I like to fantasize about being spanked when I masturbate, and I'm wondering if I would like it in real life sex play, too. Trouble is, I'm a little nervous about the idea of actually trying it out, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my boyfriend if he'd be cool with that! What should I do?
Most of us who work or volunteer here at Scarleteen are bookworms, and are also really interested in following popular culture to see what's happening, especially in terms of frank conversations about sex, sexuality, desire and fantasies. When a lot of people started talking about 50 Shades of Grey, we started paying attention. And when a bunch of media outlets started falling over each other to either hail the book for making BDSM mainstream and celebrating female sexuality or condemn it for those same reasons, we got curious.
As a woman who often enjoys being sexually submissive and as someone who has moved in kink circles, I set out many times to start reading the book, but shied away from it again and again. BDSM, in all its variations and manifestations, has a pretty bad rep: a lot of the time when we meet characters in books or on TV who engage in BDSM, they are either leather-clad outsiders (who are also often involved in sex work - think Lady Heather from CSI Las Vegas), or deRead more...
I'm 20. I had sex with a not-quite-boyfriend, okay, ex-boyfriend who I broke up with but still have feelings for. He decided that it would be fun to try some light bondage. It took me by surprise, but I usually do like that sort of thing. But at certain points...I felt really scared, and at others, I felt pleasure. However, the overall experience was negative, and I found myself wanting to stop--but I couldn't say no. I started to cry and he untied me. I wanted to slow down and just kiss, he wanted to finish. So I let him come on me, but I really didn't want him to. I felt really violated. Afterward he tried to cuddle with me, but I wouldn't let him. He tried talking to me a little bit about it, and said that I could have said no and that would have been better than crying--but the thing was I couldn't say no. What happened?
I caught my partner lying about his past. It was a few weeks ago and we "cleared it up" yet I still feel out of place. At first he told me that he was a virgin (I didn't really believed him since he was 24 and he told me his ex was "kinky") but as I continued to question him he said that there was penetration. I was pissed at that moment but I decided to ask him what is it to have sex to him and he told me he considered penetration sex. Yet he applied a few excuses and I can't find to believe him, could he be lying about more?
I'm very confused with my sexuality; I'm a 17-year-old Austrailian male who is definitely attracted to women, but at the same time have an attraction to men that mostly involves fantasies where I play the receptive "bottom" role. I have acted upon these fantasies and sought out sex with other men, however every time it comes to engaging in oral or anal sex I enjoy it far less than I thought I would, even to the point of being bored! Every time I swear it will be my last because I didn't enjoy it, but lo and behold I get aroused again and seek out sex with men, and leave again disappointed. I'm also not attracted to the actual man; more the penis. I don't know what this means; it's worth noting that I have engaged in sexual activity with women, in everything other than actual intercourse and enjoyed it greatly. Add to the confusion the fact that I have a longing to crossdress, especially in women's lingerie, and I'm about as confused as it's possible to be. Please help shed some light on the situation!