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My best friend raped me last year, and I'm just starting to deal with it.

Anonymous asks:

Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..

Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?

He says he won't use condoms on our honeymoon, even though I don't want to get pregnant.

Cassandra asks:

My boyfriend and I have been dating well over a year and we have talked about getting married. He said that on the honeymoon he is not going to wear a condom. I, however, want him to because I don't want to get pregnant right away. I know that you won't get pregnant right away every time, but I don't want to take the chance. I have told him this, yet he still insists on not wearing one. Basically I'm asking how can I change his mind or get him to see it from my point of view?

How did my boyfriend get Chlamydia?

Sarah M. asks:

I have a very confusing situation. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We both had partners before each other, but have always used condoms. Since we have been in this relationship for a year, and have both been tested for STIs, and I am on birth control, we have started to use condoms less. We use them when we remember but if its a spur the moment kind of thing, we don't worry about it.

Recently, my boyfriend approached me and said he has an STI (chlamydia) and I should get tested. I was mortified! I had just been tested two weeks before and everything came back negative. His previous testing had also been all negatives. I went back and was re-tested, and again the results came up negative (I was given a prescription just in case).

Neither of us have ever had sex without a condom before now. How is it possible that he suddenly developed an STI when both of us have tested negative before, and haven't been with anyone else? Could it be a misdiagnoses, or is it possible to get an STI another way? For example, having unprotected sex while the girl is on her period? Help!!

What is erection?

luke asks:

What is erection?

Can men have too many orgasms? Can you run out of semen?

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend is worried that if he orgasms too often, he'll run out of "man juice" and start "shooting blanks". This makes him wary of orgasming twice in one day. This sounds like a myth to me- as long as a guy waits long enough between orgasms, he won't "run out" of semen right?

Too wet for good friction?

kristopolis asks:

I'm a female college sophomore & started having partnersex fairly recently, around May. So far it's been a wonderful experience but within the past six weeks or so my partner has had difficulty climaxing because my vagina gets so wet he loses sensation. To be honest, it doesn't feel as great for me either when I'm totally sopping and lose all sense of friction! We've never used condoms (we're both STI-free & I'm on the Pill) and never had a need for lubricant. I know that your amount of vaginal secretion has a lot to do with where you are in your cycle, as well as being aroused...I'm just not really sure what to do about this. Obviously, it's not something I can control but I've started to get so nervous during sex that I'm going to get "too" wet that I can't climax either! And that isn't much fun at all. Is this a problem that other girls have? And how would you recommend dealing with it? Thank you so much.

How can I give her an abortion?

Anonymous asks:

I had sex with a girl a week ago. She didn't say anything about contraceptives. After we had sex she said she wasn't on birth control. I asked her why she naver said anything? Anyhow I heard of a guy a few years ago who had the same problem. He took a bottle full of coke and turned her bottom up and poured the bottle into her vagina. I told her about this. She was willing to try it. So we did the deed. Is this a safe practice? If she misses her period would it be safe to learn how to use a coat hanger? It would be sterile. Is there somewhere you can learn to perform an abortion with a wire?

I'm a guy, so how come I don't enjoy intercourse?

John asks:

My girlfriend and I care about each other very much. recently we had decided to become sexually active. She has had previous partners though she was my first. She says that I satisfy her, though I have honestly told her she does not satisfy me. I told her it doesnt matter but she is very upset and I am myself bewildered. How can I not enjoy intercourse? Especially considering its a new and exciting experience?

My boyfriend said I'm "dirty and used." What do I do with that?

Alice asks:

I’m eighteen, and I’m madly in love with my boyfriend. We’re supposed to get an apartment together in December and I feel like I could spend every day of my life with him. I’ve been with a few (ok, 6, or 5, depending) guys before, and one night he got trashed and told me he would never marry me because I’m “dirty and used”. In the morning when I asked him about it, he said he didn’t mean to be that harsh, but in all honesty, he won’t ever marry me because I’ve slept with too many people. What the hell?

We waited for marriage... but it wasn't worth the wait.

Anonymous asks:

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

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