I'm 13 and i just want to know out of curiosity if you can have sex if you haven't ever had your periods AT ALL? Does it make any difference if you've had them before or if you haven't? Is it really possible to just get your first period while you're in class or doing something and actually have enough blood come out for you (and everybody else) to see, or does it come gradually and you actually have enough time to go to the bathroom and put a napkin? It's kind of scary ^^
Toni Weschler used to be my neighbor, a fact that caused me to squee more than a little loudly and scare the bejeezus out of my pets when I first discovered it. Sadly, we didn't connect as often as I wish we had before I moved out of Seattle and to a more remote island outside the city.
A while back, I sent Toni some questions for Scarleteen, and many months later, she apologized for sending them to me so late. Now I owe her an even bigger apology for publishing them far later than that!
If you don't know who Toni is, she's the author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement and Reproductive Health, which is pretty much THE book for people who want to chart fertility, and the book I used to learn how to do it well in my 20's. She also wrote a great book about menstruation and charting for teen women, called Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body. She's an amazingly dedicated and energetic person who also just happens to really, really like chocolate croissants.
You've dedicated your life's work to menstrual charting: why do you think charting, and awareness of menstrual cycles, is so important?
In a word, it’s incredibly empowering. In addition to helping to increase self-esteem by helping women to take control of their bodies and appreciate their incredible intricacies, charting is infinitely practical. It’s wonderful as an overall means of maintaining gynecological health, as a method of natural birth control, and as an aid to pregnancy achievement.
What myths about menstruation do you think do us the most harm?
Ovulation occurs on Day 14
First and foremost, I’d say the myth that ovulation occurs on Day 14. Not only is this myth responsible for more unplanned pregnancies, but also for untold numbers of women not being able to conceive.
The issue of unplanned pregnancies is huge. Unfortunately, most of us grow up hearing that the egg is released on Day 14, so if we just avoid that one day of our cycle, we can prevent pregnancy, right? Wrong! First of all, not all women ovulate on Day 14. Secondly, even if some women do ovulate on Day 14, the day of ovulation may vary from cycle to cycle. Thirdly, sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman’s body, so if a woman has sex on Monday, she can still get pregnant that following Friday!
The opposite ramification of this myth pertains to the issue of infertility, which can feel even more overwhelming for scores of women desiring to get pregnant. Again, a woman may ovulate on Day 14, but could just as well ovulate on any other day. So she could theoretically try for years to get pregnant by timing intercourse for that one mythical day, only to discover that she never ovulates then, but rather weeks later!
A normal menstrual cycle is 28 days
Actually, a normal menstrual cycle can vary from about 24-36 days. Not only do cycles vary substantially among girls and women, but they often vary within each individual person. There are numerous things that can impact a cycle. One of the most unfortunate results of this myth is the needless anxiety that it causes people who are led to believe over and over again that they may be pregnant because their periods are “late.”
Vaginal discharge is a symptom of an infection
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yes, it’s true that discharge can be a sign of an infection if it is accompanied by itching, odor, or inflammation, but the female body has a predictable way of revealing how healthy it really is. Every cycle, when a girl or woman is about to release an egg, she will produce a wet, slippery substance for several days leading up to ovulation. It is called cervical fluid, and is absolutely healthy!
So rather than feeling shame or running to the gynecologist every cycle when you produce this normal cervical fluid, take pride in the fact that your body is doing what it was designed to do!
A lot of young women tell us they want to avoid touching themselves genitally, an obvious problem in a lot of ways, but also when it comes to charting and menstruation. What do you think about that, and what do you think can help?
It’s so sad that in our society, boys are often raised to take pride in their bodies, especially their penises, while girls are taught to not even discuss what’s “down there.” So is it any wonder that girls feel uncomfortable with the idea of looking at their vulva, let alone touching it?
One of the best ways to help girls get over their squeamishness is to give them a mirror and encourage them to look at their vulva in private, after having taken a shower or bath. Once they feel comfortable in just looking at their external anatomy, they will probably feel more relaxed about touching their vaginal lips and exploring their bodies more.
Another way to help girls get over their squeamishness is to help them appreciate how amazing their female bodies really are. Once they learn all the incredible things their bodies do every cycle, they will take much more pride in them and undoubtedly want to get to know them better.
Do you see any trends in increases of reproductive health problems for young women, and if so, do you think they really are new, or are instead only just being diagnosed now (or, of course, misdiagnosed)?
Girls are tending to have sex earlier in the last few generations. And whenever someone has sex, their chances of contracting an STI increases. The younger a girl is when she starts to have sex, the more partners she will probably have, increasing her chances of developing a reproductive problem that could ultimately affect her fertility when she is older.
What makes this situation especially problematic is that the cervix in young girls is not fully developed, so that the most vulnerable part is most exposed to pathogens that can cause infections, reproductive problems, and even cancer.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a different situation. It is only relatively recently that physicians have started learning about the condition and its pervasiveness. Fortunately, girls are now being diagnosed and treated earlier, before it has a chance to impact them so negatively.
How do you feel about menstrual suppression, especially for younger women?
In a word (or two): Bad news! For starters, there hasn’t been any research yet on the long-term health effects of suppressing periods in women in general, and teens in particular. History has already shown us that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) had potentially disastrous effects on women, but its repercussions were discovered only after years and years of use.
What we do know is that periods are necessary to rid the body of excess iron which can help lower a woman’s risk for cardiovascular disease. In addition, periods wash away bacteria inside the reproductive tract. And probably most importantly for teens, suppression of menstruation is likely to interfere with bone and breast development, as well as long-term fertility.
And, of course, periods are nature’s way of alerting a woman to the fact that she is not pregnant. Without them, it would be next to impossible to know if or when a woman got pregnant.
Finally, girls should grow up understanding the amazing ways their bodies work. Menstruation is an indication of the health of their bodies, not something to be eliminated!
As you may know, at Scarleteen we do not yet endorse suppressing menstruation/continuous birth control -- using a hormonal method of birth control in order to skip withdrawal bleeds/periods -- for women under 18, because there still is yet to be any study done or published with adolescent women to evaluate if it is safe or medically sound for those in that stage of physical development.
There is yet no available data concerning the long term effects of menstrual suppression on a woman's overall health, at any age. I should also mention that no studies have been published yet about the safety or efficacy of suppressing periods with the patch or vaginal ring.
However, there have been published and reviewed studies for women over 18 using oral contraceptives for suppression. Even though sample sizes have been relatively small (and to my understanding, without control groups of women not using BCPs), and they have been short-term studies, they have provided enough information to make clear that it is probably safe for most older women. Those studies have also shown clearly that suppressing periods/withdrawal bleeds properly does not reduce the effectiveness of birth control methods in preventing pregnancy. Some women (of all ages) also have health conditions where even if they suppress periods, it is potentially or surely safer/better for their health and quality of life not to have them or to have them infrequently.
But older women's bodies aren't the same as women who are in the thick of their sexual development, and not wanting to have your period because your boyfriend is wigged out by it isn't a health condition. Sexual development usually is not finished completely by 18; most women under 18 are still in that process, and some women's health experts have had particular concerns regarding breast and cervical cell development in this regard, concerns we feel are sound, especially with no study done with that population to review.
The Society for Menstrual Cycle research mentions their concerns about adolescent women and suppression in their position paper here, a statement in alignment with Scarleteen's current position. Until we have studies to look at about teen women and suppression, we're going to stick to our stance of not yet recommending this and instead suggesting that if this is something you want to do, you discuss it with your doctor.
Because we're not going to endorse this here yet, we don't have a sheet on how to do this here yet, either. I don't feel comfortable giving a how-to on something when we don't yet have any evidence it can be safe, particularly something that for most users here asking about it, isn't about managing otherwise untreatable pain with menses, but is fully elective and solely about convenience or the perception of convenience (for example, the idea you can't go dancing or swimming with a run-of-the-mill period, or can't have sex with a partner on a specific date you or they want to because you're menstruating and they'd be all grossed out). Again, if this is about pain or other issues with menstruation nothing seems to be helping, or about conditions like endometriosis or mood disorders, please consult with your doctor who can consider you as an individual and do their best to assess if suppression is safe for you.
However, we keep getting users who think suppression means they can manipulate hormonal methods in ways that would decrease the effectiveness of those methods in preventing pregnancy, and we have had heard some readers who have risked pregnancy when they did not want to take that risk or have become pregnant because of bungling attempts at suppression. Our users who want to avoid periods usually also want to avoid pregnancy.
Here's the deal: skipping the PLACEBO period (the non-active pill period, or the week-off period with the ring or patch) of methods that can be used to suppress periods will NOT decrease your method's effectiveness, and THAT is the way you can -- with our caveat about questions of safety -- try and skip/reschedule periods.
In other words, if someone wants to do this, she starts a pill pack (or ring or patch) as usual at Day 1, she takes NO LESS than 21 active pills (with any given pack), and then when she gets to the placebo pills/week, she moves right to the next pack of active pills, patch or ring without taking that week off. That may result in some mid-cycle spotting, but women doing this usually (but not always) will not have a full withdrawal bleed until the next time they take that placebo/inactive week again at the next scheduled time for one in the following month's pill pack. There are also a couple pill brands expressly designed without placebo pills in them every month as part of the regimen.
What you CANNOT do, if you want those methods to remain effective at preventing pregnancy, is interrupt the active pill cycle or skip ACTIVE pills (or rings or patches).
In order for your hormonal method to prevent pregnancy, you MUST always take the active pills or parts of a method exactly as directed. If you stop taking active pills, rings or patches mid-cycle, or start them late, those methods will no longer be fully effective and may NOT prevent pregnancy.
If you would like more information on suppression in general, including references to the studies with post-pubescent women, see this page from the ARHP: http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/clinical-fact-sheets/menstrual-suppression
P.S. To be fully transparent, I personally have strong concerns about some of the attitudes about periods and menstrual suppression, and some of the unfounded claims about NOT suppressing, which I wrote about here. However, those opinions and feelings are separate from my concerns about safety and certainly separate from my addressing the issues of potentially and unintentionally risking unwanted pregnancy in attempts to manipulate periods.
Yesterday, after working my second job at the clinic, I was effectively kidnapped by my co-worker Gigi and her ten-year-old daughter Sophia, whom I adore. She calls herself Big Sophia around me, my pug (scroll down this page for a visual) being Little Sofia. We wound up driving from their place to my neighborhood for dinner, which is a pretty long haul.
I know having your partner finger you during your period is perfectly safe (while a little messy), but I do have another concern: my boyfriend often puts that finger in his mouth to taste the fluid after he's done fingering. So I was wondering, is it safe to do that while on your period? Like, are there any health risks involved with ingesting the blood? Now I do realize this would be a very small amount of blood, but I'm just curious.
If you're due to start your period and your boyfriend fingers you, can fingering stop you from coming on your period or make you a little late?
Ok, I'm almost 14 and I have not started my period yet. I'm short (4 foot 11 inches) and I don't know if that would affect me not having it yet. I have cramps like the ones you would have before your period but then...nothing. I'm an active person, but normally active, not overly active and not a couch potato. All of my friends at school have already started. Although I'm glad I don't have to worry about something else in my life, I don't know if its normal or not for me not to have my period. Please help, thanks!
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