maturity

He says he doesn't like condoms, so should we use withdrawal instead?

Bam+Bam+ItsSam asks:

I am a 15 (almost 16) year old virgin. My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex. We love each other, we are both mature and know everything, and we both ARE ready. He isn't a virgin, he had sex once before. While having a discussion on the phone he mentioned to me about this round-a-bout and that he doesn't like using condoms. I am completely 100% for condoms and would never risk myself getting pregnant or getting something (even though I know he doesn't have anything). But he insists that he barely pre-cums and when he does "finish" he knows beforehand. I know guys just say that. I've thought about it and maybe after were used to intercourse I'll think about the pull out method. But ONLY if we use another type of protection.

What do you think about the pull out method? For the other question I have, what is safer to use, in a girl's point of view? Morning after pill? The Ring? Birth control? How can I get my hands on a Morning after pill? Thanks ever so much.

P.S. your site rocks =]

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Ready But Waiting asks:

I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience a sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience. It's like everyone else getting their license and you're still riding your bike to school. I have another dilemma that rebukes this
problem as well - I'm waiting for the "right guy" to `come along. But the trouble with that is, I don't know who "Mr.Right" is! Sure I've dated and such but they never seem right for me. Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

He won't do anything sexual that's about my body: what can I do?

Jessica asks:

My boyfriend does not satisfy me sexually. He only lasts about 10 minutes, he won't rub my clit because he doesn't want fluids on his hand and he won't eat me out because he thinks it's nasty, but he thinks that I should give him head. We have been together for 2 years and now it's really affecting me. What can I do?

I'm shy, and I'm worried he'll leave me because of it.

kriba123 asks:

Hey, I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for around 5 months now and I'm really afraid I'm going to lose him. He has been trying to finger me lately and right before I reach my climax I chicken out and tell him to stop. I think it's just because I'm really self conscious and scared of what he'll think of me. I also don't want him to see me naked cause I'm very shy and just scared about what he'll think. I've told him this time and time again but he keeps giving me lectures that I need to grow up. I'm really afraid he's going to dump me! I really care about him and I just need help on what to do. How can I be less self conscious about myself?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

13 & 14: sex isn't working, and he's getting angry

Confused and hopeless asks:

I am 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We have been going out for 9 months, and we have tried to have sex a few times. although, every time we try, either he can't get hard, or it is excrucitangly painful for me. We are both virgins, so neither of us have any experience with this. One time we tried, he was hard, and it didnt hurt me, but his penis just wouldnt go in, is there something wrong?

I would also like to know what the best condom brands are, because the ones he uses are just the free ones my brother got from the bagly dances and gave to my boy frined as a joke. While I am on the topic of condoms, sometimes he ejaculates before he even goes in, he always gets upset and dosent want to try again, but would it be ok to still have sex even with the ejaculate in the condom?

He has also fingered me but gets angry when I don't get wet. Is there any way to make me get wet faster, or easier?

I am sort of glad though, that it hasn't worked, because I can still call myself a virgin. I don't think I would be ready if we really had sex. Right now we are talking a break, and agreed that it kind of makes me uncomfortable so we agreed not to go further than making out, and feeling (clothes on) but I would really like to have this information, for the next time we try.

Taste test

Anonymouse asks:

My boyfriend only gives me oral sex for like two minutes every two months because he says that it taste terrible and he can't deal with it. I'm thinking that since he says it taste terrible it probably smells terrible too! Since I am willing to give him oral sex what can I do so that he is willing to please me also? Help!

Not Everything You Wanted To Know About Puberty (But Pretty Darn Close)

Puberty is the process of physical changes and sexual maturation leading to sexual maturation as well as complete body growth. During puberty, your whole body goes through growth spurts until it has become physically mature in terms of bone mass and size, and the sexual organs and secondary sexual characteristics develop and mature. Chances are, if you're at this website, you have likely already started puberty.

Safer Sex...for Your Heart

We talk a lot about sexual safety and safer sex here at Scarleteen in terms of your physical health. But what about checking in to see if sex is safe for you and yours emotionally? Taking care of your emotions, looking out for risk factors in advance -- not just when they become an existing crisis -- and safeguarding yourself, your partners and those around you from needless hurt and harm is just as important as doing what you can to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies.