date each month would actually be an irregular period, not a regular one. To best know when to expect our periods -- when they are at least somewhat regular -- we count the number of days from cycle to cycle, rather than just paying attention to the date. But even then, we might have some variation sometimes, so if, over time, we've also charted things like changes in mood, changes in discharges and changes in temperatures, even if the dates aren't exactly when we expect, we'll have a pretty good idea of if and when periods will be likely to arrive.
Lately we've also seen young people terrified because (pardon me for a minute: shame on you TLC) they're still worried about pregnancy even when periods have ARRIVED. This is another way charting can be helpful. Yes, every now and then some pregnant people will have decidual bleeding they mistake for a period, and will not know they are pregnant until later in the pregnancy. Decidual bleeding -- which is the exception, rather than the rule, anyway -- isn't likely to come with all the symptoms of a period, and also doesn't often tend to come at exactly the same time a period would though. As well, nor will some things that typically happen when you aren't pregnant be taking place, like seeing fertile cervical mucus or like having basal temperature peaks and drops. You can observe all of those things through charting.
Because even if you don't use or want to use NFP as a primary method, knowing your own fertility can be a great backup method for other non-hormonal methods of contraception.
Natural family planing can be a very effective method of birth control for those who can use it properly, and for those who do have regular cycles. In perfect use -- daily charting and NO intercourse during fertile periods -- it's 96% effective. In typical use, however, that drops to 80%. Failure is usually do to either not charting every day or not charting properly, interpreting the data from charting incorrectly, or from not abstaining from sex during fertile times. Some people aren't going to be able to use NFP correctly no matter how hard they try if they don't have regular cycles, can't chart every day, or have partners who just won't cooperate with not having intercourse during fertile times.
While a lot of people aren't the best candidates for NFP as a sole method, it can be a fantastic secondary method for those using barrier methods like condoms or cervical barriers or for those who use withdrawal. For instance, even with only typical, rather than perfect, condoms plus FAM/NFP can offer you 97% effectiveness: that's more effective than the pill used by itself in typical use.
Even if you're not perfectly regular every month, there will likely be some periods of time where you are regular, and can get a pretty good idea of when you are most likely to be fertile, and least likely to be fertile. If you know that, you can choose to only have sex at all, with your other method of birth control, during times when you're probably least likely to become pregnant. And using NFP as a backup has no side effects, no health risks, is totally free (save the $10-$20 for a basal thermometer) and doesn't interrupt sex in any way.
Because it can be part of a daily ritual to honor, care for and acknowledge a huge part of your body and mind.
Fine, I'm a big hippie. And yes, I know some of you bristle when I say things like this, suggesting I'm saying you should howl at the moon (though you should at least try it once, and it doesn't have to have anything to do with periods) and fertilize your garden with menstrual blood (which is a fine fertilizer, by the way, but I digress). That acknowledged, I personally do think that having small, daily rituals to acknowledge and check in with the rhythms of our body, our body parts and our sexual health are positive and empowering. In the work that I do, I encounter a lot of people, especially women, who are very uncomfortable with their own bodies, who see genitals as fine for sharing in sex, but not fine for their owners to engage with, or who feel like their sexual partners are the experts on, or the primary observers of, their bodies, rather than themselves. I just can't get on board with that and see any of that as the good stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's great when partners are also attentive and observant about your body, but I want you to be the person who knows your body best, and is most in tune with it. I also want you to feel comfortable in your own skin, and with all the parts of your body.
I also think it's important for a healthy self-image and a healthy sexuality to remember that our genitals are not just about sex and aren't just there for other people. We walk around with them all the time and they've been part of who we are since before we were born. Whether or not we have sex -- with partners, with ourselves -- whether or not we procreate, whether or not we have any problems, there our reproductive systems are, including our vaginas, doing their own thing all the time, ever-active and engaged with the rest of our bodies. It's tougher to feel ashamed about your genitals when you pay real attention to them every day. I know a lot of you look into the mirror regularly as a ritual, or have a zit-checking ritual, so why not add one that acknowledges this part of who you are?
Sometimes we also want to do things that would be easiest to do, or more pleasant, when we aren't menstruating or are prepared to menstruate. Knowing when to expect our periods helps us know that bringing a menstrual cup or pads when we're out in the middle of nowhere camping is mighty helpful, for example. Having a pretty good idea of when periods are going to arrive can help us better harmonize our lives with our bodies.
Because if at some point you want to become pregnant, being an ace with charting is going to make that a lot easier.
Given the age of most who come to Scarleteen, few of you will have a hard time becoming pregnant. There seems to be a sort of Murphy's Law that often those who want to become pregnant the least, or who are the least prepared for pregnancy, seem to wind up pregnant the most easily. As well, many of you don't want to become pregnant right now, some never do.
But later on in life -- and for some of you, now -- you may want to become pregnant. Some of you also may find you have issues with fertility, now or later. If you want to become pregnant at closest to the time that works best for you, or are having troubles becoming pregnant, charting will be your first step. And if you already know how, you won't have to wait on your own learning curve and a few months of new charting.
Because it can be great information to have for your healthcare provider.
If you're having issues or problems with menstruation, like painful cramps or heavy bleeding, having charts to show your doctor can help them figure out what the issue is much more quickly than they often can without those records. If you have concerns about your fertility, all a healthcare provider may need to do is look at your charts to determine if there's cause for that concern. Being an expert on your own cycle can also help you to feel more assertive when talking to doctors about any issues you might be having with them.
Because it can be a way to find out that your pill really IS working.
If you are using a hormonal method of birth control, you can't chart your natural fertility cycle because that method is suppressing and altering that cycle. However, we'll often hear from users of hormonal methods having a tough time believing that those methods are really working, so if you're in that boat you certainly could chart for a bit to discover that your charting looks very different from a chart of someone not using those methods. You might even just want to do it out of burning curiosity.
Toni Weschler's Ovusoft site has a huge archive of sample charts you can look at to see what charts look like for a wide variety of women: http://www.ovusoft.com/ourtcoyf/gallery/
For instance, this one is an example chart of a woman charting her first month after using the birth control pill for 12 years. Compare that with this one, the chart of a woman not in that situation who did conceive in the month the chart is from. See how different they are, even though that first woman is no longer taking the pill?
Because it's cool, and you can really geek out on it.
Can we ever have enough things to get our geek on with? I think we all know the answer is no.
So, want to start charting? My favorite simple online tool for charting periods lately is this one: http://monthlyinfo.com. It's not as handy if you want to do mucus and temps, as it won't calculate those, but you can add notes to each day if you want to, and those notes can include temps and mucus, or whatever else you'd like. It's a simple, fun interface and you can even set it to send you a nice, friendly reminder your period is coming a few days in advance.
Here are a few more online options:
Know that some online tools without entries for cervical mucus observations or basal temperatures will make predictions about when you ovulate. Be aware that those kinds of predictions may not be accurate, and are usually based more on averages than your own unique cycle. So, if you're using charting as a primary or secondary form of contraception, those won't be great choices. If you want online tools to use for that, or in your own paper charting, be sure to choose those which also require cervical mucus and basal temps.
If you want to chart on paper, here are a couple good blank charts:
We have a great piece by Kate Storm on FAM and the specifics of charting on site here: Get With the Flow: All About FAM. It also includes a printable version of the charting calendar from S.E.X. Happy charting!
Hi, I'm 14-years old and I have a few questions.
1) OK so I first got my period about a year and a half ago, but they come really randomly. When is it probably going to develop a pattern?
2) So last night I had an itch, so I scratched my vagina. A few minutes later I realized that about a half hour earlier, when I went to the bathroom, I flushed the toilet AFTER I washed my hands. Earlier that day, there was a teenage guy over my house that probably did use that bathroom. I also live with my teenage brother and he always uses that bathroom. Is it possible that I could have gotten an STD or even pregnant? I'm really scared and I'm freaking out right now.
Yesterday, after working my second job at the clinic, I was effectively kidnapped by my co-worker Gigi and her ten-year-old daughter Sophia, whom I adore. She calls herself Big Sophia around me, my pug (scroll down this page for a visual) being Little Sofia. We wound up driving from their place to my neighborhood for dinner, which is a pretty long haul.
I know having your partner finger you during your period is perfectly safe (while a little messy), but I do have another concern: my boyfriend often puts that finger in his mouth to taste the fluid after he's done fingering. So I was wondering, is it safe to do that while on your period? Like, are there any health risks involved with ingesting the blood? Now I do realize this would be a very small amount of blood, but I'm just curious.
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